Browns Set Sights On Bridgewater, Bridgewater Quits Football

Browns Set Sights On Bridgewater, Bridgewater Quits Football

LOUISVILLE- University of Louisville quarterback Teddy Bridgewater has decided to end his football career 3 games into his junior season amidst rumors claiming the Cleveland Browns want to draft him in next year’s NFL Draft.

The news of his potential future employer’s plans came after Browns management got really drunk and drunk dialed Colts Owner Jim Irsay to trade star running back Trent Richardson for a 1st round pick in 2014, a pick Richardson alluded the Browns may use to obtain Bridgewater.

Bridgewater admits he hasn’t slept since hearing the Browns were interested in him.

“I believe it’s time to call it quits before I end up in NFL purgatory with the Browns. How they even field an NFL worthy team is beyond me, all I know is I don’t want to be in their future plans,” said Bridgewater.

The Browns, who have a rich football history known as the Baltimore Ravens, said the Louisville quarterback’s decision was very premature, and if anybody knows anything about being premature on decisions, it’s the Cleveland Browns (see the Trent Richardson trade).

“We would’ve loved to have Teddy in Cleveland for a year-and-a-half before prematurely trading him to another team for next to nothing, but who knows? We might have taken another 45-year-old rookie quarterback, like we did with Brandon Weedon,” stated head coach Rob Chudzinsky. “Players like that are old enough to remember when we were good.”

Louisville head coach Charlie Strong said that while the loss of their star player will hurt their team, he completely understands Teddy’s decision. “It sucks, but it’s not like our schedule is a killer lineup. We play 3 high school teams this year, and no one has even noticed. In fact, I think the Browns might even be on our schedule too? So, I’ve been pondering the idea of not even fielding a quarterback. I’m going to see if I can win on defense alone.”

The news of Bridgewater’s decision is shocking, but it isn’t unprecedented. While he was drafted by the Chargers in 2004, Eli Manning whined his way onto the Giants roster the very same day. Manti Te’o faked a dead girlfriend to scare away every team but the Chargers from drafting him in 2013. Finally, Ryan Leaf pretended to be a terrible quarterback and a nut job to force the Chargers to release him in 2001.

Bridgewater went on to add, “You ask any quarterback in the NCAA that has pro potential and they will tell you the same thing, the Browns are awful. I know for a fact that Johnny Manziel signed all that stuff for cash just so he wouldn’t have to play this year. He was afraid of playing too good and getting drafted by Cleveland.”

Cleveland’s next game will be at home September 29th against the Bengals, unless they decided to trade schedules with the Colts. Then their next game will be at Jacksonville.

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