DENVER — Von Miller and the Denver Broncos have comes to terms on a new $70 million contract to ensure Miller never goes on ABC’s Dancing With The Stars ever again.
“We’re thrilled to have finally reached an agreement with Von,” Broncos GM John Elway said. “We really wish we could’ve reached this agreement sooner, but we’re glad we did so before he agreed to do any Dancing With The Stars reunion specials.”
Sources within the franchise believe Miller appearing on Dancing With The Stars was hurting the team’s image.
“Von dancing the cha-cha and the tango in a spandex jumpsuit every week on national TV was a really bad look for our organization,” a team official said. “Almost as bad as Peyton Manning kissing Papa John after the Super Bowl.”
It’s rumored that competing on DWTS is the worst possible thing a player can do in the offseason.
“Give us a Johnny Manziel, Ray Rice or even an Aaron Hernandez. At least the NFL is used to athletes committing crimes and abusing alcohol, drugs, and loved ones. But how do you explain one of your star players pelvic thrusting to Ricky Martin music on national TV.”
In an effort to find a silver lining in all of this, head coach Gary Kubiak said, “At least it took some of the attention off of his Sally Jessy Raphael glasses.”
Meanwhile, the Broncos remain firm in their decision to not draft Michael Sam as he would’ve been a “major distraction.”