LOS ANGELES — The Los Angeles Lakers’ Shaquille O’Neal statue was erected outside of Staples Center earlier this morning and reports from the area claim it is already feuding with Kobe Bryant.
According to sources, Bryant and the Shaq statue are already at odds and there are rumors the statue could soon demand a trade to another arena.
The statue, which is made entirely of STEEL of Gold Bond, is considered to be the largest Laker statue outside of Staples and the most talented Laker inside Staples.
It is unsure of how this feud began exactly, but many speculate it could be because the statue portrays Shaquille O’Neal dunking a severed Kobe Bryant head through a hoop.
On top of that, a night before the unveiling ceremony, TMZ released grainy footage of what appears to be the Shaq statue freestyle rapping at a nightclub with lyrics demanding Bryant to “tell me how my asphalt tastes.” When reached for comment, Bryant said he was not amused.
“How do you expect me to coexist with a statue like that? It’s not me, it’s him!” Bryant told sources. “He hasn’t said a word to me since his arrival.”
“You think I never pass?! That statue has held onto the ball since he got here,” Bryant demanded.
“It’s unfortunate to see a Laker great like Kobe already feuding with a statue only hours after it was erected,” Lakers co-owner Jeanie Buss said. “Almost as unfortunate as seeing Shaq in a Celtics jersey at the end of his career.”
The Kareem Abdul-Jabbar statue refused to comment on this story because it is a freaking statue.