Pitbull bought the naming rights to FIU’s football stadium for $1.2 million per year for the next 5 years. That’s right, the FIU Panthers will be playing their home games in Pitbull Stadium. So we started wondering what artists would be good fits to buy the naming rights of SEC stadiums? Here’s what we came up with…

Alabama – Beyoncé

Look, this partnership goes without saying. They’re both arguably the greatest of all-time. And both of their fans are annoying and everywhere.

Arkansas – E-40

Like Arkansas, E-40 is one of those artists you don’t think of first without seeing a list of other people’s work. And the SEC is that list for Arkansas. E-40 is featured on a lot of other people’s songs, but rarely known for anything he’s dropped on his own. Much like Arkansas. Known for being featured in the SEC. But rarely have they accomplished things on their own.

Auburn – Madonna

Just a couple of folks who used to be great, but lately these days, just a hot mess.

Georgia – Justin Timberlake

Definitely one of the greatest, with all the talent being there and well respected, but they certainly both have trouble behind the wheel.

Florida – Linkin Park

A program and band who certainly had its day, but lately just feels like it’s grasping at relevance. Not to mention, both groups of fans love wearing jorts.

Kentucky – Tyler Childers

Their fans are loud, proud, and will argue their important to anyone who will listen, but the general public couldn’t tell you a damn thing they have ever produced.

LSU – Taylor Swift

Everyone will agree it’s one of the best stadium shows you could ever possibly attend and they’re always at the top of everyone’s lists for their performances, but also because their fans are psychotic if you don’t mention them.

Mississippi State – Busta Rhymes 

Like Mississippi State, Busta Rhymes is just kinda there. Does he drop good music every now and then? I guess? But no one is going out of their way to hit up a Busta Rhymes concert. Dak Prescott is basically Pass The Courvoisier.

Mizzou – Chappell Roan

Where in the hell did they come from? Feels like just yesterday they were struggling to find success and we were making fun of them, and now out of nowhere, they’re one of the hottest names around?! WTF?!

Ole Miss – Zach Bryan

Neither is probably winning any hardware any time soon (Grammy’s or natty’s), but they’re just here to provide good vibes and good times, whether at a tailgate or an all-night revival.

Oklahoma – Drake

There’s no denying their success as one of the best for a long time, but lately had a little fall from grace.

South Carolina – Daft Punk

They can be fun at times, but they’re not everyone’s cup of tea. Can they produce a party? Hell yea. But the mood has to be right and it has to be during a Saturday night.

Tennessee – Creed

They had massive success in the 90’s, but fell off for a bit and became the butt of everyone’s jokes. But now, they are kinda having a moment again. Are they cool again? People are asking.

Texas – The Chainsmokers

They think they’re hot shit, but really the only people who like them are their fans. They suck to everyone else.

Texas A&M – Lady Gaga

They really have had trouble figuring out their identity and who in the hell they are, but also because they have had mad beef with Texas/The Chainsmokers.

Vanderbilt – Sufjan Stevens

This partnership is perfect because Sufjan Stevens is one of those artists whose fans feel like they’re smarter than you. But very few people care for or think about their product.

The post Pitbull Bought The Naming Rights To FIU’s Football Stadium, But What Artists Should Buy Naming Rights To SEC Stadiums? appeared first on Korked Bats.

The Yankees lost their 14th game out of the last 18 last night, losing to the Red Sox in 10 innings, 5-3, but somehow they still brought home a dub. One of the greatest MLB franchises ever just dropped a bobblehead honoring one of the greatest sitcoms ever, by honoring one of their greatest employees. Not Jeter. Not Gehrig. Not even George Herman Ruth, or George Steinbrenner, but rather a different George. Last night, they dropped a bobblehead in honor of their former assistant to the traveling secretary, George Costanza… and yada, yada, yada, it’s real, and it’s spectacular. It’s about time the Yankees partnered with Vandalay Industries. Seinfeld remains an iconic classic sitcom. And I know the older I get and the longer I hold on to this take, the more and more I sound like my parents honking Three’s Company or my grandparents attesting that The Andy Griffith Show is still the greatest sitcom of all time. But I feel like I still have a few more years to stand by this take before my millennial ass enters boomer territory. Seinfeld is on Netflix right now, so go start it. The first season or two might be a chore to get through, like most shows, but once it gets into a grove, it doesn’t look back for nine seasons – which is almost half as many seasons as it’s been since the Yankees won a World Series.

Look, it’s not often I’ll give the Evil Empire their props, but here I have to tip my cap like that little kid at Jeter’s last game. Here’s hoping Yankee Stadium went full Seinfeld and stocked the concession stands with pretzels that make people thirsty.

P.S. Larry David’s story of firing George Steinbrenner is an all-time story.

The post This Yankees Bobblehead Is Real, And It’s Spectacular appeared first on Korked Bats.

Not the worst guess in the world. Cubs were coined the loveable losers. The Phillies were just losers. I’ll give these dweebs that one.

…Or fans of college sports…pic.twitter.com/BYjNnF4lJ1

— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) June 4, 2024

Transfer portal, you morons! Again, kinda hard for someone who hasn’t taken their noses out of 1600’s French Literature in the last five years as the portal is a fairly new concept in college athletics. But that’s not all!

…Or the NBA.pic.twitter.com/1FGdDhWv39

— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) June 4, 2024

Durant?! That’s all you got? Woof. That’s brutal. And maybe slightly racist? People are asking. But damn. These folks are stupid! Now look, was this blog solely written to make fun of NERDS! Who’s to say really? But yes. Yes, it was. “Austin, it’s 2024. Bullying isn’t cool anymore.” And to that sentiment, I’d agree with, bully sucks. However, pretentiousness still is prevalent. Mostly among people with high IQ’s, who read more than three books a decade, and contestants on Jeopardy! You know every contestant on that show looks down at someone who doesn’t know the difference between mid-1700 renaissance painters or who assassinated Dr. Humphrey Boyle in Sweden in 1872. So, if I – as one of those people who doesn’t know the answers to those made-up questions I just came up with – have a chance to get one over on these geniuses, you bet your ass I’m gonna take it. So suck it, nerds! Read a book, once in a while. And by book, I mean sports almanac, you doofuses!

The post BREAKING NEWS: ‘Jeopardy!’ Contestants Still Don’t Know Anything About Sports appeared first on Korked Bats.

VERDICT

As much as I don’t like the term, “Thrill-Ride” might be the most appropriate description for a movie like ‘Furiosa’. It’s two and a half hours of pure fun. While it doesn’t capture the imagination of 2015’s ‘Mad Max: Fury Road’, it’s still deserves a much better box-office take than unfortunately it’s received so-far.

3.5/5 Swedish Fish

So what do you think? Be sure to holler at us on Twitter (@korkedbats) and Instagram (@korkedbats)

Also, be sure to follow Korked Bats on YouTube.

The post 3 Big Things on ‘Furiosa’ – A SPOILER-FREE Video Review appeared first on Korked Bats.

Luca Guadagnino’s follow-up to 2022’s ‘Bones and All’ may not be his most groundbreaking film, but it certainly is his most entertaining. For me, if ‘Dune: Part II’ didn’t come out in March, ‘Challengers’ would easily be my favorite film of 2024 so far.

With it’s impeccable cast, fast-paced storytelling, and INSANE score it’s damn-near impossible to have a good time watching ‘Challengers’. Some of the technical choices left me a bit puzzled, and the ending is a bit of a mystery, but I can’t wait to see it again.

Check out the video above for a more-depth (and SPOILER-FREE) review!

VERDICT

4.5/5 Swedish Fish

So what do you think? Be sure to holler at us on Twitter (@korkedbats) and Instagram (@korkedbats)

Also, be sure to follow Korked Bats on YouTube.

The post 3 Big Things on ‘Challengers’ – A SPOILER-FREE Video Review appeared first on Korked Bats.

As of late, I feel like my existential dread meter has been quite low. Fear of societal collapse truly is the spice of life. Can you really enjoy a good time without, what my therapist calls, a “slighty irrational” fear of the world ending? ‘Civil War’, while slightly being able to fill that void for me, wasn’t actually what I was expected. In some ways that’s a good and in other ways it’s not.

Alex Garland’s ‘Civil War’ is his follow up to 2022’s mind-boggling, squirm-in-your-seat, gloom-fest ‘Men’. Once again, Garland showcases his mastery of making his audiences uncomfortable for 90 minutes. Now, ‘Civil War’ doesn’t include a gruesome 5-minute sequence of dying “man” giving birth to other dying “men” (sorry for the spoilers but if you haven’t seen ‘Men’ at this point you’re not going to). It’s discomfort resonates from the extremely realistic depiction of front-line war violence.

‘Civil War’ is a visceral and immersive war film. It echoes shades of ‘Saving Private Ryan’ and ‘Full Metal Jacket’ in a very unique but somewhat unengaging manner. Although it avoids taking a preachy and polarizing tone on modern society (although not completely void of social commentary), ‘it ‘Civil War’ can’t really decide on what it’s identity is.

#DunstDudes–Where You At?

I’m now officially accepting membership into my Kirsten Dunst fan club. The Dunst-Dudes. Being a “dude” is not a requirement–I just have a thing for strong consonants and alliteration. If my theory is correct, you can expect #DunstDudes to be trending on Twitter as hard as Conan O’Brien on Hot Ones was this weekend.

Performances are truly the high-point of ‘Civil War’; starting with our aforementioned Kirsten leading the charge. She’s taken the roughly 30 years of Hollywood B.S. she’s dealt with and created a character who is absolutely calloused to the world and war around her. She truly is the heart and soul of ‘Civil War’ but that’s not to say she isn’t also complimented by a tremendous supporting cast.

Wagner Moura seems to be at the beginning of having a “moment” in Hollywood and has Pedro Pascal-esque charisma and charm. He’s a wildcard in the best sense throughout the film.

Speaking of having a moment, Cailee Spaeny much? Between this, ‘Priscilla’ and the upcoming ‘Alien: Romulus’, she is about to become a household name. And finally, is any movie ever made worse when Stephen McKinley Henderson shows up? No. The answer is no.

S#!t’s Loud.

‘Civil War’ is a film that benefits from being seen in a theater. Alex Garland use of sound, and to a large degree music, magnifies the visceral nature of being embedded in the front-lines of war. The final 15 minute sequence feels genuine due to the how intense the sound pumps through the speakers. I can’t imagine watching this at home and it having the same effect.

Alex Garland, without diving too deeply into exposition or backstory, uses technical aspects to raise the stakes of the film. We may not really understand the who, what, and why of things, but we feel the gravity of warfare simply by how the film is shot and turning the volume up to 11.

The tragedy of ‘Civil War’

While I can honestly sit here and say that ‘Civil War’ is thought provoking and an overall positive experience, it’s true downfall is that it really doesn’t know what type of movie it wants to be. It’s stuck somewhere between a cautionary tale for modern America and a compelling story about war journalists. While this does help to not drag the audience into a morality play which causes us to choose sides, it doesn’t do itself any favors in establishing a firm identity.

VERDICT

Although it has it’s high-moments with outstanding performances from it’s cast and technical prowess from it’s director, ‘Civil War’ is a movie that doesn’t really have a firm identity. This lack of a truly compelling story keeps it out of the upper-echelon of war movies even though it strives to be there.

3.5/5 Swedish Fish

So what do you think? Be sure to holler at us on Twitter (@korkedbats) and Instagram (@korkedbats)

Also, be sure to follow Korked Bats on YouTube.

The post ‘Civil War’ Review – SPOILER FREE appeared first on Korked Bats.

Every vote has been counted, and It’s time to announce our winners! Special thanks to everyone who voted! This is truly our favorite time of the year, and having you all along for the ride makes it that much more special.

Enough mushy stuff. Let get to the fun part. Your winners of the 2023 Tommy Awards are:

The 2023 Tommy Legacy Award

If you’re confused as to why a film in 2018 just won an award for 2023, you’re certainly not alone. Every year, our dearest CineBoi Tom (who these awards are named for) chooses a film or TV show from the past that he finally got around to in 2023 and loved. Tom loves to take his time, but his winners are never wrong.

Congratulations to Alex Garland, Natalie Portman and the rest of the cast & crew of ‘Annihilation’.

Best Actress of 2023

Fresh off her Golden Globe win Sunday night, Ayo Edebiri is our winner for actress of the year. Is a Tommy more prestigious than a Golden Globe? Probably not but at least you don’t have to sit through a Jo Koy monologue…shots fired. Edebiri was EVERYWHERE this year, but truly what put her over the top was her supporting performance in ‘The Bear’

This is Ayo Edebiri’s first nomination and first win.

Best Actor of 2023

Another Golden Globe winner from Sunday walks away with his first Tommy Awards as well. He’s patiently waited through 20 years of supporting roles in Christopher Nolan films to finally get the lead and he absolutely crushed it. Perhaps the single best performance by any actor for 2023. I think he can confidently look forward to bringing home the Oscar come March.

This is Cillian Murphy’s first nomination and first win.

Best TV Show of 2023

Honestly, we thought ‘Succession’ in it’s last year was going to take the cake, but ‘The Bear’ snuck in from behind and took the Tommy. It might even be good enough to fill the ‘Succession’ sized hole in my heart. I guess this makes up for us not including in the vote for last year’s Tommy’s.

Congrats to the cast & crew!

Best Movie of 2023

Are you really that surprised? Yah, ‘Barbie’ got a lot of the vote this year, but let’s face it, Christopher Nolan is among everyone’s favorite directors and this is his magnum opus. It’s truly deserving of this prestigious award.

What do you think of this year’s Tommy Award winners? Is there anyone you think we missed? Be sure to holler at us on Twitter (@korkedbats; @thecineboiz) and Instagram (@korkedbats; @thecineboiz)

Also, be sure to follow Korked Bats on YouTube and subscribe to The CineBoiz Podcast wherever podcasts are found!

You can watch us announce the winners on our latest episode here:

The post The 2023 Tommy Awards: Your Winners appeared first on Korked Bats.

We’ve announced our nominees and now it’s up to you to VOTE!

Voting is open now and closes this Saturday, January 6th at 9 AM CST! Be sure to make your voices heard! The winners will be announced on Monday’s new episode of the CineBoiz Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast wherever podcasts are found or watch this Monday on the Korked Bats YouTube page.

VOTE HERE!!!!

The post The 2023 Tommy Awards; TIME TO VOTE appeared first on Korked Bats.

January is universally recognized as the worst month of the calendar year but everyone who doesn’t have a birthday this month. It’s cold. It’s dark. The magic of the holiday season is gone. My annual crippling depression seeps back into my life, perpetuated by the Tennessee Titans failing to make the playoffs of course, and there is no happiness or joy whatsoever.

That is exactly why we took matters into our own hands and round-house kicked January right in the teeth by launching #JeanClaudeVanDammuary.

A chance for us to honor the greatest living thespian of this (and any) generation. Each day throughout January, we share a unique photo or video of the legend himself, Jean-Claude Van Damme. No longer will he just be known for Bloodsport. No longer will he be known as the action star who was in that one movie with Dennis Rodman back in the day. NAY! No, now he will finally be given the respect he deserves. If we have a month for breast cancer, pride, and black history, then it’s about time we have a month dedicated to the man who once stopped a terrorist attack during Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final in which the Vice President was in attendance. So join us in celebrating the life and career of everyone’s favorite Belgian actor, martial artist, and conservationist.

Ladies and gentlemen, happy Jean-Claude Van Dammuary.

The post Jean-Claude Van Dammuary Is Here! appeared first on Korked Bats.

Where would we be without the invention of the TV? It’s the fireplace that modern society gathers around for comfort, relaxation, and fun. We here at Korked Bats and The CineBoiz Podcast truly love our TV’s. We doubt we’d be half the boys we are without them.

So it makes sense that we would want to nominate some of our favorite TV shows from the year of our lord 2023.

And the nominees are…

The Last of Us (HBO; Max)

The Bear (FX)

Silo (Apple TV+)

Succession (HBO; MAX)

Hijack (Apple TV+)

Ted Lasso (Apple TV+)

Slow Horses (Apple TV+)

Jury Duty (Freevee; Prime Video)

What do you think of this year’s nominees for Best TV SHOW? Is there anyone you think we missed? Be sure to holler at us on Twitter (@korkedbats; @thecineboiz) and Instagram (@korkedbats; @thecineboiz)

Also, be sure to follow Korked Bats on YouTube and subscribe to The CineBoiz Podcast wherever podcasts are found!

You can watch the TV SHOW Nomination episode here:

The post The 2023 Tommy Awards: Best TV Show Nominees appeared first on Korked Bats.