The first of HBO’s new two-episode documentary TIGER dropped on Sunday night and man, did you guys know Tiger Woods is good at golf?

Kenny from The Cineboiz and myself broke it down in this podcast. Everything from the cast of characters with all-time names, to Dina Parr and Tiger’s young love, to what the hell was it like inside Earl Woods’ Winnebago?

Other topics we hit on:

Was Tita Woods the most terrifying woman alive?

What was Tiger’s obsession with scuba diving?

How did Tiger get the name Eldrick?

And, of course, we have an official FIST PUMP counter.

If you’d prefer to listen… Check it out on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. And be sure to SUBSCRIBE to The Cineboiz.

The post Let’s Talk ‘TIGER’: A Recap Of HBO’s Tiger Woods Documentary – Episode 1 appeared first on Korked Bats.

Former NFL running back Danny Woodhead qualified for the 2021 U.S. Amateur Four-Ball Championship set to be held at Chambers Bay in University Place, Wash.

Woodhead and partner Michael Wilhelm combined to shoot a 2-under par 69 at Firethorn Golf Club in Omaha, Neb. on Monday to make it into a three-way playoff for the second qualifying spot. A birdie in extra holes gave Woodhead and Wilhelm the invitation to the championship.

via Pro Football Talk

Admittedly, I had no idea what the “Four-Ball Championship” was until I read the article. But now that I do, AND YOU WILL NOT FIND BIGGER FOUR-BALL CHAMPIONSHIP FANS THAN US AT KORKED BATS.

The four-ball championship is a relatively new addition to the USGA’s championship slate. The championship was first held in 2015 and is a two-man, better-ball format. It’s composed of 128 teams of two that play 36 holes of stroke play before the top 32 teams move to match play.

WE ARE SO FIRED UP FOR DANNY!! You thought Danny was retired?! SIKE! He’s out here pivoting into a new sport! He’s a relentless workhorse! How do I know? I saw it first hand. I’ve been on the golf course with him.

Maybe not physically on the course, but on the course with him via Instagram Live. I basically instilled as much golf knowledge as I could in our ~10 minute conversation. And whatdoyaknow, less than 2 months later he’s qualifying for the Amateur Four-Ball Championship.

What a year for Danny. From going on IG Live with me, to qualifying for a Four-Ball Championship. Have yourself a year, Danny!

The post Former NFL Great Danny Woodhead Is Now A Pro Golfer In A Move We All Probably Expected appeared first on Korked Bats.

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You never know when the quarantine scaries will arise, and unfortunately, with the announcement that the Masters have been rescheduled, they hit again. Because The Masters won’t be played until mid-November (12-15). Insert audible sigh here. So naturally, the quarantine scaries reared its ugly head yet again.

I mean, are the azaleas even going to be alive still? Pretty sure all the chirping birds will have already flown south. And Jim Nantz… My gahhh… what will be of Jim Nantz?! Will he leave the CBS NFL booth for a Masters Sunday? لعبة بلاك جاك مجانية It doesn’t matter, he’ll be missed in both chairs. العاب استراتيجية اون لاين

Yes, it’s better than no Masters whatsoever. But at the way we’re pacing will we even make it to November? It took us six months just to get through March. When you say November, you might as well be saying 2035. Same difference at this point.

Look, I’m sorry for being snappy. I haven’t gone on my daily walk yet. موقع رياضي That’s been my dessert lately. Maybe I should just go do that. Ok. Bye.

The post VIDEO: Quarantine Scaries – Masters Week appeared first on Korked Bats.

Hey grit, two part question here: are you tired of being the coronavirus guy and what do we do now? Yes, valued reader, I am tired of every blog or tweet I write being about this god-forsaken sickness. Your second question, however, brings me hope…

Every movie we watch based in the future has no recognizable sport. We must now prepare for the future of game being Jason Statham-type fellas and ladies having to Deathrace for their freedom since they were framed for a murder they did not commit. We must prepare by forcing our citizens to select a boy and a girl, called Tributes, to compete in a nationally televised event called the Hunger Games. We must prepare. This is the future. Congratulations. We made it.

-grit

The post The Masters Was Postponed: Your Guide On What To Do Next appeared first on Korked Bats.

I consider myself a “lucky guy.” I have beautiful healthy kids, an awesome wife, a job I don’t deserve, a great beard, a real #blessed existence. العاب للفوز بجوائز حقيقية

There is one area of my life where I am criminally unlucky, The Masters Draw. Want to get sad? Plug “your application was not selected for tickets” into your email search bar and take the only stroll commoners like we will ever take down Magnolia Lane. الربح الحقيقى من الانترنت

Why am I saying all of this? Because if I won tickets, you could guarantee the golf gods would shut it down. لعبة ضومنه اون لاين للايفون This is my cross to bear and I carry it proudly for you all. Enjoy The Masters without fear, people. Maybe carry some hand sanitizer and wash your hands before eating those (I assume) lovely pimento cheese sandwiches. You are all welcome.

-grit

The post Coronavirus Will Not Affect The Masters: Opinion appeared first on Korked Bats.

Haters will say it’s photoshopped, so here’s another angle for good measure.

Tiger Woods stans will argue, “Well, let’s see the rest of her game!” But do we even have to? Ever heard the expression “drive for show, putt for dough?” Putting is as important as it gets. And here’s Mary Ann, a bunco enthusiast (I assume), sinking 94-footers like their Werther’s Originals and Metamucil.

Most PGA-ers complain when a green plays fast. Can you think of a faster playing green than the hardwood of a college basketball court? Mary Ann would make Torrey Pines look like a putt-putt course in Panama City.

94 feet! That’s almost a foot for every year she’s been alive. Most grandmas make really good cookies. Mary Ann makes putts like she’s Lee Trevino.

Yeah, Lee Trevino in a brand new car. That’s another thing I’ve yet to mention. MeeMaw got herself a new whip.

I know Augusta National still thinks women have cooties or whatever, but they have to find a way to get this woman into the field for the Masters.

#MaryAnnToTheMasters

The post 84-Year-Old Mary Ann Is A Better Golfer Than Tiger Woods And I Dare You To Try To Argue Otherwise appeared first on Korked Bats.

However, shortly into his time on set, you could quickly tell Clint Eastwood wasn’t all there. And by “wasn’t all there,” I mean he wasn’t there at all.

What the hell is going on here? What is Clint looking at? What is he thinking about? Is he thinking at all?

• Clint Eastwood keeps hearing all this talk about birdies even though he can’t find any.

• his background as a director in Hollywood has him mesmerized with the lights on set.

• when you think you hear the chair talking back to you

• Clint sees a light at the end of the tunnel. Just walk to towards the light, Clint… just walk towards the lig—*gets interrupted by Jim Nantz*

• the only thing higher than Clint’s pants in this shot is him

• trying to figure out who put his belt on and why they put it on so crooked

• when the Metamucil hits

• we all take naps while we watch golf, maybe that’s just what Clint was doing

• wondering why he agreed to make The Mule

• trying to figure out why a cartoon band would name a song after you

• trying to figure out why a cartoon band would name a song after you when it has absolutely nothing to do with you

• when you’re sitting at the Applebee’s bar and rhythmic gymnastics comes on the TV

• more like Clint Northwatch, amirite?!

• Clint is high enough to smell math

• Clint has no idea how headsets work and cannot figure out for the life of him where those voices in his head are coming from. “God?!” he wonders.

• Wanna feel old? This is Eminem today.

Not sure what exactly is up with our guy, Clint. But hopefully he snaps out of it in time to star in another movie that revolves around an old man who is set in his ways and unwilling to change until maybe the very end of the film.

The post What Exactly Was Clint Eastwood Looking At? appeared first on Korked Bats.

CBS Sports broadcaster Jim Nantz is known for being the voice of The Masters, but even more known for coming up with ridiculous, pun-filled one-liners after someone wins.

We decided to help Jim out by coming up with some lines for him to use at this year’s Masters.

If Jordan Spieth wins…

“He’s got himself a Spieth of history!”

“Another championship for Air Jordan”

“Younger guys always have fewer strokes than older guys, and that was the case today for the healthy Jordan Spieth.”

“He’s of legal drinking age, so they’ll be celebrating at the Spieth Easy tonight!”

“After a weekend of providing SPARKS, the green jacket goes to JORDAN. Enjoy it, young man, as we SING YOUR PRAISES!”

“He is Twenty-one, and no he has twenty won!”

“Call him ‘Spieth 2’ because he’s on Cruise Control.”

“Give Spieth a chance.”

“Spieth Softly, and carry a big stick.”

“It’s as Spiethy as Sunday morning.”

If Justin Rose wins…

“Just-Win Rose!”

“Roses are best, violets are blue.”

“Never let go, Rose! This is a Titanic win in your career.”

“The azaleas here at Augusta are in full bloom, but so are the Rose’s!”

“And your new Masters champion is Rose The Riveter. He Can Do It!”

If Phil Mickelson wins…

“It Phils good to be Mickelson.”

“And the new Phil-osophy pays off.”

“The LEFT hander is the only man LEFT standing.”

“That’s a rap! Go ahead and call him Masters P.”

“Look at this photograph. Because Mickel’s back.”

If Charley Hoffman wins…

“Trevor Hoffman is baseball greatest closer, and Charley Hoffman just became golf’s greatest closer.”

“Don’t hassel the Hoff, man!”

“What the Chuck?! Hoffman gets the green!”

“Julio, get the stretch. Chuck-town funk you up!”

“O’Charley! What a roll to victory!”

If Kevin Na wins…

“Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Hey, Hey, Hey, Goodbye!”

“Na Way Jose!”

“Is anyone else going to win the Masters or Na?”

“Everyone forgot about Kevin, and now he’s bringing the green jacket Home… Alone.”

“On the Periodic Table, Na is known as Sodium and has an atomic number of 11. On the Masters Leaderboard, Na is known as champion and has an atomic number of 1. It’s science.”

If Tiger Woods wins…

“Woods You Believe it? Tiger wins his fifth green jacket!”

“The eye of the Tiger is on the prize.”

“Tiger Woods pleads the fifth!”

“He’s done it. Tiger’s first-win since Elin.”

“He’s a man on the streets, a freak in the sheets, and a champion in the golf cleats.”

“Glutes Activated!”

“Being on top is Tiger’s new favorite position!”

“Winner winner, Perkins dinner.”

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post Final Lines Jim Nantz Should Use At The Masters appeared first on Korked Bats.

 #TBT to when Adam Sandler made hilariously great movies.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post Adam Sandler and Bob Barker Get In Another Hilarious “Happy Gilmore” Brawl [VIDEO] appeared first on Korked Bats.

YOUNGSTOWN, OH —

“Golfing is an extremely difficult sport,” Ellsworth said while wiping drool off his chin. “But I think staying awake while watching golf on TV is even more difficult.”

Ellsworth, 37, who claims to be able to make it through at least 6 innings of televised baseball without falling asleep, says he watches the event every year and just can’t stay awake for the life of him. “The sport is slow and low scoring,” Ellsworth said. “It’s like watching the Browns’ offense.”

“Maybe it’s the birds chirping or the soft whispering,” Ellsworth admitted. “Or maybe it’s the massive doses of sleeping pills I take before watching to prevent my wife from making me do yard work during Masters weekend. Who knows?”

• • •

This post was written by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

And also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post Area Man Keeps Falling Asleep While Watching The Masters appeared first on Korked Bats.