WNBA Archives - Korked Bats

WNBA Celebrates Breaking 10,000 Attendance Mark

Joe — Thu, 10 Oct 2013 13:01:38 +0000

ATLANTA- WNBA President Laurel J. Ritchie announced this week that the league has finally eclipsed the 10,000 mark in attendance, which occurred during the WNBA Finals match-up between the Minnesota Lynx and the Atlanta Dream.

“It’s been a long time coming, but I feel that with this landmark we have proven that the WNBA has staying power!” Ritchie announced during a pre-game press conference. “We’ve only been a league since 1997, so this attendance mark really shows that the fans are there, somewhere. I mean these weren’t ghosts showing up to these games, were they?” Ritchie said before running off screaming about ghosts.

The WNBA, which started with 8 teams in select NBA markets has expanded to 12, with teams spreading from Seattle to New York, now sees the chance to add more teams due to their attendance boom.

“It’s great to know that since ’97 we have had exactly 10,000 people see our games in person, some probably stayed for the entire game!” stated Atlanta Dream forward Angel McCoughtry. “Who knows? Maybe we might start getting paid more than the guys now!” Then everyone laughed and laughed and laughed.

The fan who broke the 10,000 attendance mark was Minneapolis housewife Velma “Beans” Johnson, who seemed shocked about the attention she received during the game, “They gave me a jersey, free tickets, a coupon for a hotdog, and 25 bucks. I told them I’d just take the 25 bucks because it was the only thing that had any value besides the coupon.”

WNBA President Ritchie went on to say that she felt it won’t be another 16 years before the next 10,000 fans came through the gates. “We know that we have some good quality basketball tailored for people who hate dunking, anything high flying, or athleticism. Basically if you love slow basketball and stop-jump layups, this is for you! So come on out!”

• • •

This post was created by Joe. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @JoeShowShow

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post WNBA Celebrates Breaking 10,000 Attendance Mark appeared first on Korked Bats.

WNBA’s “BIG” Commercial [VIDEO]

Austin — Thu, 24 May 2012 14:01:33 +0000

This season, the NBA has run a series of commercials with the slogan BIG attached to them. You have seen them, here, here, or our favorite, here. Well, the WNBA wanted to show it was BIG too, with a commercial of their own.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post WNBA’s “BIG” Commercial [VIDEO] appeared first on Korked Bats.

Reasons Why You Should Watch The WNBA Finals

Austin — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 15:01:14 +0000

The post Reasons Why You Should Watch The WNBA Finals appeared first on Korked Bats.

A WNBA Trick Shot Video Is Exactly What You’d Think It Is, Terrible

Austin — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 13:01:26 +0000

Let’s talk about Boost Mobile for a second.

It’s a cell phone company. A cell phone company that is struggling to exist in a market filled with competitor giants like AT&T, Verizon, and Sprint. Boost Mobile to other cell phone companies is like the WNBA to other sports.

Which makes sense why they would want to advertise on the front of WNBA jerseys now.

However, the cell phone company didn’t want to stop their advertising there. And for good measure, too. I mean, if an ad is on a WNBA jersey and no one is around to see it, is it still an advertisement?

So Boost Mobile decided to go viral too… Kind of. They grabbed a couple of WNBA players to put together a trick shot video. Or as we like to call it, a jump shot and behind the back shot montage. Keep up the great marketing, Boost Mobile, and keep up the entertaining jump-stop layups, ladies!

The post A WNBA Trick Shot Video Is Exactly What You’d Think It Is, Terrible appeared first on Korked Bats.

New WNBA Slogans

Austin — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 17:01:09 +0000

The WNBA is now in it’s 15^th season. I know, right? I’m thinking exactly what you are. How has the WNBA survived for 15 years? العاب تربح فلوس The WNBA is like the Saw movie franchise and not just because it’s incredibly painful to watch. Much like the Saw movies, when the WNBA first started in 1996, we were all like, “Ok, that’s cool.” But when they just keep coming back each year, it began to wear on us. لعبة 21 “Seriously? Another one?!” we would say.

Much like Shaq on Twitter, the WNBA cannot be stopped. We just have to embrace it. The professional women’s basketball league is here to stay. Blame who you want (I personally blame Judy Blume), but there is nothing we can do. موقع الخيل

We here at Korked Bats after many consecutive months of counseling have come to embrace this league. In fact, we want to help them out. After they refused our idea to play in bathing suits, we decided maybe we’ll help them out by creating some new slogans in honor of their 15th season. This is what we came up with:

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post New WNBA Slogans appeared first on Korked Bats.

Fine, I’ll Reference The WNBA.

Erin — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 14:01:40 +0000

I haven’t even celebrated my one month anniversary with Korked Bats yet, and I’m already getting bombarded with questions from people. In fact, if I had a dollar for every single time I was asked, “so are you going to write about woman’s sports?” I would have a LOT of dollars. (I’m talking no more cheap knock off Vera Bradley handbags kind of dollars) But all these questions have got me thinking.

Raise of hands. Who watches the WNBA?
Just you sir… in the back…with the mustache?
Point taken.

Basketball + Men = years of greatness. Like a LOT of years of greatness. كازينو عربي

Basketball + Women = this one time a girl could slam dunk. Sorry, ladies.

Why DO the guys get all of the glory? Why is more fun to watch them dribble the same, slightly bigger ball, down the same court, to run the same plays and to try to get that same, slightly bigger ball into the same net? Why? Why do the guys get to have all the fun with their professional sporting dreams? لعبه الروليت

I’ve used my deductive reasoning to figure out a few potential reasons.

The WNBA doesn’t necessarily have the best talent to draw from…

Also, have you heard what the WNBA names their teams?

This is real:

Minnesota Lynx

Atlanta Dream

Tulsa Shock

Chicago Sky

Connecticut Sun

Washington Mystics

Indiana Fever

Hey WNBA. if you need some more team name ideas, I may have some:

San Francisco Sprinkles

Jacksonville Jewles

Grand Rapids Giggles

Boston Butterflies

San Antonio Smaller Balls

Nebraska Nail Polish Removers

Portland Panties

Memphis Menopause

and the Montana Mammograms

The WNBA’s coaches are probably doing their job, but they also look like they are about to remind us to go clean our room

or that they just realized that you once again washed your shoes in the dishwasher

or that NaNa wants you to march back over to the candy isle and get her a Mr. GoodBar

We may never understand why it’s just so much less fun to watch girls play sports, so until we figure out how to get ratings up with out having to play everything in a bathing suit, let’s let the boys have this one. We can hold on to the things we know we are better at. موقع رياضي *

* – Hosting The View and childbirth.

If you’ve enjoy The Ladies Room here on Korked Bats, be sure to get more of it everyday of the week by following @LadiesRoomKB on Twitter.

The post Fine, I’ll Reference The WNBA. appeared first on Korked Bats.

Huff n’ Fluff – September 30th, 2009

Austin — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 16:01:00 +0000

This is a new recurring post that I would like to bring to Korked Bats. It’s called Huff n’ Fluff (the name may change because its kinda gay) and in it I will take recent sports news and just make some jokes about each one.

So without wasting any more time, let’s bring on the Fluff…

• • •

The WNBA season is about over and they are in their Finals. You guys probably care more about when the next World of Warcraft Lan Party is, but just keep reading.

Last night was Game 1 of the WNBA Finals with the Indiana Fever beating the Pheonix Mercury. It was actually the highest scoring game in WNBA History, 120-116.

What did the girls do after the big win?

They went home and made their husbands dinner.

• • •

The Eagles signed linebacker Jeremiah Trotter yesterday. You guys remember Jeremiah Trotter don’t you? He hasn’t played since 2007 and is making his third stint with the team.

The Eagles announced that they only signed the aging veteran to bring more publicity to the team by starting a reality show called, “Welcome Back Trotter“.

If you don’t think that’s funny, then “Up your nose with a rubba’ hose!“

• • •

That last joke was a Welcome Back Kotter reference. Just F.Y.I.

• • •

Don’t get down about losing your job, Jeff. I heard Bod Man Fragrance Sprays are looking for some guys for their new commercials.

Yesterday the Eagles also released veteran quarterback Jeff Garcia. The same Jeff Garcia that they signed two weeks ago.

It’s alright Jeff… Your stint with with the Eagles lasted longer than most of my relationships with girls.

And probably longer than Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odoms marriage. So hold your head up high.

Plus, this gives Jeff a chance to get with more NFL teams than Jessica Simpson.

• • •

Tim Tebow? More like Tim Teblow To The Head!

or the Tim Teblow Heard ‘Round The World!

In my eyes (and probably the eyes of every other SEC team), Kentucky won that game. ESPN about crapped their pants when Tebow went out. Any season ending injury for Tebow means hours worth of material that they need to find to fill time on their station with.

However, last Saturday’s game revealed the question that the only Kryptonite left on Earth lies in Kentucky’s two star Caucasian redshirt freshman, Taylor Wyndham.

Side Note: Does Kentucky ALWAYS run the Wildcat Offense?

• • •

The Browns announced today that they are switching starting quarterbacks.

Brady Quinn is now benched and Derek Anderson will start Sunday against the Cincinnati Bengals.

Get excited Browns fans! Your offense just went from sucking big time to just sucking.

• • •

That’s it for the first edition of Huff n’ Fluff. If you have any jokes or comments about any of todays news topics or any other news topics from around the sports world, share them below in the comments section. We would love to hear from you and we may use some of your material here on the site.

Also, we are looking for ideas of better names for these Huff n’ Fluff posts.

The post Huff n’ Fluff – September 30th, 2009 appeared first on Korked Bats.