Kansas City, that Bills game was one of the greatest games not just in NFL history, but in Chiefs history. :13 seconds left and Patrick Mahomes is like, “I got this” and proceeds to put the whole team on his back like they’re his wife and brother. But none of it happened until after Andy Reid poetically told him, “When things get grim, be the grim reaper.”

Sure, it may feel a little exaggerated, elegant and ripped straight from a Hollywood script, especially from a guy who in everyday press conferences does nothing more poetic than comparing the game of football to hamburgers. But we just have to take his word for it that he said that right before the greatest (and shortest) drive in NFL playoff history.

So celebrate the moment with some merch that would make Tech N9ne shed a tear. Celebrate with better priced merch than you’ll find at CHIEFS N’ CHOPPER… wait, sorry… CHIEFS N’ HYVEE. Let that game live on forever with a soft, well-fit t-shirt. And why not support your favorite comedic sports blog in the process? Or don’t. Your call.

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The post Kansas City, When Things Get Grim, Buy Some New Grim Reaper Merch appeared first on Korked Bats.

Everyone knows how great of a coach Andy Reid is. His track record to this point is undeniable. Even after the 42-21 shellacking of the Pittsburgh Steelers (SORRY AD), there is definitely one thing on his mind over football.

And its food. This man loves his food. And he knows how to weave it in a press conference like Shakespeare knows how to use words I don’t understand. He may not have the trophies to put up against Belichick, but when it comes to comparing football to food, my man Andy is undoubtedly the GOAT.

I honestly think other coaches should take notes. Maybe sprinkle in a couple food anecdotes along the way. Imagine if Joe Judge had compared his football team to a Chinese buffet. You know, saying something like, “The New York Giants, and what we have going on around here, is like a Chinese buffet. I have other players who left to go to other places because they get fed prime rib there. They’re calling me weekly telling me how much they miss the culture of the buffet here. They miss the unlimited potential of a buffet.” I bet if he had taken a page out of Andy’s book, tied in food somehow, some way, he still would have been fired for this monstrosity. Food can’t save everything.

All this to say. Andy. Just a couple more wins and you can have the juiciest of cheeseburgers you can find. And even if you don’t, treat yourself for making us smile.

The post In Case You Were Wondering If Andy Reid Still Likes Food, He’s Here To Remind You He Does appeared first on Korked Bats.

It’s been a couple of days and we still have no idea for sure what was found on the field during the Sunday night Raiders-Chiefs game. And yet, no one seems to care. Why?! There was either a fork or a pair of medical scissors foung in the middle of the field and we’ve all just moved on with our lives as if that’s normal?! WTF?! Why??

I know Vegas is the least surprising place to find something random on the ground, but whatever Quinton Jefferson picked up from the grass wasn’t just some female escort trading card. It was something metal. Either used for eating or used for cutting someone’s ankle spatting off their foot. Honestly, the most baffling thing about this is that we don’t know which. The scissors would make sense because trainers are constantly running onto the field, so a pair of their scissors could have easily dropped out of their pocket. And the fork makes sense because Andy Reid.

So how will we ever know what it is for sure? I zoomed in on the video. It appears to be scissors, but looks can be deceiving. I mean, the Chiefs appear to be back, but we just don’t know.

And if you search for it, it does you no help.

Some say scissors, some say fork, and some cover all their bases by just saying scissors/fork. And don’t miss Yardbarker down there with “bizarre object.”

Maybe this is all just one giant tactic for the Raiders home-field advantage. Just like how Notre Dame used to grow their grass real tall ahead of USC week to try and slow down USC (when they were good and fast), maybe the Raiders are littering their field with medical waste. When the Bengals come to town this Sunday, don’t be surprised to see Joe Burrow hold up a used syringe or soggy medical gloves. I know if I was an opponent, I’d hate to play in that kind of environment.

All I’m saying is we seemed to move on real quickly from the fact that there were either scissors or silverware on the field without ever getting to the bottom of it. I know we’re all used to the Raiders being a mess off the field but never expected that mess to make its way onto the field.

The post Did We Figure Out If It Was A Fork Or Scissors On The Raiders Field, And Oh Yeah, WHY IT WAS OUT THERE?! appeared first on Korked Bats.

P.S. — We officially unveiled the board – and broke it down – on this week’s Junk Drawer. Check it out here or wherever podcasts are found!

The post Here Is Your Official Super Bowl Storylines BINGO Card – Let’s Play! appeared first on Korked Bats.

Hill straight up embarrassed the Bucs secondary Sunday. There’s really no other way to put it. Like pants them in front of the entire school cafeteria embarrassment. The Cheetah eclipsed 200 yards in just the 1st quarter WHILE ALSO adding two unreal tuddy’s. In. Just. The. And I cannot stress this enough: 1st. Quarter.

Cheetah wasn’t done just yet. In total, Tyreek grabbed 13 passes from Patty Mahomes for 269 (ha, niceeeeee) yards and 3 tuddy’s. Wow. Just wow. The type of game that had fantasy owners everywhere changing their pants (including myself who went up against former Crown winner, King Henry.)

269 (????) yards is a lot of yards and you may be wondering: is that some sort of record? While many of us were hoping to witness history on Sunday, unfortunately 269 (extremely nice) yards was not quite the record for most yards in a game. That record belongs to none other than Flipper Anderson. Yeah that’s right, a guy named Flipper not only holds the record for most receiving yards in a game but also the record for weirdest name. He racked up 336 yards one time. Tyreek Hill, however, is just the second player since the year 2000 to have 200 or more receiving yards and two touchdowns in a single quarter. Tip of the hat, Mr. Hill (a cheetah print hat, of course).

But the real salt in the Bucs wound was when Tyreek went full Shannon Sharpe.

The post A.D.’s Crown Of The Week Goes To A Cheetah appeared first on Korked Bats.

Gamblers are always looking to blow some money on the outcome of the Super Bowl. Degenerate gamblers are always looking to blow all of their money on outcomes during the Super Bowl. The latter do so with random prop bets. ربح المال من الالعاب اون لاين Vegas lists odds for things that go on during the game to give the extreme gamblers even more to gamble on. كيفية لعبة البوكر

However, we discovered a list of prop bets that are lesser known to the general public. For your betting convenience, we’ve listed them below:

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Length of the Super Bowl pregame show

OVER/UNDER: The Irishman

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Someone at your Super Bowl party confuses national anthem singer Demi Lovato for…

Selena Gomez (+120)

Camilla Cabello (+205)

Lizzo (+1600)

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How will Demi Lovato end the Star Spangled Banner?

“…and the home of the brave!” (+100)

“…and the home of the Chiiiieeeeeeeefs!” (+3000)

*whispering* “…don’t tell your mother.” (+6000)

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Number of people who will say “Oh I love these!” whenever Budweiser airs its inevitable Clydesdales commercial

OVER/UNDER: Everyone

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Will Kyle Shanahan be dressed like he raided a Hurley outlet?

Yes (-100) / No (+900)

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Your wife/girlfriend will be uncomfortably focused on the game whenever Jimmy Garroppolo is on the screen

Yes (-100) / No (+1500)

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Your husband/boyfriend will be uncomfortably focused on the entire J-Lo/Shakira halftime show

Yes (-100) / No (+1600)

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Will Alex Rodriguez be shown during the halftime show jumping up and down, clapping and giggling?

Yes (+200) / Of course (-110)

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When Jennifer Lopez performs at halftime, will you be fooled by the rocks that she’s got?

Yes (+1200) / No (-120)

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Will Shakira’s hips lie?

Yes (+700) / No (-100)

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What will Chiefs tackle Eric Fisher have more of during the game?

Pancake Blocks (+900) / Beers (-120)

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Number of players it will take to tackle George Kittle

OVER/UNDER: 6

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Number of timeouts Andy Reid will have left at the end of the second half

zero (+105)

one (+700)

two (+1000)

three (+1600)

four, somehow? (+110)

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How big of a lead will Kyle Shanahan blow in this Super Bowl?

3 points (+600)

7 points (+750)

10 points (+900)

25 points (+110)

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If the Chiefs win, will Andy Reid try to eat the Lombardi Trophy?

Yes (-100) / No (+750)

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If the Chiefs lose, will Andy Reid try to eat the Lombardi Trophy?

Yes (-100) / No (+750)

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If Patrick Mahomes wins MVP, who will he thank first?

Miss Piggy (+150)

Gonzo (+300)

Fozzie (+500)

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Number of actual layers in Susan’s famous Big Game Secret Recipe 7-Layer Dip

OVER/UNDER: 5

(You’re such a liar, and we all know it, Susan!)

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Who will win the Puppy Bowl?

Kansas City Fleas / San Francisco Caniners (+2. راهن على كرة القدم 5)

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Number of times someone will stand in your view of the TV screen at your Super Bowl party

OVER/UNDER: “DAMMIT, GARY! GET OUT OF THE WAY!”

The post 20 Lesser Known Super Bowl Prop Bets appeared first on Korked Bats.

Jonathan Martin is thankful for his stuffed animals.

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Andy Reid is thankful for Kansas City barbecue.

• • •

Brian Wilson is thankful for Just For Men.

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Tom Brady is thankful for the hand-knit sweater his grandma made for him.

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Russell Westbrook is thankful for his grandma’s wardrobe.

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Brian Urlacher is thankful for his new job.

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Yasiel Puig is thankful for his NLCS Game 3 triple.

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Dwayne Bowe is thankful Sonic stays open late.

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Will Muschamp doesn’t care if it was on each other, he’s just thankful his team finally learned to block.

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Brandon Weeden is thankful for senior citizen discounts.

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Bill Belichick is thankful for the wind.

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Mike Shanahan is thankful for his tanning bed.

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LeBron James is thankful for Joey Crawford.

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Joey Crawford is thankful for David Stern.

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David Stern is thankful for LeBron James.

• • •

Tim Tebow is thankful for everything.

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Derrick Rose is thankful for Aflac, for when he gets hurt and misses work.

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

And also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post What Athletes Are Thankful For appeared first on Korked Bats.

The post Top 10 Greatest Fat Athletes appeared first on Korked Bats.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post Philadelphia Eagles On MythBusters appeared first on Korked Bats.

This season is clearly driving Andy Reid coo-coo-ka-choo.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post Andy Reid Looks Rough appeared first on Korked Bats.