This might be the dumbest day in sports, as I blogged about earlier, but there can be some good coming in the form of social media content. This is when we separate the men from the boys (a reference Harrison Butker probably loves). It should be noted that not all schedule release videos are created equal. In fact, some suck. Looking at you, New York Jets, Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns, Indianapolis Colts, Las Vegas Raiders, a few that just went with a hydraulic press, and a bunch that had to do with drawing and art.

We here at Korked Bats DO NOT do honorable mentions. Mainly because there is no honor in a mention. But if we did…

(in no particular order)

Honorable Mention – Pittsburgh Steelers

Ok, I’m a sucker for a good dad joke. I wanted to hate this one, but I couldn’t. Low-hanging fruit still provides a good source of food, you guys.

Honorable Mention – Philadelphia Eagles

Solid one-liners, solid editing. No mention or reminder of the fact that the Titans traded AJ Brown to them on draft night for nothing? Perfect. No notes.

Honorable Mention – Minnesota Vikings

I used to love watching Apple keynotes. Back when the company was innovative, creative, and design-focused (read: before Steve Jobs passed). So this was a solid spoof of those and well executed. Skol hat tip, Vikes.

Honorable Mention – Miami Dolphins

Simple and didn’t take me 6 minutes to watch. Respect, Miami.

6. Buffalo Bills

Getting players to act has an extremely high level of difficulty and usually fails (see: the Bears, Packers, and Patriots schedule releases), but I’ll be honest, Josh Allen kinda nails this semi-awkward role here. I came in extremely skeptical and he impressed. Then again, this is for a regular season schedule. Would love to see him put it together for a postseason schedule.

5. Tennessee Titans

They say the sequel is never as good as the original, and well, that proves to be true. There are moments in this video, but like getting players to act, this comes with an extremely high level of difficulty because last year’s schedule release video was perfect. Unfortunately, this was more Zoolander 2 than Terminator 2.

4. Dallas Cowboys

Look, I hate to give the Dallas Cowboys any more shine than they already get from the national media despite making fewer championship game and Super Bowl appearances over the last 25 years than the Titans, but I have to admit, this was solid. It was creative, original, banks on a popular trend, and is well executed. It did feel like a few were scripted or tipped off, but aside from that, it was funny. This will be the only time I ever say this, but well done, Cowboys.

3. Atlanta Falcons

Any nod to NFL Street is ok by me. Especially when it’s got as many Easter eggs as this video has. Attention to detail goes a LONG way on the Internet. This might be the only top 6 the Falcons appear in all year, but it was nice to see them receive national recognition for something other than inking a new quarterback.

2. Detroit Lions

It’s hard to go wrong with The Detroiters boys. Especially right now. Their stock price is hella high because they’re both incredibly funny. And neither guy seemed to be there just for the zipline. This was fun to watch. And wasn’t a chore, like the Raiders.

1, Los Angeles Chargers

No surprise here. The Chargers social media team is the absolute best in the business. On so many levels. But they seem to win (or at worst be top two) in every year’s schedule release. Pretty fitting for an account that started at P.F. Changs.

To paraphrase the great philosopher Marshawn Lynch, you could watch this over and over and over and over and over and over and over and still find new easter eggs in every watch. Like…

Or…

Or…

Or the absolute cherry on top…

Animators had to be working overtime on this one, because that Butker story just dropped a couple days ago.

The post SIXER: The Top 6 NFL Schedule Release Videos appeared first on Korked Bats.

• Is Jeff Saturday the greatest coach in the history of the NFL? People are asking.

• It was nice to see the Titans have some explosive plays on offense today. Feels like it’s been forever since they’ve had big plays that didn’t involve AJ Brown or Derrick Henry. Hopefully, this is a sign of things to come. – P.S. Does Derrick Henry get an assist for the flea-flicker touchdown pass to Nick Westbrook-Ikhine?

• The Broncos deserve to lose every game they mix and match their suspender tops and bottoms.

The suspenders are supposed to be one color. Ed McCaffery did not die for this. He’s not dead. But the point remains. He did not die for this. It’s honestly a worse look than whatever Russ wore in his most recent Subway commercial.

• Justin Fields is so good.

• The Bears are not. (…yet. Just wait until next year.)

• This entire FTX story has me riveted. Even though I know very little about crypto and/or what any of these stories are saying. All I know is that this crash is somehow larger than Enron’s crash. But no joke, never have I ever been so fascinated by a story I know so little about.

• Remember when Josh Allen used to be the joke of the league? When we all used to joke about how he’ll never truly be great. Very Kirk Cousins-esque almost. He would constantly produce dumb turnovers. But then overnight, he had a glow-up, got hot, and now he’s arguably the best quarterback in the NFL, if not, definitely top 3. It’s like when that chick in overalls and glasses from She’s All That took off her overalls and glasses and became popular. But every so often, you’re reminded that just because they look hot, they’re still a nerd. That’s Josh Allen this year. He’s super hot, but every so often he’ll have a 1 TD, 4 turnover game or maybe lose 9-6 to the Jaguars to remind you that underneath it all, he’s still that nerd.

• I’d still take Josh Allen as my team’s quarterback any day of the week.

• If Nick Westbrook-Ikhine keeps up this production and upward trajectory, the Titans will trade him on draft night.

• No, but seriously. The Raiders need a come-to-Jesus meeting because if Jeff Saturday can walk off the GetUp set one week and beat Josh McDaniels the next, then that’s not a good sign for Josh McDaniels. He was literally tweeting the Raiders a couple of weeks ago, and now he’s beating their ass.

And now they’re making Derek Carr’s mascara run.

• Guess it’s time to raise the banner in Lucas Oil.

The post Weekend Notes: Jeff Saturday Is The New Vince Lombardi, The Broncos Fashion Faux Pa, & WTF FTX? appeared first on Korked Bats.

The Buffalo Bills won big tonight. No one will deny that fact. Josh Allen looks 100% like he’s him. Everyone predicted Buffalo to win the Super Bowl this year, and they looked every bit of the part in Week 1. Even if you’re a Rams fan, you gotta be stoked that football is officially back. It was an awesome night all around.

And then @ESPN tweeted.

I ask this kindly, but what in the absolute hell is that tweet?!

Like, did this tweet get approved by someone before it was thrown up there? This is the Worldwide Leader and they’re tweeting like someone who just started watching sports this year. The Bills “got their shot”?! What in the hell does that even mean? Sure, we all remember the last time we saw the Bills play football. It was an iconic game in the divisional round of the playoffs and ended with the Bills getting screwed by overtime rules. And now they got their shot?? They got their shot against a different team. A different team that’s not even in the same conference. In a regular season game. What do you mean they got their shot? Gah, I wish I had a shot, because I’m way too sober to be having @ESPN show up on my timeline.

Seriously, is it a Disney thing that forces ESPN to hire the dumbest people to run their social media? Don’t get me wrong. I actually like that ESPN’s social media team sucks ass. It makes grassroots blogs like this one seem so much better that we run better socials with no budget while they’ve got mouse ears funding their endeavors. But maybe @ESPN should take @The_Moose21 up on his offer. I’m sure he’d gladly leave his teaching gig, and we’d probably rather read his tweets than whatever first-time sports watcher is currently running things. This isn’t the first time either.

Look, I hate people online who use this phrase, but I’m about to use this phrase. @ESPN, please, for the love of all that is holy, stick to sports.

The post @ESPN Needs To Stop Tweeting After Big Games appeared first on Korked Bats.

It has been six years since Rex Ryan last coached in the NFL, so he is now shifting gears to a different competition. CBS announced Ryan will be a contestant on the upcoming season of The Amazing Race. The current ESPN analyst will partner with Tim Mann, who Entertainment Weekly says is a probation officer and Ryan’s golf partner, to form a duo in Season 34.”

via Sports Illustrated

If you haven’t heard the news, former NFL Coach Rex Ryan is set to compete in season 34 of The Amazing Race on CBS. This is extremely exciting news for anyone still living in a world where they are preparing for Y2K. With the news coming out of Ryan being a contestant, we also have learned who his partner will be, and honestly, its more disappointing to me than finding out that The Amazing Race is still on television.

Rex has decided to team up with his long-time golf partner, Tim Mann. Now, I’m not trying to disparage a man who hails from the same area as Korked Bats’ fearless leader and Brentwood Bruin Legend, Austin Huff. I’d never. Especially since I now consider myself a Nashville native, having lived here for 2 months. And I’m sure Tim is a great guy. But Rex could have picked a couple of people that would have made the viewing experience more enjoyable for the audience.

Mark Sanchez

The duo that gave us the butt fumble would have been an unstoppable force on the amazing race. Unless, of course, one of the other teams had Brandon Moore. Either way, if you get a tattoo of your wife wearing a certain player’s jersey, I think that should automatically give said player dibs on being your Amazing Race Partner. If I were in charge, that’s the first rule I’d make, right before I canceled the show. Speaking of Michelle Ryan…

Michelle Ryan

Look. This is for one reason, and one reason only. With all the running and activities done while competing on The Amazing Race, can you imagine the amount of foot rubs Michelle would need? Rex would be in heaven. They could have a weekly foot massage counter. Instead, Rex chose his golf buddy. I’m sure this won’t cut down on the number of times Rex hears Michelle say “Didn’t you just spend 4 hours on the course with Tim yesterday? Don’t you guys ever get sick of each other?” Honestly, I’m just trying to look out for Rex in this scenario.

Rob Ryan

And finally, the one I might be most upset about. Imagine the Ryan brothers running around *checks notes* Germany, Austria, Italy, France, Spain, and Iceland, just to name a few of the places. The only reason I can think that this wasn’t Rex’s choice for his partner, is because CBS already has the pilot in the can for the sitcom they are creating revolving around these two guys. If this was the pairing, I may have actually shown up to the finish line, which will be here in Nashville.

Now, I’ll do what most people do, and probably definitely just miss the whole thing.

The post Hey Rex Ryan, Here’s A List Of Better Partners Than The One You Chose For ‘The Amazing Race’ appeared first on Korked Bats.

Look. As a rabid Chiefs fan, I believe I was declared medically dead at least once during this game. Was it the best game I’ve seen? Probably. How many times do you see three lead changes in the last 2 minutes of the game? It was the first time my eyes had seen it. So this game was undeniably a classic. Even still. I’m here to tell you that it could have been better. Just like the lead changes during the two minute drill, I have three specific moments/scenarios that, had they happened, would have would have been the cherry on the top of an adrenaline shot of a game.

What if the Bills had moved Stefon Diggs to Safety?

In most scenarios, a fan running on the field would have been the most talked about event at the end of the game. Since network TV doesn’t show it, these types of events are constantly blown out of proportion after the game. But with Mahomes and Allen playing Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed duking it out, Diggs’ tackle is getting lost in the shuffle. His WR stat line of 3 receptions for 7 yards didn’t add anything to the Bills offensive output. Why not try him at safety? He had, bar none, the biggest hit of the game. He might be the second best defender in the family, behind Aaiden, known defender of his favorite QB Patrick Mahomes.

What if Willie Gay Jr. actually made the biggest hit of the game?

What if Stefon Diggs’ hit wasn’t the biggest hit of the game? What if that prize had been awarded to Willie Gay Jr.? Why does this even matter? Because then I would have gotten to fire off the low hanging fruit tweet of “Man. Willie Gay just beat [INSERT BILLS PLAYER NAME HERE] like he was a Dyson.” I KNOW I’m not the only guy who preloaded that tweet into my drafts prior to the start of the game. Thanks for depriving me of that glory, Willie.

What if we got to see the Cheetah Celly?

PATRICK. WHY? You let your brother repeatedly do the same dance over and over again (even on a memorial), but you stop the guy who consistently does backflips as celebrations from doing a self proclaimed “crazy touchdown celebration”? I need this. I need to see what Tyreek had planned. I feel robbed. Release the Cheetah Cut.

Final Thoughts

I know it sounds crazy to ask for more like I’m Kylo Ren from a game that saw my heart rate maintain a 94-120 BPM through the last hour of the game. But do you know who else is crazy. KYLO REN. Never settle. Always ask for more, right? Isn’t that the American Way? Who am I kidding. This game was perfect, outside of the silly overtime rules, of course. But I’ll leave that for Skip and Shannon to yell and scream about.

The post As Great As The Chiefs Bills Divisional Playoff Game Was, Here’s How It Could Have Been Better appeared first on Korked Bats.

Last year it was all about collars. This year is all about dildos, I guess?

This might be a dumber decision than actually throwing a dildo on the field.

The post Well, We’re Doing It Again, I Guess appeared first on Korked Bats.

We have made it to one of my favorite days of the year–Thanksgiving. A day full of delicious food, football, and family. What’s not to love? Outside of maybe one of those (family…I’m talking about family. Thankfully, I no longer have to attend two Thanksgiving after my wife of 7 years left me for the delivery guy, but yeah family is what I meant there, so onward and upwards. I’m okay!).

Anyways, this is one of the best NFL days of the year. We get a full day of games on a Thursday. It’s also a great day to place bets. What’s that? You need help with the turkey? Sorry, have to watch my bets! Oh need help setting the table? Sorry I’m watching these games. It’s the perfect day to get into betting on football. It’s an even better day to win betting on football. There are three games, if we do our homework and pick each correctly that’s a mighty fine spread. Thanksgiving can be annoying, or lonely in my case, but making money makes it so much better. Let’s look at the picks!

Chicago Bears @ Detroit Lions Line: CHI -3

There is no tradition like the Lions losing on Thanksgiving. Year in and year out, we can count on that. But, McDude, the Nagy situation? No Justin Fields? Yeah yeah, I know. But Lions losing on Thanksgiving is tradition. To be honest, I feel better about the Bears with Andy Dalton under center. Am I crazy? Maybe. But I’m putting my money on tradition. Lions could never do it with Stafford and won’t with Goff…Boyle…or whoever they choose to start. Bears barely win. Without even looking at what the under is, I would probably take it in this one.

Pick: CHI -3 Bears 20 Lions 16

Las Vegas Raiders @ Dallas Cowboys Line: DAL -7.5

I was tempted to take the Raiders and the points here, but feel like it’s a good chance for “America’s Team” to prove their value on this holiday. The defense has improved and offense has weapons. Plus, the Raiders let the struggling Chiefs put up over 40 on them and I think the Cowboys can also beat them by a large margin. My money is on the Cowboys here to win big.

Pick: DAL -7.5 Cowboys 30 Raiders 20

Buffalo Bills @ New Orleans Saints Line: BUF -6

Who are the Bills? Who are the Saints? These two teams are hard to get a read on this year. The Bills offense and defense can be the best in the league, when they’re on. Then again…they can also lose to the worst teams any given Sunday. I don’t get it. The Saints defense remains one of the best in the NFL but they don’t have a quarterback, despite giving Taysom Hill a new contract every year. I don’t get it! The Bills should win this game. Will they? Who knows, but they should win this by at least a touchdown, even against a defense as skilled as the Saints.

Pick: BUF -6 Bills 27 Saints 20

Parlay: the favorites with spreads!

The post Korked Bets: NFL Thanksgiving Day appeared first on Korked Bats.

I actually don’t hate the take. Sure, it’s completely wrong. And Taylor Lewan doesn’t play for – nor has he ever played for – the Buffalo Bills, but you have to think that the reason the Bills lost this game was because they were missing him. Taylor Lewan is a 3-time Pro Bowler. You don’t think the Bills missed having him and his 6’7″, 310 lbs. ربح المال من الالعاب اون لاين frame out there on that final play? You bet your ass they did. Especially with Dawkins in there. Whoever that is!

Ok, I just looked it up. It appears to me that Dawkins is the Bills starting left tackle and has been since about 2017. In fact, I believe he’s caught a couple of touchdowns for the Buffalo Bills as well. بوكر حقيقي But still, who cares?! Not Chris Broussard! And ya know what? He’s right! The only reason the Bills lost this game is because Taylor Lewan went down with an injury and was nowhere to be found on that play. And hell, maybe if the Bills would’ve handed it off to their monster running back Derrick Henry, they would’ve gained that yard too. Why not try throwing a slant to their wideout A.J. Brown?! Every day fans don’t think about these aspects of the sport. And clearly neither did the Bills’ head coach Mike Vrabel. Just despicable, if you ask me.

Had Taylor Lewan not gone down with a concussion, and had Chris Broussard not seemingly get a concussion as well, then this take never would’ve made it to air. Sure, NBA analyst and reporter Chris Broussard might be preoccupied with the NBA starting back up today, but he still took time out of his day to prepare well-thought-out takes that no one else even thinks of. That’s dedication to the craft, and instead of ripping him today, we should be celebrating him. Chris Broussard, you are a take machine, and we are lucky to hear you on whatever FS1 show that will probably be canceled next year. العاب القمار اون لاين

The post Chris Broussard Delivers The Take of the Century, Saying The Bills Lost Because Their LT Taylor Lewan Was Injured And He’s Right! appeared first on Korked Bats.

So as I was analyzing these coaches, watching tape, taking notes, finding facts, and sizing them up, it struck me. We have 3 coaches named Sean currently in the NFL Playoffs. Does the NFL have a Sean problem or do Seans have an NFL problem? Remains to be seen. Sean’s are taking over the NFL.

Quite frankly, the world needs a Sean vs. Sean matchup. Whether it’s Sean McVay vs. Sean Payton in the NFC Championship or Sean McDermott vs. either of the NFC Sean’s in the Super Bowl. Our Sean cup would be overflowing with Sean. And joy.

This has to be the first time in NFL history that three Sean’s are in the NFL playoffs. When was the last time we had no Seans? Not to be confused with Knowshon [Moreno]. Geez I cramped up even typing that awful joke. But seriously. THREE SEAN’S! Not Shawn. Not Shaun. Sean!

I’ve been sitting here for the last couple days trying to figure out just where the Steelers went wrong last weekend. Despite the fact that Pouncey snapped the ball over Big Ben’s head with the first play of the game, I finally realized it was because the Steelers don’t have a head coach named Sean. So consider this me dropping a hint to the Steelers brass. We need a Sean in that locker room. I know Austin loves Mike Vrabel coaching the Titans, but given this recent discovery, I’m sure he would be willing to cut off his peen for a Sean Vrabel.

Hell, every locker room needs a Sean. So if you’re reading this, the world, in particular the NFL, needs more Sean’s, please name your kid Sean.

The post If You’re Reading This, Name Your Kid “Sean” appeared first on Korked Bats.

If you ask anyone about this game, they’ll say they were there. It’s one of those classic moments where everyone just claims to have been in attendance. Adelphia Coliseum (throwback) seats only 70,000 and yet 250,000 were somehow there.

With all that said, I was there. I promise.

If I was going to lie for the sake of a blog, I’d say something much cooler like I dated Jennifer Love-Hewitt in high school.

Which I did that too. I promise.

But attending this game was one of the most surreal days of my life. My dad and I would normally sit in Section 117, Row S, Seats 9 & 10. Those are where our season tickets are. However, for this game, my dad. got “company tickets” for the first time. So we gave our seats to friends (Titans fans – because there’s a special place in hell for people who give their tickets to fans of the opposing team, and that special place are not good seats either). and my dad and I sat in the Club Level right at the 50-yard-line. The best seats I’ve ever had (and probably ever will have) at a Titans game. It was incredible. Unfortunately, however, the game was not. It was cold, overcast, and extremely low scoring. Aside from Jevon Kearse sacking Rob Johnson in the endzone for a safety, there was very little excitement. I think I got a hot dog. Which was probably also exciting. But if we’re being honest, it would’ve been more exciting to have gotten a turkey leg from the in-stadium Logan’s Roadhouse.

I’ll never forget the end.

When Steve Christie kicked that field goal with :16 seconds left, the life was sucked out of the stadium for the first time all season. A season which included publications like Sports Illustrated and The Sporting News (it was not just still a thin back then, but it was a big thing) calling Adelphia the loudest stadium in the NFL. But at that moment it felt like a Vandy game. My dad turned to me and asked, “Do you want to go?” And as I watched a lot of people head of the exits, little dejected 7th grade Austin said, “No, let’s just stay.”

Aside from marrying my wife, that was the greatest decision of my life.

Because what happens next may shock you.

Lorenzo Neal fielded the pooch kickoff – which, I’m no football coach, but I played thru high school and enough into college to know that you probably don’t want your short, stocky fullback fielding kickoffs late in games. So that wasn’t a good first sign.

But then he handed it back to Frank Wycheck. Which, I guess, is better? This was like going from Justice League to Justice League: The Snyder Cut. Sure, it’ll be a little better, but not much. For as good of a tight end Wycheck was, I don’t think he has the same skillset as Devin Hester. So I didn’t feel much better about this revelation about him now returning the kick, and felt even worse when he started to run right.

But then turned and chucked the ball across the field. Jumpin’ M. Night Shyamalans! Nobody saw this plot twist coming. Most importantly the Bills special teams, because as Wycheck chucked it back to now-middle school principal Kevin Dyson, you could tell that “HE’S GOT SOMETHING!” And if you were listening to the radio broadcast that day, you could also probably also tell “HE’S GOT SOMETHING!” because that’s all Pat Ryan was screaming.

From my vantage point, which was essentially a bird’s eye view (not to brag) or the look you get from the all-22 (football guy), I could see the wall of blockers lined up. There wasn’t a chance he was getting touched, let alone tackled. And that’s when I started to get excited. Giddy, even. I may or not have shrieked like a 7th grade school girl. Which wasn’t far off, since I’m pretty sure I had either just hit or was currently going through puberty.

As I saw Kevin Dyson cross the goalline, I remember looking at the stands and seeing just a bunch of arms flailing in the air. I remember seeing people who were heading for the exits, sprint back to see what everyone was cheering about. I remember it vividly. Totally surreal moment.

As I’m sure you also knew, there were no flags on the field. But they did go under the hood to review it. And I remember telling my dad, “They have to uphold this or those refs won’t make it out of the stadium alive.” Let me reiterate. Me, a 7th grader from the suburbs of the very little crime-ridden city of Nashville, who’s testicles probably just dropped the day prior was predicting death for a referee if he overturned that play. Overreaction much? Sheesh. I must’ve been a damn psycho.

Obviously, it was not overturned. I know select Bills fans still claim it was a forward pass. But it’s cool. There are still people who think the moon landing was shot on a Hollywood backlot.

Anyway, happy Music City Miracle Day. I was there. I promise.

[divider][/divider]

Also, if you have some time, you NEED to watch this video of Jeff Fisher telling the story. He drops some nuggets for a play we thought we alread knew everything about.

The post 21 Years Ago Today, There Were “NO FLAGS ON THE FIELD!” appeared first on Korked Bats.