Earlier this week, EA Sports announced the return of their wildly successful college football video game franchise. This was obviously met with wild enthusiasm from the Internet as many of us have been unable to move on with our lives without a new version of that video game. Speaking from experience, my marriage has suffered. My work life has suffered. My social life has suffered. I’ve been unable to concentrate since Summer of 2013 when the last new game dropped.

Well, I’m happy to announce that all changed with a single tweet. When is the game coming? Who knows? But it’s coming. (Lol, it’s gonna suck if it takes 2-3 years for them to clear the hurdles for this game to be made).

But with the very idea of this game coming back, we made a video about what older guys who loved the game back in the day are probably saying now that it’s returning. Enjoy. And remember: it’s in the game.

The post VIDEO: Things Old Guys Said About The Return Of NCAA Football appeared first on Korked Bats.

Like many who grew up in the ’80s, I was given a Nintendo as a child. That singular gift from 1988 assured my transition into adulthood would come at the price of diminished societal interaction and general awkwardness. From humble beginnings with the 8-bit Nintendo Entertainment System, I played classics like Golf where you hit the links as a pissed off looking Mario on a rare off-day from fighting King Koopa and his legions of hapless minions, hell-bent on kidnapping Princess Peach.

Who could forget the legendary game Ice Hockey where you play four-on-four, and you can choose to play as one of 6 teams: USA, Sweden, Poland, Canada, Russia or Czechoslovakia (now the Czech Republic). There were no named players, nor did they wear numbers. You could assemble your four-man team with skinny, average and large players, each having specific strengths and weaknesses. Did I mention that Team Canada’s jerseys were bright green? Makes sense.

Double Dribble, a personal favorite of mine, was a basketball game with a fairly steep learning curve but chock full of exploitable bugs in the software. Another game without a league license allowed the player to choose from one of four teams: Boston, Chicago, New York and Los Angeles. No player names or numbers appear, but at least the team jersey colors are correct. The shooting was all based on timing of release and position on court. Two notable bugs in the programming would allow players to regularly drain 3-point shots from ¾ court if within the opponent’s free throw circle or the infamous “corner three” glitch that virtually guaranteed a made basket from the baseline corner. Peter Griffin made use of this glitch in an episode of “Family Guy”.

I’ve played sports video games for nearly 30 years; I thought I’d seen it all. At least until EA Sports decided that putting rap icon Snoop Dogg in the broadcast booth in NHL20 would somehow improve the game.

Of all the celebrity “guest announcers” they could choose from, Snoop D-O-double-gizzle was their choice. To quote Biff Tannen, “that makes about as much sense as a screen door on a battleship.” Don’t get it twisted, I’m a big Snoop Dogg fan. However, I don’t understand the need for EA to add him into the game. I got to thinking after sipping on some gin and juice and I thought, “why not help EA and offer some suggestions for other celebrity in-game appearances?”

MADDEN

Madden NFL games have sold millions of copies of the wildly popular game and throwing, say Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump in the broadcast booth, would make for an interesting bit of commentary.

Trump: “The Patriots scored a touchdown with that great run play, one of the greatest run plays, if I say so myself.”

Bernie: “That’s great Don, but the defense worked just as hard as the offense on that drive. They deserve some points too, let’s give them three and the offense can keep four. That’s fair”

Trump: “That’s fake rules, Bernie”

Bernie: “It’s not about rules, Don. It’s what’s fair and equitable.”

A Madden game featuring that dynamic duo would surely sell, right?

FIFA

The worldwide popular football (soccer) franchise is supported my millions of loyal footy fans. Let’s throw Ray Romano in the booth. Everybody loves Raymond, right? Just imagine the low, yet somehow nasally voice of Ray Romano making this exciting call, “he passes, he passes back, he passes over, he passes, he passes back, he passes across, he shoots, too high.” Or “The final whistle blows and our match has ended nil-nil. We’ll see you next time on EA’s FIFA.” I know, I know. Don’t rush out to buy the game yet, this is just a suggestion, remember?

NBA Live

EA’s NBA Live series could really use some star-studded power if it wants to compete with industry favorite NBA2K. Excitement, enthusiasm and something I’ve never heard in an NBA game is what it’s going to take to push EA’s NBA Live series to the next level. That’s right, I’m talking Oprah. Have you ever seen Oprah on TV? The media mogul produces more energy than the Hoover Dam. Who could forget the time in 2012 that she gave every person in her studio audience a brand-new Volkswagen Beetle? Oprah is the ultimate hype-woman and is just what the franchise needs to get players ready to hoop.

So there you have it, some food for thought, EA Sports. I’m more than willing to sit down and serve as a consultant for your game franchises. Let me know if you have any other ideas for celebrity announcers in sports games.

This post was written by Rich. Follow him: @636Rich

The post With Snoop Dogg in NHL20, Let’s Put Random Celebs In Other Sports Video Games appeared first on Korked Bats.

To be honest, this game seems a little tame for FIFA.

The post FIRST LOOK: The New Cover of FIFA ’16 appeared first on Korked Bats.

After finishing the season 2-14 and securing the #2 overall pick in the 2015 NFL Draft, the Tennessee Titans are just glad that anyone on their team is getting recognized for anything. “Frankly, we’re thrilled to actually have a Pro Bowler,” Titans GM Ruston Webster said. “We had no idea people even knew any of the players on our roster.”

Webster continued, “After the season we’ve had, we would’ve just accepted free tickets to the game or a Pro Bowl pennant or something. But having one of our players play in the game?!”

The Pro Bowl officials later clarified that no one said anything about a Titans player playing in the game. He was just voted onto the roster. Since he’s a Tennessee Titan, he’ll probably ride the bench the while game. Although, the fact that he’s a Titan doesn’t negate that fact that he’s had a great season. “It’s hard to argue voting Madden’s Mini Linebacker into the Pro Bowl,” Titans head coach Ken Whisenhunt said. “He put up video game-like numbers this year.”

Madden’s Mini Linebacker is the second Titans Pro Bowler in as many years and is the second shortest Pro Bowler this season, behind only the Eagles’ Darren Sproles.

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post Madden’s Mini Linebacker Named Titans’ Only Pro Bowler appeared first on Korked Bats.

On a mobile phone? Watch the video here.

Maybe now Landon can play online against Jozy Altidore… Too soon? مراهنات على كرة القدم

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post Landon Donovan Pokes Fun At His World Cup Exclusion In This Ad [VIDEO] appeared first on Korked Bats.

The Madden Curse comes up each year, the idea that whomever is placed on the cover of Madden that year will suffer through a jinxed year. President Obama contacted Madden about utilizing the curse last week, and hopes that the Madden Curse will continue its reign of terror now on Gaddafi. Obama is optimistic that this year’s curse will be an “extra cursey one,” even going as far as to say he hopes the Madden Curse “makes Gaddafi break his ankle and miss weeks of killing innocent civilians, and maybe he has less passing yards.”

Note: Others also considered for Madden 2012 Cover were Osama Bin Laden and Tim Tebow.

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EA Sports is resurrecting the heralded game, bringing it to the Wii, PS3 and XBOX360 via a couple of different mediums. NBA Jam will release on the Nintendo Wii and the arcade game will be bundled into NBA Elite 11 for Playstation3 and XBOX360.

If you’re unfamiliar with NBA Jam, it’s a two on two basketball format with fantastically exceptional, impossible dunks. Players have the ability to “catch on fire” if they score three successive times against their opponent. Pure. Addictive. Fun. For years fans have continued to hang on to their versions on the SNES or Sega Genesis, N64, etc. روليت للايفون ; Now, finally, there will be an updated version with updated rosters. A bit about the new game:

-Players of the game choose a team of 2 based on rosters of 4-6 players per team

-Teams will be made up of 3 or 4 current players and at least one “legendary” player

-NBA Players appearing on the original 1993 version are given precedence in terms of being legends

-Hidden players will exist (Speculation that Shaq is one of this unlockables)

-No MJ, he’s tied up with a different NBA game being released this year.

What does this mean?

Well, for one, the Miami Heat won’t be unstoppable. Every team can try and build its own version of today’s Miami Heat, mixing players past and present.

So, on to my task: I’ve decided to give a bit of team by team analysis in the upcoming days, letting everyone know best matchups, player choices, and how to destroy your opponent. لعبة القمار ورق Watch for those posts later today, upcoming days and so forth.

Jam on.

The post NBA Jam Returns: BOOMSHAKALAKA! appeared first on Korked Bats.

“EA SPORTS: It’s in the game!”

For those of you who want to become a highly paid voice actor one day or want to be the voice of so many video games, like the “EA Sports: It’s in the game” guy, listen to this short tutorial and who knows? Maybe you could be the next great voice. Unless of course you sound like Rosie O’Donnell.

Listen To This:

The post How To Correctly Say EA Sports appeared first on Korked Bats.

One of the commonly talked about aspects of NCAA Football ’11 is the fact that passing has improved from the games in years past. Which is kind of ironic when you think about it since, Tim Tebow is on the cover. But that is neither here nor there.

However, if you don’t care to see the “I will rip your beating heart out of your chest, take three bites of it, and then spit it out on your newborn baby before punting said baby into a blender” aggression that is Tim Tebow on your cover of the game, you could always head down south to Tuscaloosa, Alabama, home of the University of Alabama Crimson Tide. At the GameStop in Tuscaloosa, store owners decided to make their own special cover and slip it into all copies of the game to reminisce on the conclusion of the SEC Championship.

Of course, after your done at GameStop, swing by the local Wal-Mart to get a good look of the National Championship Trophy.

The post Fun And (Video) Games appeared first on Korked Bats.

This guy is my hero.

No, that picture wasn’t taken at at the annual “Wear Your Favorite Team’s Jersey” party put on by Geek Squad for it’s employees. It’s Trevor Winter, and I want to be him. Believe it or not, Trevor did actually play for the Minnesota Timberwolves. Not only did he play, he managed to set an NBA record that will probably never be touched in just 5 total minutes of play. In a game against the Los Angeles Lakers during the lockout-shortened 1999 season, Mr. Winter amassed 5 fouls in those 5 minutes, all on the Shaqtus. He was deactivated after the game. Trevor is now a medical salesman. I’d buy a stethoscope from him.

One of the two video games I still play is being discontinued. Great.

I guess this is God’s way of telling me, “Hey Frank, you graduated college. You still live in you’re mother’s basement. Grow up.” In a move that looks to be an obvious reaction to growing legal concerns over the apparently illegal realism NCAA video games have been able to reach, EA Sports has announced that they “do not have an NCAA Basketball game in development at this time”. This probably doesn’t mean much to all you ‘gamers’ out there as this wasn’t an overly popular series. But to people like me who aren’t skilled enough to play all those shoot-em-up games you kids are playing these days, like Call of Duty and Halo, this officially cuts my game selection in half (stay strong NCAA Football). I really would like to give a roundhouse kick (then run away as fast as I can and hope they’re slow) to the face of all the whining student athletes who are trying to claim royalty and ruining my video game life. Is it not enough that you’re in a video game that millions of people play without even using the “Create A Player” feature? I’d consider my life a success if I was so fortunate.

Sometimes people just say dumb things.

Here’s an actual quote by the head coach of the great 13-11 UNC Tar Heels, Roy Williams, from the other day:

“Our massage therapist told me, ‘You know, coach, what happened in Haiti is a catastrophe. What you’re having is a disappointment.’ I told her that depends on what chair you’re sitting in. It does feel like a catastrophe to me, because it is my life.”

Well, that was sufficiently stupid. I wonder if he compared losing the 2003 National Championship to the terrorist attacks of 9/11. Get some perspective Roy.

The post Let Me Be Frank With You… appeared first on Korked Bats.