With Urban Meyer officially being named as the new head coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars, it’s time we revisit The Urban Meyer Cycle. Every four years or so, we have to deal with it. Like a leap year. But credit to Urban, he stays on schedule. Glad he was able to get a minute or two with his family before the most recent FS1 gig. Also, don’t forget the heart.

Not sure how many times we’ll go through the cycle before we figure this thing out, but it feels very similar to that loser Charlie Brown trying to kick a field goal. Hopefully, one day teams will learn that at best all you’ll get out of Urban is a few good years before he gone.

Also, shoutout to Pick Six Pod… this is pretty solid.

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Lol. Remember when Florida Gators DB Marco Wilson chucked a shoe? No, I’m serious. It really happened. A guy took off his opponent’s shoe and then chucked it 20 yards down the field. An incredible moment in not just college football, but SEC football. We’ll all remember where we were on the night of the shoe toss heard round the world. We took that play (and really the end of the game) and decided to break it down in our latest Breakdown video. Let this be a lesson to all inspiring college football players. Don’t throw shoes.

To watch more Breakdown videos, click here.

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Urban Meyer has assured teams that he is unhealthy enough to return to coaching, and eventually quit at the first sign of something going wrong.

“I’m excited to start a new coaching venture,” Meyer said. “…for a couple of years before I inexplicably quit for ‘health reasons.’”

Meyer assured reporters that his heart is unhealthy enough to cause more problems within the next few years, depending on how things go.

When asked if he will miss spending time with his family, Meyer replied, “Who?”

The drama queen then added, “Oh, my family. Right. All this time I haven’t spent with them while working as an analyst has been taxing on them, I’m sure. But at least soon I will be back to coaching and will get to spend even less time with them.

“To me there’s nothing more important than family,” Meyer said. “Except for coaching, recruiting, TV work, public appearances, getting my car washed, filming commercials, covering up domestic assault cases… You know, the usual stuff.”

It is still unknown which coaching route Urban Meyer will pursue next, college or the pros. He could potentially take a college job for a few years, win a national championship or two, and then bounce out like he’s dodging NCAA allegations or something, or he could take a job with the Redskins, fail to produce a winning record for a couple of seasons, fake a heart attack, and resign before Dan Snyder can fire him.

Another route Meyer could go is voluntarily serve as a flag football coach in a Florida state penitentiary, considering most of the players he coached at Florida are currently on that team.

“Ever since I was a kid, it has been my dream to one day coach the next team I’m going to coach,” Meyer said as if he was rehearsing a pre-planned speech. When asked what team that may be, Meyer replied, “Oh, I have no idea. But it’s been a lifelong dream of mine.”

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Maybe their head coach is actually the home plate? In which case, it was a perfect dump!

The post Florida Softball Tries To Dump Cooler On Coach, Fail [VIDEO] appeared first on Korked Bats.

Will Muschamp has been fired by the Florida Gators after leading his team to the worst season in Florida history since that one winter when it almost snowed. Muschamp was 27-20 in four seasons as the Gators head coach, which is the equivalent to winning the National Championship to Arkansas fans right now. However, keep in mind than one of those 20 losses came to Georgia Southern… at home. How does that happen? I mean, technically, isn’t Georgia Southern just Florida?

While Florida gets back to teaching their players how to block players on the other team, we went ahead and made their job easier by naming 15 potential candidates for them to consider.

Steve Spurrier

Every legend needs a reunion tour, and what better way to kick off a reunion tour than a 23-20 overtime win in Gainesville? Also, there’s like five golf courses in and around Gainesville. It’s a perfect fit.

Charlie Weis

Charlie is familiar with the folks at Florida, as he was the team’s offensive coordinator — using “offensive” in the sense that it was offensive that they called him a coordinator, because his “offense” finished 102nd nationally. But all of that is in the past! Weis moved on to Kansas where he won 6 games in two and a half seasons, which may not seem impressive, but he didn’t lose to Georgia Southern at home. Also, there’s like seven buffets in and around Gainesville. It’s a perfect fit.*

* – The first time anything has fit on Charlie Weis.

Mack Brown

Will Muschamp patiently hung around Texas after being named “coach-in-waiting” for when Mack Brown retired. How ironic would it be if Mack Brown ended up being the “coach-in-waiting” at Florida?

(pic via @nick_pants)

Urban Meyer

Because Urban is probably feeling a bit like Mischa Barton after she left The O.C. for her “movie career.” Barton was quickly building a dynasty with The O.C., but died after season 3. Meyer was quickly building a dynasty with Florida, but nearly died (read: stepped down for health issues) after season 6. Not to mention, one could argue that Mischa Barton’s failed movie career schedule is tougher than Ohio State’s football schedule. In addition, ever since Urban Meyer left, Florida just hasn’t had that same killer instinct.

Bob Stoops

When Bob Stoops eventually loses at home to Vanderbilt, like Muschamp accomplished in 2013, its unlikely Bob will continue his “SEC is top-heavy” campaign. However, maybe this would be the second step in Bob’s overall plan? With his brother at Kentucky and him taking the job at Florida, they would only need 12 more Stoops to take over every SEC team and tank the conference into the ground… Just like Bob would want. *dun dun dunnnnn*

Jesse Palmer

Jesse Palmer would be a sexy hire. Not necessarily because he would make a great head coach, but mainly because he’s just the sexiest candidate. Not to mention, hiring an extremely attractive former quarterback alum would be huge for a program. Just ask Texas Tech and their 3 wins this season! Plus, since he used to be ABC’s The Bachelor, he could give roses to top recruits.

Super Creepy Rob Lowe

Super Creepy Rob Lowe has cable. Will Muschamp has a few episodes of Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper on VHS. While Super Creepy Rob Lowe hangs out at the rec center to watch folks swim, Will Muschamp irons his socks in public. Don’t be like Will Muschamp, hire Super Creepy Rob Lowe.

Cris Collinsworth

Cris Collinsworth is a Florida alumn, and if they could get him to commentate the games from the sidelines while coaching, it would probably lull the opposition to sleep, and boom… A win for the Gators.

Lou Holtz

Shoush Carolina already hash your leshendary head coash, why not take one of theirsh? It only makesh shensh.

Lou Holtsh would help water the grash in The Shwamp, too!

Erin Andrews

Erin Andrews is a Florida alum. She spends most of time on the sidelines already. Plus, she’s a lot easier on the eyes than almost any candidate on this list.**

** – You’re only kidding yourself if you don’t think Jesse Palmer is the most attractive name on this list.

Tallahassee Police Chief

Why not? No matter how bad things got under his watch as Florida head coach, he’d cover it up.

Tim Tebow

Florida fans began taking up praying this season, when they would pray for Will Muschamp to be fired. Now, that they’ve seen the power of prayer firsthand, they’re ready to welcome back Mr. Tebow.

Gill Busscramp

Florida keeps getting calls from a lesser-known coordinator named Gill Busscramp. At first, Florida figured it was just a prank call, but when the caller screamed, “I WILL MURDER YOUR FIRST BORN IF YOU HANG UP THIS CALL!” the Gators decided to at lease give the guy an interview.

Lane Kiffin

Because hiring a coordinator worked out so well last time… But on the contrary, Lane Kiffin actually won a game as the head coach of the Oakland Raiders, which, judging by this season, is incredibly hard to do. Plus, he is primarily responsible for sending Tennessee into the 5-year tailspin that they’re just now recovering from, so Florida should, at least, hire Lane Kiffin as a huge thank you.

A bagel

Because even a bagel probably wouldn’t have lost at home to Georgia Southern.

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Check out Will Muschamp’s Résumé here.

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post 15 Potential Replacements For Will Muschamp appeared first on Korked Bats.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post Sports Halloween Costumes appeared first on Korked Bats.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post Will Muschamp’s Résumé appeared first on Korked Bats.

It sucks even worse to be a Will Muschamp.

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post PICTURE: Things Are Getting Bad At Florida appeared first on Korked Bats.

The SEC Network has launched. That noise you hear is the entire southeast of the country chanting, “S-E-C, N-E-T!” They don’t finish spelling ‘network’ in their chant, because most of them don’t know how.

The channel has multiple programs to cover just about every sport from all 14 SEC schools. However, not all of the originally scheduled shows will make it to air. Luckily, we obtained a list and have the failed ideas here for you.

These are the SEC Network’s Shows You WON’T See:

Almost 60 Minutes with Nick Saban

This is the SEC Network’s 59-minute and 59-second evening news program. Could going for it with 1-second left in a tie game against your arch-rival kill you? We’ll tell you tonight at 11.

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Alfred Gamecock Presents

This show features a collection of horror stories from South Carolina. Basically, every episode is just 30 minutes of Marcus Lattimore’s knee injury on repeat.

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The West Win

This Aaron Sorkin produced drama is all about the politics behind Auburn’s road to their 2013 SEC West and eventual SEC Championship. However, the show was quickly cancelled due to most Alabamans being unable to keep up with the fast-paced Sorkin dialogue.

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Are You Afraid of the Starkville?

This suspenseful show tells the tales of horrific true stories about college athletes being bored out of their minds in Starkville, Mississippi.

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The Price Is Right with Cecil Newton

Cam Newton’s father, Cecil, hosts this popular game show, as various SEC head coaches go head-to-head to bid on the best recruits.

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Saving Grass

This drama follows Les Miles and his pursuit to keep various people from tearing up beautiful and delicious grass fields. It’s as weird as it sounds.

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Tailgate Is Enough

This sitcom revolves around a family of Ole Miss fans and how they’re content with having the nation’s best tailgating. The moral being that as long as you have great family, good friends, and a couple of brewskies, you don’t need a good football team to be semi-happy.

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Eastbound and Down

This comedy documents Tennessee’s fall from a perennial SEC East juggernaut to well… Whatever it is Derek Dooley left them as.

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I Love Losing

This classic sitcom focuses on Wildcat, Kentucky’s mascot, and how everything seems to go wrong for him.

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Downton Flabbey

This is a reality show to see what happens when you lock a shirtless Steve Spurrier inside a British castle.

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Man vs. Wild with Mark Richt and Will Muschamp

This reality show follows Mark Richt as he prepares for battle versus raging psycho Will Muschamp. Just like the real Man vs. Wild, sometimes they’re forced to drink their own urine. Well, they’re not really forced to, Muschamp just does it on his own.

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This comedy follows a bubbly, young Mizzou as she moves in to a conference with 13 other men. Who knows? Maybe Mizzou will date Ole Miss before the season finale?

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Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader? – SEC Fan Edition

In a word, no.

(h/t: @CaptTouchback)

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CSI: Southeastern Conference

This crime drama was cancelled from the SEC Network, because they don’t want anyone investigating anything in the SEC.

(h/t: @CaptTouchback)

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How I Met Your Mother Who Is Also My Cousin

We watched the series finale, and trust me, you don’t want to know.

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Big Blue Chips

This an SEC Network made-for-TV movie about Kentucky’s basketball program and how they’ll pull in the nation’s best recruits at any cost. The keyword there being cost.

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The Good Wife

This drama follows the life of a bitter wife of a college head coach who has too much time on her hands and way too many Twitter followers.

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 Baseketball

This SEC Network made-for-TV is all about Vanderbilt combining the only two sports they’re traditionally good at.

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The Walking Dead

This is the 2013 Arkansas Football Highlights. It consists of three plays.

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 PAWWWWL & Order

This show is just like Law & Order, only Paul Finebaum is the cop and all of the crimes are about poisoning trees and stuff.

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The Bernie Mac Show

This is just reruns of The Bernie Mac Show starring Texas A&M Head Coach Bernie Mac.

Say Yes To The Les

This is literally just a show of Les Miles trying on wedding dresses.

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Check out our 2014 SEC Preview where we Ask Siri for the answers

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post SEC Network Shows You WON’T See appeared first on Korked Bats.

We figured we’d go ahead and make some College Football Playoff bracket predictions before the season even begins, and like just about everyone during March Madness, we filled out multiple prediction brackets.

Our Money Bracket

This bracket is made up of the four teams that will probably coast through their regular season schedules unscathed. Going into the year, these teams are the four best.

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Our Impermissible Money Bracket

This bracket features four teams that have been caught or that have allegedly granted money and/or gifts to their players. We figure, if you’re going to pay players, pay them well enough that they get you a national championship. Or in Oklahoma State’s case, at least get you to a national championship.

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Our Fail-Safe Bracket

This bracket is our fail safe bracket. Like when you pick all #1 seeds in your March Madness bracket, in this bracket, we pick all Not-Notre Dames. 

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Our Suck it Bob Stoops Bracket

The SEC doesn’t appear so top-heavy now, does it, Stoops?!

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Our Lane Kiffin Bracket

This is just a melting pot of all of Lane Kiffin’s former (and current) teams. Not sure who would win, but pretty sure Lane Kiffin would get killed. Also, the Raiders.

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Our Reptile House Bracket

If the Reptile House at your local zoo all turned on each other, it would be this College Football Playoff bracket.

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Our Dick Vitale Bracket

This would be Dick Vitale’s dream come true.

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Our 9-Year-Old Kid Bracket

Heh… Heh… It spells “poop.”

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Our College Football Scandal Bracket

This bracket features UNC athletes getting an F (without help from tutors, of course), and Penn State preying on Miners.

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Check out the 2014 Korked Bats College Football Preseason Top 25

Check out Our Thoughts On The New CFB Playoff Trophy

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post College Football Playoff Bracket Predictions appeared first on Korked Bats.