This is what he said in response to the biggest fine he ever got:

“The G-est thing Mike Tomlin ever did, he handed me an envelope after that. I ain’t going to say what, but he handed me an envelope after that.”

The “that” Harrison is referring to is the hit that occurred during the 2010 Steelers-Browns game, which resulted in a 28-10 Steelers win. Late in the 2nd quarter, the revolving door that is the Browns quarterback, Colt McCoy threw a pass across the middle to Mohammed Massaquoi, only to be met forcefully by James Harrison. While the play was not flagged on the field, Harrison received a hefty fine of $75,000 (which was later reduced to $50,000) from the league. It was this fine that allegedly led to Coach Tomlin “handing” Harrison an envelope.

Regardless of the validity of James Harrison’s story, we started to wonder what MAY have been in this alleged envelope.

• two tickets to paradise
  • That hit was so vicious that Coach Tomlin wanted to make sure Harrison could get out of the country, if necessary.

• Box Tops for Education
  • Coach Tomlin, like every great coach, is always looking out for his players’ families. Harrison’s kids were able to raise a whopping $22 for education from 220 Box Tops!

• The whereabouts of Tupac Shakur
  • We all know he’s not dead.

• The answer to who killed Kennedy
  • One of life’s greatest mysteries but Coach Tomlin had the answer and felt like he just had to share it.

• The 2011 Oscar Winners
  • Coach Tomlin, a known movie buff, got the inside info on Best Picture winner The King’s Speech and couldn’t keep the secret to himself. Fortunately, it was the correct envelope.

• Stamps
  • Coach Tomlin, an avid stamp collector, gifted Harrison a portion of his stamp collection. What good is an envelope without some stamps?

• The two tickets Harrison left for his dad at Will Call
  • Tomlin: “He just never showed up, James… I’m sorry.”

• An invoice from Goodell
  • The league acted fast after the hit and had the fine handed down from the HQ immediately after the game. Coach Tomlin was simply the liaison.

Don’t worry, though. James Harrison has since defended Coach Tomlin against… ummm… his own claims?

Wow y’all really comparing what I said to BOUNTYGATE?!? Mike T. Has NEVER paid me for hurting someone or TRYING to hurt someone or put a bounty on ANYBODY! If you knew the full story of what happened back then you’d know that BS fine for a Legal Play wasn’t even penalized during the game. The league was getting pressure because the first concussion lawsuits were starting and they had to look like they cared about player safety all of a sudden. Before that they had been SELLING a photo of THAT SAME PLAY FOR $55 on the NFL website with other videos of the NFL’S GREATEST HITS that the league Profited On back then. When the league had to start pretending like they cared about player safety they took all those things down off their website and they started fining guys ridiculous amounts for the same plays they used to profit off of. EVERYBODY knew it – even these same media people and all the fans that were sending money to me and the team to cover the fine. AGAIN AT NO TIME did Mike T. EVER suggest anybody hurt anybody or that they’d be rewarded for anything like that. GTFOH with that BS!!!

#receipts

So, um, sorry, Mr. Harrison, but one quick follow up… what WAS in the envelope?

The post What Exactly Was In The “Envelope” Mike Tomlin Gave To James Harrison? appeared first on Korked Bats.

Multiple reports coming out of the Goodell household say that on top of being fined $750, Allison will be suspended from watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians for up to eight weeks, which is actually a good thing.

Allison has released a statement through her agent, Drew Rosenhaus:

“This is seriously so freaking stupid. I mean double-you tee-eff dad? I thought you were the cool parent. Oh-Em-Eff-Gee this is ridick.”

Her statement, which was written in the back seat of her own personal limousine, continued:

“At least I still have my iPhones. But my life is SO UNFAIR I can’t stand it. I’m going to totally make out with James Harrison.”

Rosenhaus, who is notoriously a huge ass, says they will appeal both the fine and suspension, calling them “stupid, petty” and “really not that big of a deal in the big picture of things, since I will still be rich either way.”

This isn’t the first time Goodell has fined one of his own family members. Back in 2009 he fined his wife, former FOX News Channel anchor Jane Skinner, $1,300 for “hitting the hay early” one night when Goodell was feeling frisky. He also fined his uncle $20 for hitting a puppy that was seemingly doing nothing, which seemed to not be a very large fine for hitting a puppy.

No word from James Harrison on the matter.

The post Roger Goodell Fines Daughter for Hitting Books Too Hard appeared first on Korked Bats.

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Just when I thought Tom Brady couldn’t get any gayer…

He goes and does something like this, and TOTALLY…confirms it.

No, I’m not going to talk about his model shots for Stetson Cologne. I just typed in “Tom Brady Gay” and that’s what I found. I’m not even going to talk about his current haircut that rivals Justin Beiber’s as the most ridiculous pretty-man-hair in pop culture today.

This one tops them all.

Tom Brady is the new spokesman for UGG Boots. And I’m not making this up. In a statement released yesterday, Brady said,

“I have worn and loved the UGG brand for a long time. This collaboration gives me an opportunity to work with a leading global brand with a great history and a true vision for the future of its men’s collection. It’s an exciting time to be part of the UGG Australia team.”

So, not only is Brady selling his manhood to UGG, he also admitted to wearing UGGs “for a long time”. I wonder if he wears them with black tights and these shorts (Which, by the way, I am convinced there is not one female college student in America who doesn’t own those dadgum shorts in some color. Seriously, if you’re lucky enough to still be in college count how many of those you see on the way to class. They’re so “in” right now.)

But back to Tom Brady being far too gay to be married to this. He might as well start endorsing Stayfree Maxi Pads, Lifetime: Television for Women, and bobby pins. Actually, I think Jeff Garcia called shotty on those three.

Wait a second, there’s more!

While I was looking into the whole UGG Boot situation, I came across another reason to make fun of Tom Brady. And once again, this picture has nothing to do with it. I just felt obliged to use it.

The National Enquirer reported that Brady’s car was spotted outside Leonard Hair Transplant Associates in Cranston, R.I., on Nov. 9. That would be the office of Dr. Robert Leonard, described on his website as “New England’s foremost authority on hair restoration.”

“A lot of people think only women have a bad hair day, but men can be affected just as much,” celebrity hairstylist Michael Shaun Corby said. “Men have the same problems, they just don’t feel attractive if they don’t have a good hair day.”

Tom, please stop.

Seriously James Harrison, learn a lesson.

I don’t have much of an opinion on the new rules aimed at protecting players in the NFL. Sure, I’d like to see big hits and feel like the rules are taking a lot out of the game, but I’m also not one of the ones out there getting my brain damaged by 275 lb. men. In any case, I do have an opinion on one thing. James Harrison is an idiot. Harrison was fined $25,000 this week for the helmet to helmet hit on Ryan Fitzpatrick pictured above. If I’m not mistaken, this is Harrison’s 948th fine of the 2010 season. His current fine total on the year is $125,000.

Look, we get it, you’re a hard hitter James. We’ve known that for the seemingly 20 years you’ve been in the league. Now, is it THAT hard to stop pulverizing people’s skulls?

Assuming the commercials are right and it is possible to feed a starving child in Africa for just $0.15 a day, he could pay for over 2,283 years worth of meals for one child. So, let’s pretend Jesus was an African child. The amount of money spent by James Harrison in bonehead fines this season alone could have fed Jesus for another 200 something years if he was still walking this earth (in the human form). Am I taking this too far? OK, I’ll shut up and let this guy talk:

This guy should have never resigned.

Meet Bob Green, an NAIA football coach who resigned a few weeks back. Old news? Maybe. But definitely worth a watch. This guy is going to be such an awesome grandpa, if he isn’t already one.

How is “Cooler Than Me” still a popular song?

This really baffles me. The first time I heard the song I kind of felt embarrassed for the guy singing because it was such a horrible song with even more horrible lyrics. I’m going to go ahead and say whoever Mike Posner is talking about in the song probably IS cooler than him. Look at him. He’s a Caucasian Duke graduate who is trying to make it as a hip hop artist. The sad thing about humanity is, he is making it as a Caucasian Duke graduate hip hop artist.

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