Cody Bellinger was recently placed on the Cubs injured list, which is weird, because I didn’t think the Cubs could put a Los Angeles Dodger on the IL. WHAAAAA?!

Yes, Cody is still a Dodger. Not my words. Those are the words of his Twitter bio… which I’m pretty sure is the most binding documentation in all of sports. So naturally, over the past month or so on Twitter, we have documented every day Cody has failed to update his Twitter. Why? First off: why not? People need to know. And second: we’re a dumb sports blog. What else are we going to do with our time?

Now you may be one who says “Who the hell cares?! He’s a Major League Baseball player. He has a few bigger things to worry about than updating his social media platforms” or “He clearly doesn’t live on the internet like you” or “Why did I even click on this link to read this?” If you are thinking any (or all) of these, then you must be as cool as JonnyCoolGuy, who apparently is not as cool of a guy as his Twitter name suggests.

“Who cares” Guy on the Internet is always my favorite. Especially on viral tweets. The irony is so clearly lost on them. But when the “who cares” comes from someone named JonnyCoolGuy, it does make you take a step back and wonder… wait, who DOES care?! Not only did JonnyCoolGuy unfollow us for a single (albeit consistent) tweet, he also hit us with the block.

More like JonnySavageGuy, amirite?! Dude’s clearly pissed that Cody Bellinger is still a Dodger. And judging by his profile picture of the centerfield scoreboard of Wrigley Field, it makes sense.

Anyway, please DO NOT tweet at JonnyCoolGuy and let him know that Cody Bellinger still hasn’t updated his Twitter bio. And that today is May 23rd.

The post To Us, Cody Bellinger Is Still A Los Angeles Dodger Because His Twitter Bio Says So appeared first on Korked Bats.

I used to think stadium proposals were the lamest form or proposal. Until I saw this dude hop the fence and do his stadium proposal ON THE FIELD! The guy became an instant legend with instant CTE after getting sacked into the left centerfield turf. We decided to break this thing down. And make sure to watch till the end to see an interview with the happy (and partly-concussed couple)!

The post VIDEO: A Breakdown of That Crazy Guy Proposing On The Field At Dodger Stadium appeared first on Korked Bats.

Trying something new with a series called Surfs Up where we surf the internet and tackle things you may not have seen (unless you have). Let us know what you think.

The post Here Are Some Things On The Internet You May Have Missed (Or Not) appeared first on Korked Bats.

Having a hard time trying to come up with the most topical way to show how much I love these 2022 MLB All-Star Game lids. I’m feeling some sort of blend between “flame emojis” and “chef’s kiss.” These things are incredible. Especially for a sporting event where they’re more swing and a miss than actually nailing it. NewEra has been well below the Mendoza line for most of their All-Star Game cap-making days. If they were on your fantasy team, they would’ve spent every year on the trading block before you just decided to drop them for a weak-armed backup utility infielder.

I mean, just look at these things…

Of course, the All-Star Game hosted by LA got it right. And look, I don’t want to come across as biased here. But to me, it makes sense that the All-Star Game held in Los Angeles would have the most stylish lids for their event. But I say this pretty objectively, based solely on how LA does baseball. (Not LA fans, but rather just LA.) From Dodger Stadium to the in-game presentation to everything else included in the package that is baseball in LA. If you’ve been to a game at Chavez Ravine, you know what I’m talking about. And on top of that, LA is one of the fashion capitals of the world. So of course they’re going to have some of the freshest looks.

Again, I say all this with very little knowledge of what all goes into the process of designing every year’s ASG caps. So I could be way off. But these just feel Hollywood.

Now, I could maybe do without the mesh back, but look, let’s take what we can get. We’ve seen some of the ideas – especially on hats – that New Era has literally thrown up, and for right now, this design is a win. It’s simplistic. It’s classy. The colors are great. Unless you’re an overly sensitive Dodgers beat blogger.

The only other thing you can maybe complain about is the price. These things clearly come with Los Angeles property taxes as well. $47.99 for a lid. That’s right. Half a hundo for one cap. It’s a little absurd. Especially since it’s an All-Star Game cap. A one time/one year use hat. After this year, you’re going to have that dated patch on the side of your dome, all the while being $50 poorer. Woof. Inflation am I right? But I guess in downtown LA, you can take your pick between one Dodgers All-Star game lid or one gallon of gas.

The post In A Year That Has Been So Improbable, The Impossible Has Happened: MLB Actually Made Cool All-Star Game Caps appeared first on Korked Bats.

You know the expression, “Act like you’ve been there before.” The Pirates clearly have not.

Look, I’m all for a team talking trash online. They walked the walk, now talk the talk. But this might be the most the Pirates have tweeted after a win… possibly ever. The Buccos were feeling themselves. And why shouldn’t they? For all I care (and Pittsburghers should care), the Pirates season is over. They’ve won it all. And they should parade across the Roberto Clemente Bridge. Hell, call up Jostens and get them some rings. This is the Pirates’ World Series. The team with an Aldi budget beat the team with the Top Gun: Maverick budget. Moneyball wins again. And by Moneyball, I mean Refuse To Spend Any Moneyball. And for that reason, they should just hang it up now. Go out on top. Because this series win does nothing but show those penny-pinching front office fun killers that when you refuse to spend it can pay off for one series a year!

So talk your talk, @Pirates social team. Because your franchise refuses to give one of the best sports cities in America a good baseball product. You already went through 21 years of playoff drought, and now it appears your actively working on the next 21-year drought. But hey, at least you got off some well-timed Spongebob Memes after beating the best team in the NL! Nevermind the fact the rest of the summer will be filled with low-budget medocrity. Nevermind the fact one of the best stadiums in baseball has seen only 5 playoff games in its 21-year existence (most of which were Wild Card games). Nevermind all the bad. DID YOU SEE THEY BEAT THE DODGERS?!

For the first time since 2000, they swept them in Los Angeles! Wait, sorry, LOSS Angeles! #sickburn

I get angry when I think about just how dominant the Pirates could be if they just had good ownership. But instead, we have to hope to see if they sweep one good team a year to see any baseball life come out of the Steel City. Hell, can you even name a single Pirate? Can anyone in Pittsburgh name a single Pirate? You want baseball to get back to popularity? Give incredible sports markets like the Burgh a winning product, and I assure you it would lift the buzz for the entire city. More than just a few June retweets.

The post The Pirates Won Their First World Series Since 1979 By Sweeping The Dodgers In Early June appeared first on Korked Bats.

Big day for Hankook tires, amirite?! Clayton Kershaw, arguably the greatest pitcher of our generation, kicked off his 2022 season (his 15th season!) with quite possibly the greatest start of his career. Through 7 innings, he was mowing down twins harder than the dude who sung that Coors Light jingle back in the day. Thirteen (13!) strikeouts. His career-high is 15. And most of all, he didn’t allow a base runner through 7 innings. He was perfect. In his first start of the year. In a day and age where LeBron is still posting triple-doubles at 37, Tom Brady is throwing for 5000+ yards at 42, and Albert Pujols is still playing at 56, it’s awesome to see Clayton Kershaw still dominating at 34.

But what wasn’t awesome was Kershaw getting pulled from the game before being given the chance to finish his perfecto. That sucked. But…… [long pause] I get it.

The Dodgers only led 3-0 with six outs to go, so you might see why Dave Roberts was thinking win over history. But then, as if the universe wasn’t hoping for Kershaw to finish the job, immediately after Dave told Kersh he was yanking him, the bottom three guys in their lineup went back-to-back-to-back to pad the lead to 6-0. Because of course.

Would I have liked to see Kershaw finish what he started or at very least try to? قوانين البلاك جاك Of course. But aside from history, what the hell does a perfect game in the second week of April do to benefit the Dodgers? They’re not playing for individual accomplishments, they want a World Series. Kershaw knows that more than anyone. And if you leave Kershaw out to pitch more in his first start of the season, in a cold-weather game (high never reached 40 degrees in Minneapolis), after a shortened spring training, you run a major risk of injuring one of the best pitchers in your rotation, a guy who has suffered from lingering back issues and failed to reach 30 starts since 2015.

He was 80 pitches and I guarantee the plan going into the game was not to pitch more than 75 for a guy like Kershaw.

It was the right call.

And it sucks.

Both can be true.

For a likable guy like Kershaw (one of the few on the evil empire that is becoming the Dodgers), it sucks to not see him *potentially* reach history. Especially considering he’s never pitched a perfecto in his career and only has his lone no-no in 2014. If only this start could’ve come during one of those whack-ass 7-inning doubleheader games last year. Then he would’ve gotten the perfecto.

But look, in a way, this could be better for Kershaw’s legacy. Hear me out. In college, I used to play a buddy of mine in ping pong. He kicked my ass for 15 straight games. I got close in a couple of them, but never beat him. 15 games, 15 L’s. It sucked. But in that 16th game, I finally won. The feeling was euphoric. So how did the 17th game go? It didn’t. We didn’t play again. Like ever. Solely for the sake that I will always have bragging rights for winning the most recent game. I’m on a winning streak that will never be broken. To me, this Kershaw start is like that. This was Kershaw’s first career game against the Twins. He’s technically never given up a hit to that franchise. It will make for incredible bragging rights one day, and at very least, an incredible trivia question. اربح So low key, this was a dope move by Doc. Hell, I know Kershaw was contemplating retiring this offseason. He should do it now. Go out on a perfect 7 innings.

But on top of that, let’s not overreact to this decision. The hot takes will be flying. And my least favorite of the bunch is this one.

I’m willing to bet that profile picture-less PeteM199 doesn’t watch baseball to begin with. And I’m also willing to bet Clayton Kershaw pitching a perfect game in mid-April wasn’t going to change that. People like PeteM199 like to hate on baseball no matter what baseball does. Hell, if Kersh finished the perfecto, PeteM199 probably would’ve complained that there are too many perfect games and there is no offense in the sport. “wonder why baseball is losing fans” he’d tweet while scratching his nuts on the recliner in his ex-wife’s house instead of looking for a new job on Monster.com like he promised her he would. Never mind the fact that this outing was monumental enough to get one of ESPN’s *checks notes* NFL REPORTERS (!) Field Yates to tweet about. Nevermind the fact that last year’s World Series posted 3-year highs, the All-Star Game saw increased viewership in 2021, and last year’s Field of Dreams game between the White Sox and Yankees was the highest viewed regular season baseball game of all-time. But sure, Kersh getting the hook is why baseball is losing fans. Great take, Pete.

And I’ve also seen a lot of these flying around…

I get it if you want to rip Dave Roberts for the decision, but let’s keep in perspective that the guy knows what he’s doing. He has the highest winning percentage of any Dodgers manager since they moved to LA, and the third-highest all-time, behind Chuck Dressen and some dude from the 1800s who probably had a curly0sue mustache. And Dave has almost as many wins as the two of them combined. So I’m pretty sure the guy knows what he’s doing. And I’m pretty sure he knows more than the doofuses shouting at their phones after tuning into the game on MLB.tv during the 7th inning. This isn’t unprecedented either. He’s pulled guys during no-nos and perfectos before. Just ask Ross Stripling during his first career start (pulled from a no-no)… or Rich Hill.

Which leads me to this tweet. Seen A LOT of this flying around today.

Context is usually important. Rich Hill was a top-3 pitcher for the Dodgers in 2016. He was also dealing with more blisters than fingers that season. It was a nagging issue for him that sidelined him for multiple starts. That game was on September 10th, not June 10th as the tweet states. They were in the middle of a heated playoff race, among a near-30-year World Series drought. They needed Rich Hill for October, not September 10th. And as for today, well, I literally just laid that out for you. Again, CONTEXT. IS. IMPORTANT.

Does it suck? Of course. We would’ve loved to see history today. But we’d love to see a healthy Clayton Kershaw throughout 2022 even more. And TWINS!

The post Pulling Clayton Kershaw From A Perfect Game After 7 Sucks, But *Sigh* It Was The Right Call appeared first on Korked Bats.

There are certain loves out there that feel more powerful than the cosmos. Derek Carr’s love for eyeliner, our site’s love for Derrick Henry, and Bob Nightengale’s newfound love for Frederick Freeman. Was this love always there? No, not when he was on the Braves. But since he put that intertwined L.A. on his cap, Bobert can’t stop tweeting about him. Don’t believe me? These are all of his tweets about him since FRIDAY!

FRED FREEMAN!

18 of his 41 tweets over the last 24 hours have been about Fred Freeman. THAT’S NEARLY EVERY OTHER TWEET. And the only reason it wasn’t more was because the Correa and Castellanos deals were dropped in the middle there, forcing Bobert to tweet about something other than the Dodgers’ new first baseman. My goodness, Boob. Might need to adjust your pants a little after a weekend long-bender of tweeting about Fred Freeman. Hell, Jeff Passan doesn’t even tweet about NFT’s that much. Especially weird for a guy who may be gone, but he is forgotten.

The post Try And Love Anything As Much As Bob Nightengale Loves Tweeting About Freddie Freeman appeared first on Korked Bats.

As the lead purveyor of this blog, I can kinda do whatever the hell I want. And as a Dodgers fan – yes, I know, I’ll get to that in a sec – I’m officially turning Korked Bats into Korked Braves for the Fall Classic.

Full disclosure: I am a Dodgers fan. A massive one. If you didn’t know that, it’s probably because I don’t use this blog to flaunt my fandom, at least not like I do with Derrick Henry. Mainly because I know everyone hates the Dodgers and Dodgers fans. Plus, the world doesn’t need another obnoxious Dodgers fan. So I keep this fandom (my absolute most diehard fandom) to myself.

But this decision to turn this blog into a fan site for the team that just eliminated mine actually isn’t as difficult as you might imagine. At least personally. While losing in the NLCS (yet again) hurts like a papercut in the skin between your fingers, it doesn’t hurt as bad when they lose to the Braves. Let me explain. Growing up in Nashville, I was always fond of the Braves. I considered them my second favorite NL team. Can you even have a second favorite NL team? I actually always hate people who root for two teams. I think it’s lame. So I’ll just say that I have been fond of the Braves from the first time I went to Turner Field in 6th grade.

That’s me and my buddy Brian. He’s a massive Atlanta Braves fan, an avid Korked Bats reader and one of my best friends throughout childhood. Our moms took us out of school early on a Friday. We made the short drive down to Atlanta, went to the game, and stayed in a hotel. As you might imagine, it was dope.

My mom even let me get a hat from the Turner Field Team Store. I got this black and gray Braves hat. It was one of my favorite hats.

Also, I don’t think we were supposed to climb up on Hank Aaron’s number like that. But no one was going to tell me what to do. Not in my sick jorts and badass Dennis Rodman kicks.

So not only do I have a soft spot in my sports fandom for the Braves, but a lot of my friends are Braves fans, and like the Dodgers, they’ve been through the ringer for many years. Always great, but never great enough. So I get it. Plus, I’ve always been hella impressed and kinda jealous of just how awesome #BravesTwitter is. It’s not just relentless, it’s also hilarious and damn creative. Shout out Riley’s Rakes, Jeff Donahoo, and JDunnah. I want those dudes to be happy because they make me happy online.

Also, can’t forget talking to massive Braves honk and comedian (probably in that order) Aaron Chewning last year.

Aaron is insanely hilarious and I want him to be happy.

Hell, this blog also got really into the #RallyPotato movement last season. We even sold some shirts.

And on top of all of that, Waffle House is my favorite restaurant on earth. The Braves have Waffle Houses in their damn stadium. How can I not LOVE that?

Now look, I understand the optics on this look dumb. You can’t just jump onto a bandwagon whenever your team gets eliminated. That’s a dick move. You’re supposed to feel pain. I actually agree. And I do. I feel a lot of pain. But I want the Braves to win the World Series for a reason that runs much deeper. For a reason that plays into my pain. This isn’t a bandwagon jump more than it is revenge. Because more than everything said above, I want the Braves to win the World Series for one main reason:

• The Houston Astros suck a big ol’ bag of donkey wangs.

As a massive baseball fan, and Dodgers fans, I despise the Astros and what they did to Kershaw, the 2017 Dodgers (arguably the greatest Dodgers team I’ve ever seen in my life – and the fact that they took a cheating team to 7 games should only prove that), and the sport of baseball in general. They cheated the sport and deserve nothing but bad things. Especially since the commissioner’s office refused to punish them with bad things.

I would love nothing more than the Braves to give the Astros a swirley every single game. To kick them square in the nuts every single game. To piss in their cereal and make them eat it every single game. And I don’t mean this figuratively.

Especially with reports of them cheating… AGAIN. Listen for the whistles before pitches in the videos below:

So Braves fans, while you’re Ohhh Ohhh Ohhhh-ing, be on the listen for whistles.

And then do all of America a favor and kick the living crap out of the Astros, that escaped Santa’s workshop elf Jose Altuve, and that human catheter tube Carlos Correa. They deserve nothing but the worst things. And Braves fans, if you’re cool with it, Korked Bats is going all-in for the next 4-7 games on the Atlanta Braves.

P.S. Bill Plaschke sucks. If there’s one thing Braves fans and Dodgers fans can agree on, it’s that Bill Plaschke is the absolute worst. Trust me, #BravesTwitter, Dodgers fans might hate him more than you.

The post OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Korked Bats Is A Braves Blog For The 2021 World Series appeared first on Korked Bats.

Nope to all of the above.

But rather it’s this story about the Dippin Dots guy at Dodger Stadium.

I already love this guy.

And I’m not just saying that because I was once a Dippin’ Dots employee. I mean, it’s part of it. But to just answer the question “what’s good boss?” with “just running around selling Dippin’ Dots” is such an awesome reply. I kinda want to use that even if I’m not running around and selling Dippin’ Dots.

then the guy in front of me said "damn, you're living the dream" and dippin dots guy suddenly got really serious and said "no, the dream is selling churros"

anyway that was the best part of the dodger game tonight

— Sam Fishell (@SamFishell) October 21, 2021

Oh damn. It just got real. I felt that in my gut.

I guess contrary to popular belief, selling Dippin’ Dots at Dodger Stadium IS NOT the dream. Selling churros at Dodger Stadium is.

Which, I actually get it. It’s not a knock at my former employer, either. Dippin’ Dots are still great. A bit overpriced, but still great. But have you ever seen this guy before?

Oh hell yeah, churro guy. You can’t watch that and tell me other than the dream of every living American is to sell churros at Dodger Stadium. I wish my career path could lead me to churros at Chavez Ravine. But I, unfortunately, opted for radio. I’ll never get to sell churros at Dodger Stadium. Now I feel like a failure.

Sam goes on to tweet a couple of things he learned about vendors at Dodger Stadium:

• vendors get to pick what they sell based on seniority, so if you see someone selling churros at dodger stadium they’ve probably been there a while
• if you’re a vendor, it matters less what section you’re in and more if the dodgers are winning/weather/things like that as far as determining how many concessions you’re likely to sell

It’s true. I had a friend who used to be a vendor at Dodger Stadium and he would get stuck with pizzas, which apparently are not a top seller when it comes to section vendors. But he did get to make a lot of Mike Piazza/pizza puns. Even though he was playing for the Mets at the time.

P.S. The #1 question I always receive after people find out I worked at a Dippin’ Dots kiosk is always “If they’re the ice cream of the future, then why isn’t all ice cream Dippin’ Dots right now?” And it’s always asked in the most condescending and snarky tone. To which I reply: technically, we will never fully reach the future. The future is always ahead of us. So frankly, Dippin’ Dots will ALWAYS be the ice cream of the future.

I’ll give you a minute to clean the mess you just made from your mind being blown.

The post The Highlight Of NLCS Game 5 Was A Story About This Dodger Stadium Dippin’ Dots Vendor appeared first on Korked Bats.

Maury? Do you have the results?

Logan Webb did, indeed, shove it up the Dodgers butt. Twice. Once in Game 1, a 4-0 Giants win. And again in Game 5, which was won on the Dodgers final at bats. 14 2/3 innings, 1 earned run, 17 strikeouts and gave up only 9 hits and 1 walk. The man was a human flame emoji on the mound.

But then in the 9th inning, Cody Berlinger singled home Justin Turner for the go-ahead run. Good for Cody Bellinger though. You could say this guy’s error in a Giants-Dodgers game earlier this year was the reason the Dodgers didn’t win the division. And on top of that, Cody has had a really bad year at the plate for anyone’s standards, let alone a former MVP. So good on him for coming up clutch. I know, I know. Congratulating the Dodgers is like congratulating the iceberg in Titanic. But how can you not root for America’s favorite stoner, Cody Bellinger?

Mad respect for Logan Webb though. 24 years old and the dude was like a mini-MadBum. Also, the obvious must be stated. Logan Webb looks just like Jesse Plemons. Here’s Jesse Plemons:

And here’s Logan Webb:

Loved you in Game Night, dude.

The post Cody Bellinger Accurately Recaps The NLCS, Claiming Logan Webb “Shoved It Up Their Butt Twice” appeared first on Korked Bats.