Madison Bumgarner Archives - Korked Bats https://korkedbats.com/tag/madison-bumgarner/ That Funny Sports Blog Mon, 24 Feb 2020 14:18:11 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.1.2 https://korkedbats.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/cropped-icon2-32x32.png Madison Bumgarner Archives - Korked Bats https://korkedbats.com/tag/madison-bumgarner/ 32 32 174091148 Madison Bumgarner Competing In Rodeos Under A Fake Name Is The Least Surprising News of Spring Training https://korkedbats.com/madison-bumgarner-competing-in-rodeos-under-a-fake-name-is-the-least-surprising-news-of-spring-training/ https://korkedbats.com/madison-bumgarner-competing-in-rodeos-under-a-fake-name-is-the-least-surprising-news-of-spring-training/#comments Mon, 24 Feb 2020 14:12:32 +0000 http://korkedbats.flywheelsites.com/?p=20589 A secret has been revealed about Madison Bumgarner, but given everything we know about this guy, we shouldn't be surprised by this at all.

The post Madison Bumgarner Competing In Rodeos Under A Fake Name Is The Least Surprising News of Spring Training appeared first on Korked Bats.

]]>
In case you haven’t heard, Madison Bumgarner has been competing in rodeo events under the alias “Mason Saunders.”

If you’re thinking I’m making this up, I assure you I couldn’t even come up with something this random. This story was uncovered by The Athletic when they stumbled upon this photo:

Yup, that’s Madison Bumgarner, errr, Mason Saunders, and this comes via The Athletic:

“Oh boy,” Bumgarner said Sunday when shown the photo. “This is ruining my alias.”

So why the alias?

Why the alias then? That was to protect his adventures from garnering too much attention outside the insular world of roping. (“I’m nervous about this interview right now,” Bumgarner said through a smile to a pair of reporters from The Athletic at one point. “I’m upset with both you two.”) If he competed as Madison Bumgarner, every phone camera in the arena would be trained on him, he said.

You literally could’ve told me this guy did anything – and I mean ANYTHING – and I would’ve believed it. You could’ve told me that Madison Bumgarner…

  • hosts tours in the Salt Lake City Art Museum
  • invented Bagel Bites
  • is the only player in baseball sponsored by Mossimo
  • only drinks rye whiskey during games
  • is in Expendables 3
  • works part time at a Taco Bell in Allentown, Pennsylvania
  • kisses each of his teammates on the lips before starts
  • wears cargo shorts underneath his baseball pants
  • is actually Brendan Fraser
  • makes house calls to strip at bachelorette parties
  • murdered an entire family of four in their sleep

…and I wouldn’t be surprised in the least. In fact, I’d probably respond, “Yup, that sounds right.”

Why? Because everything about this guy sounds like a tall tale wilder than John Henry. For example, Madison Bumgarner was so good at baseball so young that he started playing coach-pitch baseball at four-years-old against seven-year-olds. He’s ambidextrous and can shoot a bow, bat, write and rope right-handed, but he pitches left handed. Oh, and his dad wouldn’t let him throw a curveball until he had his driver’s licence.

And then there’s my favorite: he once dated a girl named Madison Bumgarner.

That’s 100% real. When asked about it, he said there was “No relation, I’m sure of it.”

So again, I’m not surprised he competes in rodeos under a fake name. This is a guy who literally injured his shoulder and missed three months in 2017 in a dirt bike accident DURING THE SEASON. So of course he rides bulls in the offseason. Dirt bikes are the gateway drug to roping cattle which is the gateway drug to doing those high-wire stunts across Times Square and Niagra Falls that you always see on ABC. At least I assume as much. So don’t be surprised to see MadBum tightroping between skyscrapers this summer live on ABC after Modern Family.

Meanwhile, the Arizona Diamondbacks have to be loving their new 5-year, $85 million investment. Should’ve read the fine print and known that he puts himself in harms way by doing any unsafe activity you can find on a farm. How have teams not learned to throw clauses into their MadBum contracts.

My only other question: is the rodeo world surprised to find out that Mason Saunders pitches in the major leagues under the alias Madison Bumgarner and has actually been named a 4-time All-Star and has won a World Series MVP?

The post Madison Bumgarner Competing In Rodeos Under A Fake Name Is The Least Surprising News of Spring Training appeared first on Korked Bats.

]]>
https://korkedbats.com/madison-bumgarner-competing-in-rodeos-under-a-fake-name-is-the-least-surprising-news-of-spring-training/feed/ 1 20589
PICTURE: Joe Buck’s Biggest Dream https://korkedbats.com/picture-joe-buck-madison-bumgarner-wedding/ https://korkedbats.com/picture-joe-buck-madison-bumgarner-wedding/#respond Thu, 30 Oct 2014 13:01:16 +0000 http://korkedbats.flywheelsites.com/?p=17150 Joe Buck couldn't stop thinking about one thing the whole time he was broadcasting Game 7 of the 2014 World Series. This was that thing.

The post PICTURE: Joe Buck’s Biggest Dream appeared first on Korked Bats.

]]>
This is the only thing Joe Buck could think about during the entire seventh game of the 2014 World Series:

Buck-Bumgarner Wedding

He’d probably hyphenate his last name and become Mrs. Joe Buck-garner.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post PICTURE: Joe Buck’s Biggest Dream appeared first on Korked Bats.

]]>
https://korkedbats.com/picture-joe-buck-madison-bumgarner-wedding/feed/ 0 17150