Sayonara, Mexico.

And frankly, I’m glad the US is playing Japan rather than Mexico. Am I crazy for saying that? We’ll find out in a few hours, but the basis of my analysis is from my own meandering experience in which I watched Mexico already slaughter USA in pool play, 11-5. They dominated. Even if America built a wall on the border, Mexico would just hit the ball over it. They’re so good. And they have Randy Arozarena, who technically is Cuban but asked the president of Mexico for citizenship to compete for Mexico and, oh yeah, might be the best player baseball has seen since Jon Dowd in MVP Baseball.

Now is this the most talented team America has sent to the WBC? Maybe in terms of lineup, but certainly not with the pitching staff. So it helps to have certain things fall in our favor. Like the Dominican Republic (arguably the most talented roster in the WBC) and Puerto Rico fall in pool play as well as the results of last night and not having to face Mexico again.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like beating Japan will be a walk in a Japanese garden. They literally have a guy on their team nicknamed “Babe Ruth,” and it’s NOT Shoehei Ohtani. I think I just feel more – unjustly – confident in playing Japan based solely on previous wars that America has competed in. From my limited knowledge of U.S. History, Japan may have gotten us in the first half, but pretty sure we were on the winning end of WW2.

Whereas, the only war I’m familiar with against Mexico is the Alamo. And despite us promising to “remember” it, it ended the way of most college football seasons… with Texas losing. Plus, I was terrified of having to play Mexico on a Taco Tuesday. So yeah, I’d rather face Japan. Not to mention, we get to witness another game of arguably the greatest player of our generation. No, not Mike Trout… Shohei Ohtani. Finally, and quite possibly the only time, we get to witness Ohtani and Trout compete in a championship game. As a baseball fanatic, I’m jacked about this fact. Is this heaven? No, it’s the World Baseball Classic.

In the immortal words of Team USA hitting coach Ken Griffey Jr., “Call call call me Junior… It’s showtime!”

The post The Fate of the World (Baseball Classic) Comes Down To USA-Japan, Thank God appeared first on Korked Bats.

Right-hander Noah Syndergaard and the Los Angeles Angels have agreed to a one-year, $21 million deal, pending a physical, sources told ESPN on Tuesday.

Syndergaard, 29, spent the first seven seasons of his career with the New York Mets, making one All-Star team and displaying perhaps the nastiest array of pitches for a starter in the major leagues. Having pitched only two innings since 2019 because of Tommy John surgery, Syndergaard will join an Angels rotation that was among the worst in the big leagues last season.

via ESPN.com

Oh great, another generational talent signs a deal to join the endless void of wasted talent known as the Los Angeles Angels (of Anaheim).

If MLB players are the dudes from the original Space Jam, then the Angels franchise is the basketball. Just completely rendering all their talents useless.

Think about this: the Angels have housed Mike Trout, the greatest player in baseball since Albert Pujols, for over a decade now and he’s played in 3 playoff games. Oh, and they’ve ALSO HAD ALBERT PUJOLS! And somehow found a way to completely destroy the second half of his hall of fame career (until a late resurgence as a platoon player with the Dodgers). And now they are housing arguably the greatest baseball talent since Babe Ruth in Shohei Ohtani, and only time will tell how they’ll destroy that talent.

Here’s a list of other notable names the Angels have seemingly destroyed:

• Josh Hamilton
• both Upton Brothers (Justin and Melvin, aka B.J.)
• Andrelton Simmons
• Tony Danza (people forget he dies in Angels in the Outfield)

And it’s not like all of these guys sucked in Anaheim. They just became forgotten about. Maybe it’s because this franchise never plays in October. Maybe it’s because they play in glorified mini-mall down the 5 freeway from Disneyland. Or maybe it’s just because that’s their brand. They’ve finally become the team in Angels In The Outfield. Sorry, Rodger, but you’re never going to be a family again because these Angels are never winning a pennant.

Even with the addition of Thor. Hell, Noah Syndergaard would probably remain more relevant if he returned home to Asgard. And look, I may be coming across as harsh, but I don’t hate the Angels. I’m just frustrated as hell with them. As a baseball fan, I respect the fact that they have collected some of the best talent in the world. You’d think they’d be amazing. But they always suck. Meaning the only relevant games their players play in are All-Star Games. And those don’t even determine home-field advantage in the World Series anymore. So even they’re meaningless.

What I’m trying to say is the Angels are the straight-to-DVD movie of MLB franchises. They just destroy the careers of some of the biggest A-list celebs out there. And it’s the first sign the player will soon be forgotten. And if that straight-to-DVD reference feels a little dated, good. It’s supposed to. Because the Angels are.

The post Noah Syndergaard Signs A One Year Deal With The Los Angeles Angels (of Anaheim), Essentially Ending His Career appeared first on Korked Bats.

A lot of them.

I’m not a parent. No kids. Obviously, you can tell, because I have enough free time to write this. But from what I hear, having kids is like being locked up at Guantanamo Bay, but replace the waterboarding with Frozen movies. Sure, having kids is the greatest joy that can ever be bestowed upon a human, blah blah blah, but according to most parents, its also the worst thing they’ve ever done. But they love their kids. They just hate them. Nothing brings them more joy. But they wish they didn’t have to raise them.

Giving birth to a sweet bundle of joy is the single worst thing humans are faced with to atone for their sins.

Yeah, well, that’s apparently not the case for Mike Trout.

He and his wife gave birth to a boy last weekend – Beckham Aaron Trout (of course his initials are BAT). He missed one day for paternity leave, and was like, “I’ma go back to work now.” Understandable. Meanwhile, every parent reading this is currently mumbling under their breath, “lucky.”

Since he became a dad, he’s apparently been injected with vats full of dad strength, a PED that surprisingly hasn’t been banned by baseball yet. In his first at bat back, he goes yard. Nothing too surprising for Trout. He hits baseballs over fences all the time. But doing anything impressive is definitely surprising for someone who just had their first kid a couple days prior. I have one friend who texted me three weeks after his kid was born fishing for a congratulations because he put jeans on for the first time.

As of Wednesday night, he’s hit 3 home runs in 7 at bats. THREE… IN SEVEN!!

Look, going into this, Mike Trout was universally recognized as the best player in baseball. Now he should be considered one of the best athlete in sports. Scratch that. The best parent in parenting. Mashing 3 taters in 7 at bats is hard to do for anyone, but especially someone who now has spit up stains on all of his favorite shirts.

And before you “well actually” douches come in here and say, “Well actually, the Angels have been on the road in Seattle since he returned, so he hasn’t been around the baby,” just know the point still stands. Getting out of the house to do ANYTHING in the week after your first baby is born might be the most impressive feat of this entire week for Trout.

As if Mike Trout wasn’t fair before, now he’s even more unfair. I mean that from both a baseball and a parenting perspective. Just expect a lot of baseball players to now hit up their local GNC’s to see if they can get dad strength over the counter.

The post “Having Kids Sucks,” Says Every New Parent Not Named Mike Trout appeared first on Korked Bats.

To help pass the month and half until ACTUAL baseball begins, let’s all partake in a nice game of MLB Spring Training BINGO.

The post Play MLB Spring Training BINGO! appeared first on Korked Bats.

ANAHEIM —

Trout could potentially be the first non-Kansas City Royals player to make the 2015 A.L. All-Royal Team, formerly known as the A.L. All-Star Team.

“I’m honored just to be considered among some of the great Royals of this season,” Trout said. “I mean to hear your name in the same sentence as guys like Salvador Perez and Omar Infante… It’s something every little boy dreams of.”

The All-Royal Team is scheduled to take on the N.L. All-Stars on July 14th in the 2015 MLB All-Star Game, to determine who will have home field advantage in the World Series – the National League or the Royals.

Whether or not Trout makes it onto the team is decided solely up to the voters, or in this year’s case, Royals fans, who many believe are making a mockery of the All-Star game voting process. However, Major League Baseball is going to let it slide, because they made a mockery of Kansas City baseball for the past three decades.

If Trout gets voted onto the former A.L. All-Star Team, it will be nothing new for the slugger. He is used to playing for teams that change their name, as he currently roams the outfield for the former California Angels and Anaheim Angels, and current Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in Orange County, California located just south of Los Angeles County and in the same city as Disneyland.

The post Mike Trout Hoping To Be Voted Onto This Year’s A.L. All-Royal Team appeared first on Korked Bats.

• • •

They’ll hand out 100 Grand to just about anyone. Although, when all is said and done, they’re usually stuck eating it. لعبة مباشر

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He’ll drop some right in your bag.

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Head injuries.

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Too soon?

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Be careful, they usually go stale in October.

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“Gimme a break! Gimme a break!”

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However, he only has “Fun Size” and can only give one.

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Did you guys know he went to Harvard?

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The Big Ten Conference is great for supplying cupcakes. Just look on their schedules. Or just look in Brady Hoke’s pantry.

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At least that’s what he wants us all to believe.

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post What Candy Your Favorite Athletes Hand Out For Halloween appeared first on Korked Bats.