The Junk Drawer is back with our 43rd episode, with another special guest! The crazy lunatic, idiot Alex Jones joins the trio… kinda.

In honor of International Women’s Day, Austin implored Grit and myself to name famous women. I thought Betty Crocker was a real person, what the hell is wrong with me? With this fault, I now have to serve a punishment.

Remember this creepy, rapey vibe skunk from Looney Tunes? Good, now forget about him. CUZ HE’S CANCELLED!

The NBA Dunk Contest proved to be a bigger disappointment than Mitchell Trubisky’s quarterback play in Chicago.

LISTEN HERE:

RUNDOWN

0:28​ – Shots Fired At The NBA All-Star Game

1:25​ – A.D. Thinks Betty Crocker Was Real

6:07​ – Glacier Boyz Update

10:43​ – The Good, The Back, & The Ugly – A.D.

10:56​ – Pepé Le Pew Is Officially Cancelled

19:43​ – Special Guest Alex Jones

30:14​ – Burger King’s Tweet

38:14​ – The Good, The Back, & The Ugly – Grit

41:34​ – Anthony “Fast Pasta” Alfredo

56:59​ – The Good, The Back, & The Ugly – Austin

1:06:59​ – NBA Dunk Disappointment Contest

1:11:24​ – FRANK FACT

The post The Junk Drawer: ‘Space Jam 2’ Sans Pepe Le Pew, Special Guest Alex Jones, And Name A Woman! appeared first on Korked Bats.

In case you didn’t watch, the NBA Dunk Contest on Saturday night was actually pretty dope. The entire thing came down to a dunk-off against Derrick Jones Jr. (Miami Heat), and the Buffalo Bills of the NBA Dunk Contest, Aaron Gordon (Orlando Magic).

A lot of people always love to clown on the Dunk Contest, as if jumping over another human while putting a basketball between your legs and through a hoop is not an impressive feat. Anyone can do it, right? Haters will claim the contest has become unoriginal, uncreative, and no longer exciting or fun, which is ironic, because the same things are usually said about Saturday Night Live.

Many people like to think both the NBA Dunk Contest and Saturday Night Live were better when they were younger. Don’t get me wrong, I’m one of those people to an extent. I firmly believe (and recently wrote about how) the greatest NBA Dunk Contest happened in 2000 – it was the More Cowbell sketch of dunk contests. I also believe the greatest SNL cast came in the mid-90s with Myers, Carvey, Phil Hartman, Farley, Sandler, Spade, and Norm MacDonald hosting Weekend Update. But the show hasn’t failed to be great since then. Many will say the dunk contest was best with Michael Jordan, Spud Webb, Dee Brown, Dominique Wilkins, etc. But again, it hasn’t failed to be great since then.

In fact, they’ve both been great since, and I’m not sure which uses more props.

SNL has been good. Here are some examples:

• Tom Hanks as David S. Pumpkins (2016)
• Ryan Gosling in Papyrus (2017)
• Every Stefon appearance
• any Guy Who Just Bought A Boat appearance
• A Thanksgiving Miracle (2015)
• Anything with Kristen Wiig or Kat McKinnon in it
• And The Californians might be one of the greatest recurring sketches on the show.
• Even as recently as Adam Driver hosting just a few weeks ago…

Just as the NBA Dunk Contest has been good. Here are some examples:

• Dwight Howard’s Superman dunk (2008)
• Gerald Green blowing out a birthday candle dunk (2008)
• Dwight Howard dunking from 12-feet (2009)
• Blake Griffin dunking over a damn KIA (2011)
• JaVale McGee dunking TWO basketballs in two hoops (2011)
• Aaron Gordon dunking OVER the Magic’s mascot while putting the balls UNDER his legs (2016)
• LeBron James dun—lol, jk, he’s never done the dunk contest
• Even as recently as Pat Connaughton on Saturday night…

Saturday night only further proved the NBA Dunk Contest doesn’t just have a pulse, its heart is beating out of is chest like that alien from Aliens.

Now, again, haters will claim there’s no originality anymore. Everything we’re seeing is something we’ve seen before, which isn’t entirely wrong, and no one falls more victim to this take than the guys who announce the NBA Dunk Contest for TNT, primarily Reggie Miller and Kenny Smith (Kevin Harlan is excluded because that mane could make a time-share meeting exciting). These guys have been announcing the dunk contest for years, so they’ve literally seen every attempt of every dunk. Plus, they feel like they have to play it cool more than just bring excitement to the event, so Kenny Smith spends more time telling you why a dunk isn’t that impressive than he does hyping it. Kenny’s nickname is The Jet, but during the Dunk Contest, he’s The Buzzkill.

If Kenny commentated SNL, he’d probably be like, “This sketch isn’t that funny. The timing wasn’t right on the jokes. You want a funny sketch you have to watch Sprockets with Mike Myers. That’s a well-timed, hilarious sketch. This isn’t that.”

It’s for that reason why Aaron Gordon failed to win on Saturday night, despite jumping over the 7-foot-5 Tacko Fall in the finals. Think about that for a second. Aaron Gordon jumped OVER a human being who is SEVEN FOOT FIVE INCHES TALL, and DID NOT win the competition. Sure there wasn’t much creativity to the dunk, but sometimes I feel like we forget just how incredible it is to jump over humans who would scrape their heads walking into most parking garages.

It’s like Odell Beckham Jr.’s one-handed catch. We all initially freaked out because it was the first time we saw anything like that in a game, but from here on out, every time someone makes a one-handed catch, it will feel less significant, even though the feat isn’t any less difficult.

Take a step back and appreciate the greatness.

If you meet someone around the water cooler this week who claims the NBA Dunk Contest isn’t good anymore, ask them what they think about Saturday Night Live, because odds are it’s the same take. After you ask that, ask them when the last time was they watched either one in full. Odds are the answer to that question is a couple years ago – at least.

Does every dunk land? No. Is every SNL skit funny? No. But that doesn’t mean they’re all lame dunks or unfunny skits. You can’t go into each dunk/skit comparing it to what you grew up with, or else nothing will ever be good enough. Nothing you see today will ever make you change your opinion, but don’t let that make you miss out on the greatness happening today.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

The post The NBA Dunk Contest Is Like ‘Saturday Night Live’ appeared first on Korked Bats.

Vince Carter’s NBA Dunk Contest victory is a year away from being able to drink with you and your friends at bars. Awesome.

It was 20 years ago today when Vince Carter did the unthinkable.

Everyone likes to say the dunk contest was better when they were growing up, but having seen literally every dunk contest (thanks YouTube), I can honestly say that Vince Carter in 2000 was undoubtedly the best. It was The Sixth Sense, and every other year was M. Knight’s other projects.

This isn’t to take away from Michael Jordan and him dunking from (just over) the free throw line. This isn’t to take away from Dominique Wilkins and anything he did that same year. This isn’t to take away Dee Brown’s “no look” dunk or any of the other dunks that came before or after. This is just to say that Vince Carter went off on February 12th, 2000. New millennium, new champ. In a time when everyone was worried about Y2k, they should’ve been scared of V.C.

I remember watching this live and having to scrape my jaw off the floor. And it wasn’t just one dunk. It was EVERY. SINGLE. DUNK. The man reverse windmill dunked, he went between the legs, and he dipped the lower half of his arm INSIDE the rim. Maybe I was amazed because at that time me and my buddies would spend hours just trying to “touch net” at our local Y, and here Vinsanity was touching net… THROUGH THE DAMN NET! I feel like half of today’s NBA wouldn’t be able to accomplish this if they tried.

Sure, nowadays dunks that he pulled off have become common place, but you have to remember, when Vinsanity busted these out, it was the first we had ever seen it.

Take a 15 minute break from whatever you’re doing and relive just how great that night was. (Even if you’re not a Vince Carter fan, at least watch for Shaq filming the whole thing with his TV-studio-sized camcorder.)

When he broke down the fourth wall and mouthed, “It’s over.” He meant it. Not for the night, but for the rest of the dunk contest. Sure, Justin Bieber says never say never, but screw that. There will never be a greater dunk contest than the one V.C. won on this day in 2000.

The post Re-Watch All of Vince Carter’s Dunks On The 20th Anniversary of His Epic Dunk Contest Win appeared first on Korked Bats.

This dunk would’ve won last year’s NBA Dunk Contest.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post Blindfolded Dunk Contest Participant Misses Rim Completely [VIDEO] appeared first on Korked Bats.

This video has more completed dunks than last year’s NBA Dunk Contest.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post The Best Pool Dunk Of All Time [VIDEO] appeared first on Korked Bats.

Other than those minor details, this is exactly like Planet Earth.

Immature Side Note: Around the 1:01 mark of the video, it looks like Blake Griffin is pooping out a basketball.

The post Super Slow Motion Clip-per appeared first on Korked Bats.

A lot of big things happened in the NBA this weekend. Coincidentally it was their NBA All-Star Weekend in Los Angeles. These are some headlines you probably won’t see in the papers…

The post Headlines – 2011 NBA All-Star Weekend appeared first on Korked Bats.