July 1st. 3 days before America celebrates their independence, we celebrate the Mets’ lack thereof. For many, it’s just another hot, sticky day in the thick of summer. But for Bobby Bonilla, it’s a hot, sticky day in the thick of summer with a cool milly being dropped into his checking account. In 2000, the Mets made a financial decision so gloriously ridiculous that only the Mets could. The Bob Valentine in a disguise of financial decisions. They decided to defer Bobby Bonilla’s $5.9 million contract, spreading it out over 25 years starting in 2011. Now, every July 1st, the Mets pay Bobby Bonilla $1.19 million. Yes. One point one nine million. Bobby Bonilla, who retired in 2001, is still making a cool million-plus every year for merely staying alive.

Imagine this: you’re sipping a cool drink sitting by the pool, playing in a charity celebrity softball game, chilling at a local bar avoiding your wife and kids, or whatever else retired MLB players do, when your phone buzzes with a notification. “$1.19 million has been deposited into your account.” That’s Bob’s reality. It’s the ultimate retirement plan. But how did this happen? The Mets, in a stroke of financial genius (or madness), thought they could invest the saved money and earn a higher return. The irony? Their investments tanked, and now they’re stuck with an annual reminder. It’s like Christmas, but instead of Christ being born, the Mets were just dumb. Meanwhile, Bob is Chuck winning the golden ticket. But instead of touring the chocolate factory with his gimpy grandpa, he can just buy the damn factory. July 1st isn’t just the first day of July. It’s forever a day to laugh at the Metropolitans. So, here’s to you, Bob Bonilla. May your first of July continue to be filled with laughter, joy, and the sweet sound of cash registers. And to the Mets, thank you for giving us this annual reminder that in the game of life, the Mets will always be good for a laugh. Can’t wait till you ink Grimace with the exact same contract!

The post Bob Bonilla Is Another Mil Richer Today appeared first on Korked Bats.

Joseph Pulitzer. Barbara Walters. Edward R. Murrow. And, of course, Bob Nightengale.

It is currently May 16th and no journalist, aside from USA Today’s Bob Nightengale, is willing to talk about what would happen if the season ended today. It should be talked about. It needs to be talked about. Because without talking about it, how would we know what playoff implications would be in order for such an early end to the season. And if the season somehow inexplicably ended before Memorial Day, the most pressing news would be the fact that the offseasons’ two biggest spenders, the New York Mets and San Diego Padres, wouldn’t be in the playoffs. Never mind the abnormality of the season ending on MAY 16th (!). Nope, it’s that the Padres and Mets would not be in the postseason. Would it be weird that the season ended a mere days after Mother’s Day? Sure. But it’d be even weirder to see two-historically disappointing franchises who spent big money this offseason fail to make the postseason. At least according to Bobby.

Now look, it’s not like this is anything far from the norm for ol’ Bobert. He loves tweeting narratives in real-time. When it comes to freezing cold takes, and/or just wrong reports, there’s no one finer than #BobNightenL.

However, we should give credit where credit is due. This is the man who inevitably broke the news that officially brought baseball back from their lockout last spring.

Oh, and don’t forget, Bob IS on Cameo.

The post Bob Nightengale Gave Us MLB’s First “If The Season Ended Today” …on May 16! appeared first on Korked Bats.

Let me start this blog by saying I love my wife more than life itself.

Ok, with that now out of the way… Athletes, they’re just like us.

Any married dude knows there’s nothing better than time spent with your wife… BUUUUUT if there was, it would be time spent with your dudes. And Brewers rookie Garrett Mitchell is just a living embodiment of that. In fact, he not only recognized the fact that good things happen when his wife doesn’t show up to games, but he also had the stones to admit it – which is respectable. Now granted, it appears he did not admit it to her specifically…

Damn. Got his ass. But he did at least admit it to a stadium full of fans.

And based on yesterday, he kinda has a point. Wifey stays home, Garrett starts wildin’ for a walk-off to beat the Mets. Look, epic memories are typically created when wives aren’t around. Because otherwise, what stories would we have to bore them with when we get home, ya know?

“Babe, Eric and I were at a Waffle House when he drunkenly dared me to streak naked across the highway!”

“Oh wow. Crazy. Did you remember to clean out the garage?”

And look, this is gender-neutral. Epic things also happen for the ladies when the guys aren’t around. For example, when my wife comes home from girls’ weekends, she hits me with the craziest stories about how her and her girls did epic things like sit around a living room for hours sipping wine and asking each other questions like, “What are your dreams for this next year?” or “What have been your highs and lows from this past season of life?” True story. And truly epic. I assume.

Plus, as a sports blogger, I’m going to relate my limited baseball career to that of a Major Leaguer, because I can totally relate on a baseball level. When I was in middle school, and girls from my grade would come out to our games, I would play worse because I couldn’t stay focused. But when they weren’t at the games, I always played much better. So Garrett, trust me when I say, I totally get it, man.

I’m not a Brewers fan, but if I were, I’d demand Mrs. Garrett Mitchell needs to stay home all season. She can go ahead and start clearing space for their new Rookie of the Year trophy.

The post In The Most Relatable Quote Ever, Brewers Rookie Garrett Mitchell Says “When My Wife Doesn’t Show… Usually Something Good Happens.” appeared first on Korked Bats.

Right-hander Noah Syndergaard and the Los Angeles Angels have agreed to a one-year, $21 million deal, pending a physical, sources told ESPN on Tuesday.

Syndergaard, 29, spent the first seven seasons of his career with the New York Mets, making one All-Star team and displaying perhaps the nastiest array of pitches for a starter in the major leagues. Having pitched only two innings since 2019 because of Tommy John surgery, Syndergaard will join an Angels rotation that was among the worst in the big leagues last season.

via ESPN.com

Oh great, another generational talent signs a deal to join the endless void of wasted talent known as the Los Angeles Angels (of Anaheim).

If MLB players are the dudes from the original Space Jam, then the Angels franchise is the basketball. Just completely rendering all their talents useless.

Think about this: the Angels have housed Mike Trout, the greatest player in baseball since Albert Pujols, for over a decade now and he’s played in 3 playoff games. Oh, and they’ve ALSO HAD ALBERT PUJOLS! And somehow found a way to completely destroy the second half of his hall of fame career (until a late resurgence as a platoon player with the Dodgers). And now they are housing arguably the greatest baseball talent since Babe Ruth in Shohei Ohtani, and only time will tell how they’ll destroy that talent.

Here’s a list of other notable names the Angels have seemingly destroyed:

• Josh Hamilton
• both Upton Brothers (Justin and Melvin, aka B.J.)
• Andrelton Simmons
• Tony Danza (people forget he dies in Angels in the Outfield)

And it’s not like all of these guys sucked in Anaheim. They just became forgotten about. Maybe it’s because this franchise never plays in October. Maybe it’s because they play in glorified mini-mall down the 5 freeway from Disneyland. Or maybe it’s just because that’s their brand. They’ve finally become the team in Angels In The Outfield. Sorry, Rodger, but you’re never going to be a family again because these Angels are never winning a pennant.

Even with the addition of Thor. Hell, Noah Syndergaard would probably remain more relevant if he returned home to Asgard. And look, I may be coming across as harsh, but I don’t hate the Angels. I’m just frustrated as hell with them. As a baseball fan, I respect the fact that they have collected some of the best talent in the world. You’d think they’d be amazing. But they always suck. Meaning the only relevant games their players play in are All-Star Games. And those don’t even determine home-field advantage in the World Series anymore. So even they’re meaningless.

What I’m trying to say is the Angels are the straight-to-DVD movie of MLB franchises. They just destroy the careers of some of the biggest A-list celebs out there. And it’s the first sign the player will soon be forgotten. And if that straight-to-DVD reference feels a little dated, good. It’s supposed to. Because the Angels are.

The post Noah Syndergaard Signs A One Year Deal With The Los Angeles Angels (of Anaheim), Essentially Ending His Career appeared first on Korked Bats.

No, the greatest moment in the history of the sport came on May 7th, 2016.

The announcer even undersold it as “one of the great moments in baseball history.” I’m sorry, one of? Name a better one. You can’t. Thus making it THE greatest moment in baseball history.

This video has six “dislikes” on YouTube. Who the hell dislikes this video? Is that just all six Padres fans banning together on this one?

A lot of people think the greatest pitcher of our generation is Clayton Kershaw, maybe Jacob DeGrom, or even Randy Johnson (screw YOU if you think that), but all those would be wrong. Because the greatest pitcher of our generation… actually, scratch that. The greatest baseball player of our generation… wait, scratch that too. The greatest athlete of our generation is Bartolo Colon. And the fact that we got to witness him go yard might be the greatest accomplishment of my life. I’m married, I just started a new job in Chicago on a radio show with my name on it, this website was once recognized as the Site of the Day on ESPN by Colin Cowherd and Michelle Beadle, and yet watching Big Sexy hit a big fly at Petco remains the greatest accomplishment in my life.

Thank you, Bartolo. We love you.

Cheers!

The post Today Is The Anniversary of The Greatest Moment In The History of Baseball appeared first on Korked Bats.

New York Mets general manager Jared Porter sent explicit, unsolicited texts and images to a female reporter in 2016, culminating with a picture of an erect, naked penis, according to a copy of the text history obtained by ESPN.

The woman, a foreign correspondent who had moved to the United States to cover Major League Baseball, said at one point she ignored more than 60 messages from Porter before he sent the final lewd photo. The text relationship started casually before Porter, then the Chicago Cubs director of professional scouting, began complimenting her appearance, inviting her to meet him in various cities and asking why she was ignoring him. And the texts show she had stopped responding to Porter after he sent a photo of pants featuring a bulge in the groin area.

Porter continued texting her anyway, sending dozens of messages despite the lack of a response. On Aug. 11, 2016, a day after asking her to meet him at a hotel in Los Angeles, Porter sent the woman 17 pictures. The first 15 photos were of the hotel and its restaurants. The 16th was the same as an earlier photo of the bulge in the pants. The 17th was of a bare penis.

via ESPN.com

Dammit, dude. What the hell?!

SIXTY messages! SIXTY! How do you even get past, oh I dunno, TWENTY-FIVE before not being able to take a hint? This isn’t an instance where perseverance pays off. It’s not like after FORTY-FIVE texts she’s suddenly going to be like, “Ya know what? I do like this guy.”

Dude. Take a freaking hint.

Actually. scratch that. DON’T take a freaking pic. Especially not of your dick and send it to a woman 62 times without her ever responding. You think you’re being sexy? You think you’re being flirtatious? You’re being creepy as hell. And since you’re in a position of power, you think you can get away with it.

Reached by ESPN on Monday evening, Porter acknowledged texting with the woman. He initially said he had not sent any pictures of himself. When told the exchanges show he had sent selfies and other pictures, he said that “the more explicit ones are not of me. Those are like, kinda like joke-stock images.”

Joke stock images? Even if that was the case – it’s not, but let’s say it was – what the hell are you doing searching stock images of dicks?

You’re a creep, dude. And you’re finally reaping what you sowed.

After asking whether ESPN was planning to run a story, he asked for more time before later declining further comment.

On Tuesday morning, the Mets fired Porter, according to a tweet from owner Steve Cohen: “In my initial press conference I spoke about the importance of integrity and I meant it,” Cohen tweeted. “There should be zero tolerance for this type of behavior.”

What is with dude’s obsession with sending dick pics? Very few – if any – women are attracted to that. And most who say they are, are probably lying. ألعاب الروليت Women have enough of a hard time making it through most industries – especially sports, because of dickheads in the work place or online. How about this, fellas? Don’t be a dickhead. Crazy thought, I know. But you’ll be surprised how easy it is to not be a dickhead.

Meanwhile, this poor young woman. And I shouldn’t have waited this deep into my blog to bring her up, because she’s the true victim in this. Don’t believe me? Check this:

In December 2017, ESPN obtained the messages after being alerted to their existence by a baseball source. ESPN reached out to the woman, interviewed her and was prepared to report about the allegations but did not do so after the woman concluded her career would be harmed if the story emerged. ESPN has periodically kept in contact with the woman — who since has left journalism — and, in recent days, she decided to speak up only on the condition of anonymity because she fears backlash in her home country.

“My number one motivation is I want to prevent this from happening to someone else,” she told ESPN through an interpreter. “Obviously, he’s in a much greater position of power. I want to prevent that from happening again. The other thing is, I never really got the notion that he was truly sorry.”

“I know in the U.S., there is a women’s empowerment movement. But in [my home country], it’s still far behind,” the woman said. “Women get dragged through the mud if your name is associated with any type of sexual scandal. Women are the ones who get fingers pointed at them. I don’t want to go through the victimization process again. I don’t want other people to blame me.”

That stuff pisses me off. Guys, don’t be a creep to women. Ever. Whether you think they like you or not. لعبة الحظ الحقيقية Screw you, Jared Porter. I thought about never saying your name, even once, in this blog, but then I realized it needs to be said. Your name needs to be made into an example. In fact, just to drive home that point, I’m going to say your name SIXTY-TWO TIMES.

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Also, this might be the first time I’ve ever said this, but credit the Mets. They did NOT wait long after this story came out before they canned his ass. That’s how you change a culture, and I respect their new owner Steve Cohen. bet365 عربي That’s boss. It’s a shame it’s coming off their best offseason in years, but that speaks to this move even more. They didn’t try to justify it. Or let him “get help.” They canned his ass and said zero tolerance, bitch. Well done, Mets. And screw you, Jared Porter.

The post Screw You, Ex-Mets GM Jared Porter appeared first on Korked Bats.

Wasn’t expected my brain to go this deep on a Friday afternoon, but here we are. Freakin’ Confucius over here trying to get us all to reach a new realm inside your mind.

Would you rather be liked or respected?

Would you rather have 110 Likes or 34 Respects?

Well, I don’t know, Tim. Which one is better for my clout?

Does a respect carry as much weight as a like? If you really want to get into this, there are a lot of people I respect, but don’t like. But I can’t really think of someone I like but don’t respect. قوانين البوكر And also, where do retweets play into all of this? Because personally, I think Twitter made a mistake renaming the FAVORITE button to LIKE. Now no one on Twitter retweets anything. العب واكسب Why would they when they can just like? But back when it was called favorite, people retweeted all the time because they were more skiddish to deem a tweet their favorite (even though you could have as many favorites as you wanted – which always made no sense to me). Anyway, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Now, here’s a breakdown of when Tim tripped and fell on a baseball field. موقع مراهنات المباريات

P.S. Do NOT ask this question to Cody Bellinger, because he’ll be lost in this thought process for hours.

The post Tim Tebow Asks, “Is It Better To Be Respected Or Liked?” In Case You Wanted To Go Deep appeared first on Korked Bats.

Gotta love a guy saying, “The three of us here. Can’t leave this room” on a live stream that’s being broadcasted to thousands. Classic!

Let’s watch it again. This time louder (and with captions) for the people in the back.

I’d say this is unbelievable, but given the kind of commissioner Rob Manfred has proven to be over the last four to six months, this is so on brand. In fact, I couldn’t think of a more on brand scenario than this.

Then again, it completely contradicts the brand of the Mets because… well.. they actually look good here? Ok, that parts weird. But if you’re thinking there’s no way this report could be true, just no that was the Frozen Take King Mike Francesa’s take…

…so obviously it has to be.

But don’t worry, now the Mets are trying to save Rob Manfred’s ass by falling on the sword. This was clearly a “Hey, remember when I stood up for you owners in that horrific player vs. owners feud over the summer? Now it’s time for you to take a bullet for me” type situation for Manfred.

Ahhh yes, this was actually Mets COO Jeff Wilpon’s idea. Of course. We definitely believe you.

While we’re on the topic, here’s a convenient reminder, all shirts available in the Korked Bats Store.

As for the actual protest itself, it was actually pretty powerful.

The post Want Some Juicy MLB Gossip? Rob Manfred’s Apparently Staging Fake Player Protests appeared first on Korked Bats.

In a move that can only be described as so dumb only the powers that be in baseball could think of it, mascots have been banned from the field of play for the 60 game season.

This is ridiculous for a number of reasons. First, mascots are in suits that prevent the transmission of any type of disease. If Mr. Met sneezes, his germs are concealed within his weird baseball-headed body. Also, you’ve already put baseball fans through misery with your bullshit negotiations, and when I say that, I’m looking directly at the owners. “Wahh wahh, the billionaires didn’t make a profit for a year!” Let me pull out the world’s smallest violin. These assholes want us to feel sorry for them, and then take away the in-between-inning fun? Burn in hell, MLB owners.

I think I speak for a good proportion of people right now when I say I don’t miss baseball, I miss going to games. I miss going down to the stadium with your friends and family on a weekend afternoon, drinking in the parking lot before hand and taking pictures with the mascot as it walks the aisles of the stadium.

The owners have gone too far this time. Let me explain something, I care a lot less about Bryce Harper drawing a walk than the Phanatic drawing a reaction out of the Freddie Freeman. People will look back at the ignorance the owners showed throughout this whole process, and banning mascots from the field might be seen as the dagger that killed America’s Pastime.

If mascots can’t hit the field, here’s hoping they bring one of those whipped-cream pies or buckets of confetti up to the owner’s suites to throw at those bratty billionaires.

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The post Yes, Baseball’s Back… But Without Mascots appeared first on Korked Bats.

SOURCE – “I thought that last year maybe I would have the opportunity,” Colon said on a video call with ESPN. “I know that if it didn’t happen last year, this year would be less likely. I’m getting older and the game is all about the young pitchers coming up. When you get older, teams no longer need your services.”

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if Bartolo Colon wants to come back. You let Bartolo Colon come back. Now I know this isn’t going to help the baseball season start back up. In fact, if anything, it’ll probably hinder it. The owners and players are already fighting over money, and now the teams are going to be fighting over who gets to sign Big Sexy.

Simple minded people are probably thinking, “Bartolo Colon?! Why would anyone want to sign him?!” Uhhh, I dunno. Maybe it’s because he’s given this sport 21 amazing seasons, 247 wins, and he’s the only MLB player in history who somehow got caught for steroids when I’m pretty sure he’s never lifted a weight in his life. Unless of course you count a fork as a weight.

I know it wouldn’t be ideal for Bart to play this year, especially if MLB implements a universal DH, considering we enjoy seeing him at the plate as much as he enjoys sitting down in front of one. But I’m willing to take that sacrifice.

Look, R.A. Dickey pitched well into his 40s, so why can’t Big Bart? In fact, is R.A. Dickey still pitching? He might be. And he’s gotta be pushing 60 by now. So let Big Sexy pitch. Let him be the new Mr. Macintosh and just hand him a blank check. Do that for two reasons: 1. He’s Bartolo Freaking Colon, and 2. He has multiple families to feed.

The only weird part about this comeback attempt is that he would prefer to play for the Mets.

He added: “If it was up to me, I would retire with the Mets. I would like my career to end in New York.”

Um. Really? I mean, no offense to the Mets, but they’re the Mets. Bartolo must have a knack for getting injuries misdiagnosed by trainers, open schedule to golf in October, and disgruntled mascots.

But look, to each his own, I guess.

Also, did you really think I’d go an entire blog about Bartolo Colon without revisiting the greatest moment in the history of baseball?

The post If A 46-Year-Old Bartolo Colon Wants To Make A Comeback, You Let Him Make A Comeback appeared first on Korked Bats.