The Yankees lost their 14th game out of the last 18 last night, losing to the Red Sox in 10 innings, 5-3, but somehow they still brought home a dub. One of the greatest MLB franchises ever just dropped a bobblehead honoring one of the greatest sitcoms ever, by honoring one of their greatest employees. Not Jeter. Not Gehrig. Not even George Herman Ruth, or George Steinbrenner, but rather a different George. Last night, they dropped a bobblehead in honor of their former assistant to the traveling secretary, George Costanza… and yada, yada, yada, it’s real, and it’s spectacular. It’s about time the Yankees partnered with Vandalay Industries. Seinfeld remains an iconic classic sitcom. And I know the older I get and the longer I hold on to this take, the more and more I sound like my parents honking Three’s Company or my grandparents attesting that The Andy Griffith Show is still the greatest sitcom of all time. But I feel like I still have a few more years to stand by this take before my millennial ass enters boomer territory. Seinfeld is on Netflix right now, so go start it. The first season or two might be a chore to get through, like most shows, but once it gets into a grove, it doesn’t look back for nine seasons – which is almost half as many seasons as it’s been since the Yankees won a World Series.

Look, it’s not often I’ll give the Evil Empire their props, but here I have to tip my cap like that little kid at Jeter’s last game. Here’s hoping Yankee Stadium went full Seinfeld and stocked the concession stands with pretzels that make people thirsty.

P.S. Larry David’s story of firing George Steinbrenner is an all-time story.

The post This Yankees Bobblehead Is Real, And It’s Spectacular appeared first on Korked Bats.

Give ’em a break, it’s many of these people’s first time seeing an animal in the wild.

The post VIDEO: A Breakdown of the Reactions to that Yankee Stadium Squirrel appeared first on Korked Bats.

Are we really doing this again? Apparently, everyone is learning for the first time that MLB Hall of Famer Randy Johnson is a photographer. Seriously? Not to be a Randy Johnson Photography hipster, but how did everyone not know this? I thought we all knew. How is this the first time most people are learning about this? This feels like every few months when the Internet learns that this GIF of Robert Redford is NOT Zach Galifianakis.

And even if many didn’t know about Randy’s post-retirement gig as an Ansel Adams wannabe, I feel like the note of his photography company’s logo went viral just last year. Am I crazy?

Oh cool, Randy chooses to cash in on that bird on his terms apparently, blah blah blah, but when someone else references he gets all “that’s not me” on us. Look, if I sound bitter and annoyed, it’s because I am. If there are two enemies we have at Korked Bats, it’s Dana White for having our Instagram account deactivated and making us start over from scratch and Randy Johnson for blocking us on Instagram. That’s right. Given the fact that many of you are learning about Randy’s passion for polaroids, I’m sure you’re also learning of his passion for the block button.

Just so everyone knows, again, that guy on the subway checking out his mullet WAS. NOT. RANDY.

So naturally, whenever he trends, we hear about it.

Being blocked by the Big Unit is something we have to deal with every single day, and frankly, we wouldn’t wish this feeling upon our worst enemy. Lol, JK, we always wish the worst for Dana White. I mean, imagine being blocked online by a 5-time Cy Young Award winner who you grew up idolizing. That’s a tough pill to swallow. But maybe one day, he’ll unblock us, and we can enjoy the photos of the Grand Canyon or whatever he shares on his protected Instagram page.

P.S. Follow @korkedbats on Instagram! Help us build back what Dana White destroyed.

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In the latest chapter of Aroldis Chapman‘s disappointing 2022 season, the New York Yankees placed their former closer on the 15-day injured list because of what manager Aaron Boone called “a pretty bad infection” on Chapman’s leg, arising from a new tattoo.

via ESPN.com

In the latest chapter of ridiculous baseball injuries…

This may not be Marcell Ozuna getting in the face by a soap dish thrown from his wife or Zach Wheeler missing time after putting on pants, but it’s pretty solid. I mean, an infection for a tattoo is one thing, but an infection for a tattoo on your LEG?! Was it a little heart by his ankle or a full-fledged butterfly on his thigh? Oh, and did he do it before or after rushing his sorority? Look, I don’t want to ink shame. But as a dude, I can’t think of any kind of “leg tattoo” that seems cool. Never has a guy gotten an ink tattoo and I thought, “badass!” Even calf tats are pretty douchey. No offense of course to anyone who has a calf tat. I’m not talking about yours. Yours is cool. I’m talking about every other douche with a calf tat. Like Aroldis Champman.

But regardless, this news is nothing if not funny. Aroldis, a guy who has had his fair share of domestic violence issues, who is now pitching for the Evil Empire getting sidelined because of a leg tattoo? I don’t know if that’s irony, but feels ironic enough to make it into Alanis Morrisette’s song.

Although, he still holds merely the second funniest injury of the day, behind only the Ravens mascot.

The post Have You Ever Been Placed On The I.R. For An Infection From A Leg Tattoo? Because Aroldis Chapman Has! appeared first on Korked Bats.

Over the weekend, during the Yankees-Red Sox game, Fox Sports decided to cut to commercial with a graphics package of the two teams’ logos superimposed into the 9/11 memorial footprints of where the Twin Towers once stood. This of course did not go over very well. With anyone. Now sure is there some things the Internet overreacts to? Of course. Was this one of them? Probably not. Because you just probably shouldn’t use the memorial of one of America’s biggest tragedies to promote your MLB telecast. As you might imagine, Fox Sports has since apologized for their error (no pun intended).

“During tonight’s telecast, we used poor judgment on the use of a graphic. We sincerely apologize and regret the decision,” Fox Sports told the Daily Beast in a statement.

via Mediaite

But this isn’t the only time Fox Sports has crossed the line by superimposing team logos onto moments of and memorials for tragedy. Here are 9 other times Fox may have been insensitive with their graphics packages:

The post 9 Other Times Fox Sports Went Too Far With Their Graphics Packages appeared first on Korked Bats.

Alex Rodriguez struck a pose in front of a red Porsche that looks just like the one he gifted Jennifer Lopez for her 50th birthday, which raises so many questions.

A-Rod posed for, and posted, the pic Wednesday with the caption, “I’m super down to earth,” which ya know … is a joke because along with the Porsche there are 2 more luxury cars behind it.

via TMZ

The caption read “I’m super down to earth” but probably could’ve just stopped after down. You’re not fooling anyone, Alex. Because that’s definitely the ride he gifted J-Lo a couple years ago.

A-Rod… my man… this is as tough for me to type as it probably will be for you to read (he definitely reads Korked Bats), but it’s time to move on. I know, I know. I have been #TeamARod since this entire breakup (and now hook up with Ben Affleck) started. But enough time has passed and enough photos of Ben Affleck looking satisfied as hell have surfaced (see below) to lead me to believe the hope of J-Rod (or A-Lo) is done.

Look at that face. That’s the face of a man who knows everyone hated his Batman, but also knows Jenny from the block loves his back tat.

Plus, if you pair that with the fact that J-Lo recently scrubbed every photo of A-Rod from her social media, well… that’s the nail in the coffin for relationships in 2021. I’m sorry to say it.

Plus, if you pair that with A-Rod’s behavior over the last few months. From the IG stories set to the tune of Coldplay…

To continuing to set a place at the dinner table for J-Lo.

To what might be the worst cry for help yet… starting his own makeup brand for men.

So really, the only thing A-Rod should be doing with J-Lo’s Porsche is standing on the trunk and pissing onto the driver’s seat. Anything other than what he did. Because posting a photo with HER car on your feed is like the modern-day equivalent of putting your crush’s name in really small font on the bio of your Buddy Profile of AOL Instant Messenger back in the day. Just hoping she would see it and respond the way you want. But guess what. It never works. I may or may not know from experience. It’s time to face reality, A-Rod. It’s never going to happen now. Especially not while you’re wearing makeup.

The post UPDATE: A-Rod Is Still Hung Up On J-Lo, Poses With The Red Porsche He Gifted Her appeared first on Korked Bats.

It’s a horror movie.

Take a second to think about it. The entire plot of the movie revolves around a haunted cornfield that forces a man to plow his land and build a baseball field to which LITERAL ghosts walk out to play baseball. How can you say this movie is anything but a horror movie? There’s literally a creepy whispering voice in the cornfields saying things like “If you build it, he will come,” “Go the distance,” and “Ease his pain.” WHO’S PAIN?! AND WHY IS HE IN PAIN? WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM YOU SON OF A BITCH?!

But the lack of being in the sports film genre isn’t the only reason why I don’t have this movie in my top 10. It’s because of the dialogue. Again, not the whole film. It’s a well written movie for the most part, but I always get hung up on one line. And I’m sure you do too.

“Hey dad? ……….you wanna have a catch?”

You “wanna have a catch”?! What the hell is that? HAVE A CATCH?!

No wonder Ray Kinsella had a bad relationship with his father. His dad was a Major League Baseball player and his son says things like “have a catch.” If my kid ever said “have a catch” I’d disown him too. What other baseball idioms does he say wrong? Scoring points? RBI’s?! The Mets are a respectable franchise?!

And for as much as I wanna clown the screenwriter here, I can’t. Because the last line of defense has to be the man who’s mouth it came out of. Kevin Michael Costner. This man should know better than anyone on earth. He’s in more baseball movies than actual baseballs are. How does he not pull the screenwriters aside and say, “Hey fellas, no one in their right mind says ‘Have a catch.’” And then he should’ve gone out there and improvised a new line. The correct line. A line where he says “play catch” rather than have one.

Now look, I will admit. There are small pockets of people out there who do say “have a catch.” And you know what we call those people? Soccer players. You have a Coke. You don’t have a catch. You have a Snickers. You don’t have a catch. If you have a clue, then you say “play catch.” Anyone who asks me if I wanna “have a catch,” I ask them if they wanna have a punch. Hearing Ray Kinsella say “have a catch” makes me wanna walk into a cornfield and never return.

The post Hey Ray Kinsella, It’s “Play Catch,” Not “Have A Catch” You Doofus appeared first on Korked Bats.

Gerrit, who’s already missing a T at the end of his name, was asked point-blank if he’s ever used Spider Tack – which for those of you who aren’t well versed on your common tacks, it’s probably the most efficient when it comes to helping pitchers up their spin rate. So Gerrit was asked about it. Why? Well, for a few reasons:

• He was named by a fired Angels clubhouse attendant who was, at one point, tasked with getting sticky stuff for pitchers
• there’s, ummm, pretty damning video of Gerrit using sticky stuff

Oh, and uhhh, how about this?

• In his first start after MLB announced increased suspensions for players using illegal substances, Gerrit Cole pitched the shortest outing of the season after giving up 5 earned runs against the Rays

I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

And then to cap it all off, Gerrit doesn’t exactly give a strong defense to the question of whether or not he uses Spider Tack.

“Um … I don’t … (long pause) I don’t know, I don’t know if uh … (long pause) I don’t know quite, I don’t quite know how to answer that … I mean … there are customs and practices …. ”

Damn, my man. That was the longest “yes” of all time. You could’ve sung Take Me Out To The Ballgame in the pregnant pauses of that answer. In fact, Gerrit could’ve whipped out a can (or does it come in a tube or a jar?) of Spider Tack right then and said, “Yeah, I use it! And I would’ve gotten away with it had it not been for you pesky kids!” and that answer would’ve made him look less guilty than he does here.

But where could Gerrit Cole have learned about something like this? Where could he have even obtained the secret of the Spider Tack? How did he go from pretty good Pirates ace to inking the richest free-agent pitching contract in history?

Oh, huh. Weird. His ERA was nearly cut in half after joining the *checks notes* Houston Astros. It’s funny how everything Trevor Bauer used to hint at when he would call out the Astros for getting pitchers to increase their spin rates is coming to light now.

Now look, this isn’t a banging trash cans situation. Are the Astros cheating here? Probably. Are they the only team? Definitely not. But with Verlander’s increased spin rate in Houston and Gerrit Cole’s and a bunch of others, the handwriting is on the wall. And it’s written in Spider Tack.

This saga is far from over, and I’m interested to see how it plays out. But before you go dancing on the grave of your most hated pitchers getting caught, just remember your favorite pitcher could very well get ousted soon.

The post Gerrit Cole Could’ve Outright Admitted To Using Spider Tack & Wouldn’t Have Sounded As Guilty As His Actual Answer appeared first on Korked Bats.

Perhaps Alex Rodriguez is trying to manifest Jennifer Lopez back into his life, as he set his dinner table with three additional table settings. The former slugger shared a photo of a family dinner with his two daughters, Natasha and Ella, and revealed the three empty plates, which, in theory, could be for Lopez and her two kids, Max and Emme. betrally

via Page Six

A-Rod is down bad.

Like real bad. Setting a place setting at the dinner table who broke up with you over a month ago? And this comes weeks after he posted that insanely sad Instagram story with Fix You playing in the background.

It’s the blue heart with her IG handle in the lower right corner for me.

Look, my man A-Rod is going through it right now. Just absolutely brutal. You may hate A-Rod, whether it be from his cheating, then his lying about cheating, and then his admission to cheating, and then his pretty annoying baseball commentary, and then his face plastered everywhere because of his relationship with J-Lo, but you can’t deny it sucks going through a breakup. I mean, it is kinda funny to see HIM go through it, but it does suck.

But probably the saddest part of this whole thing is that a 45-year-old grown-ass man openly uses the word “din din. اندرويد كازينو ”

You want that knife to be twisted a little bit?

“He truly thought they would be able to make it work and reconnect,” a Lopez source told E! News. “He has been reaching out to J.Lo trying to meet with her and she has been very short with him.”

You want the knife twisted even more? With a SAW movie level of gore?

She broke up with A-Rod to date this dude.

Maybe it’s the sports fan in me or just my pure-blooded disdain of all things Ben Affleck’s Batman, but I’m actually on #TeamARod here. He was a Yankee. She’s still Jenny from the block. They weren’t in Gigli together. It was a perfect match. So go win her back buddy! You got this. Keep setting that place at the table and maybe one day it will be filled.

The post A-Rod Is Still Setting A Place At The Family Dinner Table For J-Lo But He’s Doing Fine, Why Do You Ask? appeared first on Korked Bats.

Ugh. I’m a Dodgers fan and even I’m annoyed. So I guess LeBron is all in on the Dodgers now? Great. Add them to the list of teams he supports.

Look, LeBron isn’t the first celebrity to move to L.A. and adopt the Dodgers. And he sure as hell won’t be the last. But it’s not just a Dodgers thing with him. In fact, LeBron is the worst kind of sports fan. The person who moves to a new town and automatically adopts the team in their new city. BUT – and this is an important distinction – only if that team is good.

LeBron’s sports fandom has wavered so much, so there’s plenty of evidence to back our claim. If you remember, early in LeBron’s first stint with the Cavs, he famously wore his Yankee lid to a 2007 Yankees-Indians postseason game in Cleveland.

This obviously didn’t sit well with Cleveland. But as a sports fan, you have to respect it. Not the fact that he grew up rooting for the Yankees in arguably one of the easiest eras to root for the Yankees, especially when he grew up a Chuck Knoblauch throw away from Cleveland. No, you have to respect that he didn’t waver on his childhood team to cow-tail to the home crowd. He took flack for doing what he did, but you have to respect that he stayed true to his (already really good) team.

However, the Indians ended up winning that series, and in the ALCS, LeBron was in a produced video by the Cavs wishing the Indians luck. Still not the worst thing in the world. You could chalk this up as good sportsmanship rather than bandwagoning. So let’s move on.

Then came 2016, when the Indians were in the American League Championship Series, and wouldn’t ya know it… who was right there in a box to watch the team decked out in Tribe gear?

Now, you may be thinking, “So what? The guy likes to pull for the other teams in the city he’s currently playing in.” Yeah, you’d think that, wouldn’t you? Except what about when he spent five years with the Miami Heat? Did you notice he didn’t really adopt the Marlins at all?

Oh yeah, that’s probably why.

But now the guy has been in Los Angeles for like two seconds and he’s already live tweeting Dodgers postseason games. I’m sorry, LeBron. But you’re the WORST kind of fan. And it’s not just with baseball.

Sure, he’s a Yankees fan, but he’s also a Cowboys fan.

And he’s a Kentucky fan as well.

And wouldn’t ya know it, now he’s a Lakers fans too.

Shawwwwwwwker. He literally just hit for the douchey sports fan cycle right there. I mean, LeBron is the exact kind of sports fan we all joke about.

But let’s be real, we all know someone like this. Maybe they grew up a Twins fan, but when a job relocated them to Chicago, they adopted the Cubs… during their 2016 run to the World Series. Or maybe they moved from St. Louis to Washington D.C. and were all in on the Capitals during their Cup run in 2018, until 2019 when they remembered they were from St. Louis and became all in on the Blues for their Cup run. And I can’t even imagine the number of Instagram influencers who recently migrated to Nashville and are hopping on the Titans bandwagon now that they’re undefeated. The point here is no matter these people’s geographical location… they suck.

They’re not even bandwagon fans. Bandwagons move slow, and you normally stay on them until you get where you need to go. These are Frequent Flyer Fans. Because they jet set from team to team. Racking up milage and championships as they go.

And LeBron is just that. A frequent flyer fan. He spends as much time with each team as he does with each book.

He never gets past the first few pages.

Now look, LeBron, I know you never went to college, LeBron, but let me teach you something real quick: The word fan is short for fanatic. And you can’t be fanatic about a team if you’re changing every other year. So pick a team, and stick with them. If you picked the Cowboys after their mid-90s run, that’s now your cross to bear for life. You chose the Yankees? Congrats, you now have to watch Aaron Judge bump his head trying to rob home runs.

Side note: How does LeBron have 47.9 million Twitter followers? That question was redundant, because obviously I know. He very well could go down as the second greatest – if not greatest – NBA player in history. He’s one of the biggest and baddest athletes on the planet right now. I know why people follow him. But honestly, he kinda sucks on Twitter.

The post LeBron James Is The Worst Kind Of Sports Fan appeared first on Korked Bats.