The NFL’s legal tampering window opened today at noon, and let me just say the tampering has been alive and well. So much tampering. Some might say too much tampering, but in my opinion, there can never be too much tampering. But look, if you’re going to legalize tampering, you have to expect to see some tampin.

Well, everyone except the Titans apparently. They pretty much have five offensive linemen openings to fill (four if you count them inevitably re-signing Dennis Daley) and yet, the only tampin’ they did was by signing a backup tackle. C’mon, Titans. What gives? It’s tampin’ time! So start tampin’!

Instead of watching the Titans tamp with the best of ’em, we’ve instead seen the best of ’em do the tampin’ the Titans should be doing. Especially in the trenches. Check out all the o-linemen tamps from today.

Even the Bears tamped one of the Titans own.

That’s a lot of o-lineman on the move, and not one of ’em got tamped by the Titans. In fact, there was very little tampin’ by the Titans. And look, I get it. The Titans only have enough cap space to shop at Aldi’s, but still, you’d think they maybe do a little tampin. Give it a nice little tampy. Tamp, tamp tamparoo.

At very least announce you’ve restructured some contracts to clear up some cap space. Allow yourself a little spending money to maybe upgrade to Trader Joe’s.

But nope. The Buffalo Bills did that instead. That’s not even a tamp. At this point, we don’t even need a tamp, Titans. Just do something. This is a franchise currently sitting on a 7-game losing streak. We haven’t been happy since a mid-season Thursday night in Green Bay. Please, just tamp a little. Or don’t and do something else.

But hey, at least they re-signed David Long.

Oh son of a bitch.

The post Tampering SZN Has Begun With So Many Tamps And Everyone Is Tampin’ But The Titans appeared first on Korked Bats.

The post VIDEO: Derrick Henry’s On The Trading Block? We Obviously Have Thoughts appeared first on Korked Bats.

ANSWER: The same thing.

All of these quarterbacks were good. Keyword: were. But unfortunately, by the time they slapped the horseshoe on their bonnets, their best days were behind them. It would be like bragging about dating Kelly McGillis from Top Gun. Back in the day, kudos.

But today?

Don’t get me wrong, Matt Ryan is the best available quarterback the Colts could’ve landed this offseason. At least among quarterbacks who aren’t currently facing 22 outstanding lawsuits alleging sexual assault. There’s no argument there. But this move feels like bragging about hooking up with the most popular girl in school at your 25-year reunion. Does it even matter anymore? For whatever reason, the Colts only find matches on their dating apps with quarterbacks whose primes have passed. No pun intended. (But I kinda wish that pun was at least slightly intended.) Again, Matt Ryan is the best quarterback they could’ve gotten this year. For sure. But let’s not act like signing Matt Ryan in the year of our Lord 2022 is like signing Matt Ryan in the year of our Lord 2016.

“But he didn’t have weapons in Hotlanta! Their team was hot garbage!” Maybe. But the Falcons are more stacked offensively (aside from running back) than the Colts right now. In terms of passing targets, pretty sure anyone would take Cordarelle Patterson, Calvin Ridley (before he went Pete Rose), and Kyle Pitts over Michael Pittman Jr., a broken futon, and a dirty hamper full of poopy underwear. And that’s who Matt Ryan had last year, and even with those pieces and an extra game, Matt Ryan still failed to throw for over 4,000 yards for the first time since 2010, he threw for the second-fewest touchdowns in his career, and he failed to win more than 8 games for the fourth straight season. Not to mention, his QBR has steadily declined in just about every season since his MVP year with last year being the biggest dropoff in his career.

“But, but, he’ll be paired with Frank Reich who is a quarterback guru and will be able to pull the best out of him yet again!” Didn’t we hear this last year?

“You’re just a hater.” Of the Colts? Yes. But of Matt Ryan? Not at all. If they made this deal immediately after Andrew Luck got booed off the field for choosing not to get his ass physically kicked anymore, then sure, it’s a grand slam trade. But they didn’t. Which is why they only had to give up a third-rounder for him. Pretty sure the offensive guru known as Arthur Smith wouldn’t have let him walk for such a cheap price if he felt he could get anything more out of him. There’s clearly something there we don’t know. Plus, Matt Ryan is 36. He’ll be almost 37 and a half by the time Week 1 kicks off. What’s the end game here? Hope to get a year out of him? Maybe two? Then you’re right back where you are right now.

And look, the Colts have Jonathan Taylor so do they need an elite quarterback? No, not really. It’s the same situation in Tennessee. They don’t need a Tesla at quarterback when they have a Ferrari in their backfield. All they need is a reliable Toyota Camry to get them from point A to point B. The only thing is, the Camry the Colts just brought in is a 2007 model with close to 200,000 miles on it.

But hey, if the Colts are into cougars, that’s their thing. To each his own, I guess. They were in two serious marriages with two generational talents for the better part of two decades, but since? Well… Some people just love the chase. And one night year stands.

But should we try and guess which washed quarterback will be an Indianapolis Colt this time next year? Because my money is on Andy Dalton.

The post Well, The Colts Certainly Have A Type appeared first on Korked Bats.

I know you clicked on this blog expecting to immediately read some low-level analysis on this news, but just give me a minute, please.

Play this song all the way through and then I’ll be in a better headspace to hit on this.

I knew this one was coming. And yet it still hurts. Like buying a goldfish. You know that relationship is going to end with you flushing it down the toilet, but it doesn’t make it any easier when you lift the toilet seat up to actually do it. D’Onta Foreman was great in his limited time with the Titans. Foreman was everything we thought Adrian Peterson would be. He ran hard, he ran fast, and other than that random fumble on his big run against the Patriots, he was flawless.

I knew it was unlikely he would be back in two-toned blue next season. For a number of reasons: He played too well in his limited time this season, the Titans are in salary cap hell, and he’ll always be RB2 behind the best back in the league. So I entered this offseason knowing Derrick Mini-Me would not be back. I knew he would find a better situation because he earned it. He earned himself a bigger role and a bigger payday from another team that can give that to him. But it doesn’t make it any less easy. It’s like that scene in Air Bud when that kid made Air Bud run away.

Only I am that dweeby kid in the nondescript hat and D’Onta is Air Bud. Sometimes if you love something hard enough, you have to set them free. And if they love you back and you have enough cap space, they’ll return.

Best of luck, D’Onta Foreman – the greatest running back from Texas in franchise history. (Other than Earl Campbell.)

The post D’Onta Foreman Is A Panther, And I Am An Emotional Wreck appeared first on Korked Bats.

First, for those shouting, “Who cares?!” Well, you clicked on this link so clearly you do. And second, like it or not, this is news in 2022, because this is how Gen Z and some of us millennials handle ourselves. When you break up with someone or want to rid them out of your life, you unfollow them. All I’ll say, is it’s nice to know Kyler Murray acts the same age he looks.

Is it lame? Of course. But is it telling? Also, of course. I dunno what went wrong with the Arizona Cardinals other then the fact that teaming up JJ Watt and DeAndre Hopkins on the same field yet again clearly rekindled some of that Texans Magic they always used to provide. You know how their teams always used to be at the top of the NFL until the playoffs rolled around and they pooped the bed. That’s exactly what the Cardinals did this year.

And for a guy whose IG handle is simply @K1 and has most of his IG stories highlights in order, he knows exactly what he’s doing in the social media game. So it’s not by accident. It went down hours after competing in the Pro Bowl, which I will admit, is a better activity to follow through with than whatever the hell Alvin Kamara did. But the weird thing is, he’s not a free agent this March. He’s played out the first three years of his rookie deal and has a fifth-year option by the team that will likely be exercised this offseason before he even plays his fourth year. So I don’t know where he thinks he’s going or what he thinks this is accomplishing. Unless he’s making the jump to baseball, which could ultimately pay him more in the long run… but that’s only if owners quit being jackasses and start to negotiate with their product. Kyler has a cap hit of $11,386,841 for the 2022 season. But it’s not like the A’s will be able to meet that. Maybe they can hook him up with a few free sodas from their clubhouse vending machine though.

Do I think this is going to lead to anything of substance? No. I think Kyler will be in Arizona again next year. But as I do whenever a high-profile player seemingly becomes available, I always picture how they’d look in my team’s colors, whether it makes sense or not. In this case, it doesn’t really make sense. But I’d still be cool if Kyler Murray scooted his lil’ 5’4″ body over to Nashville. Yeah, I know I just dropped a video explaining why I still think Tannehill is the guy for the Titans, but bring Kyler in anyway. I don’t think he’d make the Titans any better – as he proved down the stretch of this season (and during this Instagram stunt) that he does not respond to adversity very well. So that paired with the fact that he can’t ride most rollercoasters make me think it’s a pipedream. But it’s still fun to think about.

The post The Very Mature Kyler Murray Has Unfollowed The Arizona Cardinals On Instagram appeared first on Korked Bats.

I gotta be honest, I’m also sick of hearing about the Aaron Rodgers drama which feels like it’s been going on for years. Oh, wait, it has?? Right. But I have to hand it to Aaron, not only does he have a fantastic first name, I’ve never seen a more brutally honest news conference regarding a player’s status in the organization.

He lays out all the facts starting with how he feels certain players were disrespected by the Packers organization. This situation has been bubbling more than my college roommate’s bong, just waiting to explode.

Aaron goes on to say how the Packers refused to include Aaron in conversations surrounding both draft picks and free agency. As he mentioned, Green Bay isn’t necessarily the type of destination you dreamed of living in out of college or even moving your family to the frozen tundra in the middle of your career. It’s sort of like moving to Cleveland. I wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemy.

I’ve gotta tip my hat to Aaron. We need more news conferences like this, just brutally honest. Perhaps the best part of the whole thing was this slight towards the Packers organization.

Aaron knew exactly what he was doing. LMFAO! I love you Aaron.

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Austin and I hit on the Aaron Rodgers drama, living in stadiums, Kanye West, JuJu Smith-Schuster’s new condom deal, and a lot more on this week’s Junk Drawer. Join us as we go LIVE every Monday at 5pm EST and comment along as we talk Junk.

WATCH:

LISTEN:

The post It’s Time We Give Aaron Rodgers Some Credit appeared first on Korked Bats.

Don’t believe CTE is real? Aaron Rodgers just held the entire Packers franchise hostage for an entire offseason for the only demand of… Randall Cobb??

No offense to Randall Cobb, but he’s Randall Cobb. I don’t think Randall Cobb would be Randall Cobb’s mom’s first choice when it comes to building an offense. Don’t get me wrong, Randall Cobb is great. I mean, he made a Pro Bowl once. But this is Aaron Rodgers. This is last year’s MVP (even though it should’ve been Derrick Henry) we’re talking about. He should be able to pull whoever he wants to Green Bay. He’s the caliber of player where he could’ve asked for Derrick Henry, Deandre Hopkins, and the ghost of Red Grange and the Packers probably would’ve moved mountains to make it happen. But instead, they’ll have to give up – what? – a 7th round pick at most for R.C.? Hell, with the way the Texans make trades, they may just give Randall Cobb to the Packers for free.

Imagine being the Packers brass and being willing to trade for anyone to keep your franchise quarterback happy and him saying he only wants Randall Cobb. Are you serious? That’s all?? If you’re the Packers do you still pretend like that’s a big ask? Do you act like it’s going to be really hard to trade for Cobb? You have to, right? That way it seems like you really moved those mountains for him. This whole situation feels like someone sticking up a bank and the bank robber only asks the teller to give him all the lollipops.

Aaron Rodgers always seemed like a smart guy, a guy who had all the answers. And I’m not just saying that because he hosted Jeopardy. But now? I’m not so sure. Felt like he kind of botched this whole offseason. The whole time he was in Hawaii with Shailene Woodley and Miles Teller, he was thinking of Randall Cobb. That shouldn’t be normal for one of the sports best quarterbacks. If he holds out next season, who’s he going to demand? Tyler Eifert? Austin Ekeler? Shoot for the stars, Aaron. That way if you fall short, you’re still amongst the Randall Cobbs.

The post Imagine Holding An NFL Team Hostage For An Entire Offseason With Your Only Demand Being… Randall Cobb?? appeared first on Korked Bats.

Watch your mouth, Tom Brady. Sheesh.

I’ve spent a lot of time looking into this. Enough time to where, if my wife knew how much time I spent digging, she’d be upset why I didn’t utilize that time for more important things… like still unpacking the boxes in my office. But I can’t help it. I’m locked into this story. I want to know the team Brady was referring to. So with the teaser, paired with this new clip, I’ve been able to conduct a little more narrowing down. Let’s look at the teams in question and see which one’s we think they are.

8. New Orleans Saints

Motherf*cker In Question: Drew Brees

This is the least likely team on the board that Tom was probably referring to. Everyone outside of Atlanta has respect for Drew Brees. Tom included. I don’t think the Saints were ever a serious contender and then even less so once the big birthmark decided to come back. So let’s go ahead and pretend this is the playoffs and eliminate the Saints early.

7. L.A. Chargers

Motherf*cker In Question: nobody

After Phil bolted for the Colts (do you get it?), the Chargers were without a set QB1. Thus why they drafted Justin Herbert. So Brady technically couldn’t have been referring to the Chargers. But probably best for all parties involved. Imagine if the Chargers team doctor stabbed Brady in the lung instead of Tyrod Taylor. Would’ve been the second time we would’ve had to put up with Brady and deflategate.

6. L.A. Rams

Motherf*cker In Question: Jared Goff

This one is possible, sure. Jared Goff has all the qualities and characteristics of a motherf*cker. Not sure how Brady would’ve felt playing for a preteen head coach, so that could play into the “I was never going to go there anyway” line. And it’s very believable to see Brady wanting to do the Rams in free agency just like he did in Super Bowl 36, by stringing them along only to kill them in the final minutes. But he made it seem like the team that passed on him actively chose their current starter over him. And let’s be honest, no one on earth is choosing Jared Goff over Tom Brady. Not even Jared Goff’s mom.

5. Las Vegas Raiders

Motherf*cker In Question: Derek Carr (but also maybe Marcus Mariota)

The Raiders are a possibility, sure, as both Derek Carr and his backup, Marcus Mariota, could make a 5-time Super Bowl MVP very frustrated if a team chose them over him. I could imagine this would make someone refer to them as a motherf*cker too. But it’s important to remember that when it comes to the Raiders, Brady could’ve just been stringing them along because the ball leaving the quarterback’s hands is considered a forward pass even if the quarterback intends not to pass the ball, but instead continues the forward motion to tuck the ball back into his body.

4. Indianapolis Colts

Motherf*cker In Question: Philip Rivers? Probably not, so Jacoby Brissett?

A lot of people like to assume Brady was talking about his former protege, when referring to the motherf*cker, which is why many believe it was the San Francisco 49ers. And that might be true. But what if he was referring to his OTHER protege? Jacoby Brissett anyone? Remember the Colts announced they signed Philip Rivers on the day before or the day after Brady signed with Tampa. So it’s possible, sure. But let’s be real. The Colts were never really in this thing seriously. Brady’s not getting Manning’s sloppy seconds.

3. Chicago Bears

Motherf*cker In Question: Mitchell Trubisky

This team definitely fits the mold of “I was never going to go there anyway.” Because Brady has said before he didn’t want to play in another cold-weather city like New England, and Mitchell Trubisky is often referred to as a “motherf*cker.” So this very well could be the team, but let’s be real. The Bears are to quarterbacks what the L.A. Angles are for superstars. Just complete and utter black holes of talent suckers. Pujols, Josh Hamilton, both Upton brothers, Mike Trout, and now (hopefully not) Shohei Ohtani. And you don’t even want me listing old Bears quarterbacks.

2. San Francisco 49ers

Motherf*cker In Question: Jimmy Garoppolo

This is the front runner for the bunch. Everyone thinks Brady’s talking about Jimmy G. as the M-F’r. I’ll admit, it makes a lot of sense. Brady is from Norther California. He grew up a Niners fan. I’m sure he would’ve loved to finish his career in red and gold.

But this is also too obvious. Brady, in my opinion, is more calculated than that. Now sure, if you slip a few kombuchas in him, he’ll probably loosen up a bit and maybe start to say things he shouldn’t, but I don’t think that’s the case.

1. Tennessee Titans

Motherf*cker In Question: Ryan Tannehill

You can see my reasons as to why I think the Titans are the team he’s referring to.

If you remember, when heading into 2020 free agency, the Titans had to lock up either Ryan Tannehill or Derrick Henry and place the other on the franchise tag, unless they were going to sign another quarterback, like a Tom Brady, in free agency. But almost a full week before Brady signed with the Bucs, the Titans resigned Tannehill to a 4-year, $118 million deal. I have been told on good authority that the Bucs brass really thought Brady was going to Tennessee before the Titans re-signed Tannehill. And as I’ve stated above, Brady really wanted to play in a warm-weather city. Nashville is NOT a warm-weather city, which makes Tennessee fit the “I was never going to go there anyway” line. And there were those rumors that Brady and Gisele were seen at MBA looking at schools. Whether it was true or not, it fits the bill of this theory. Plus, after last year’s COVID practices, we all know how bad MBA kids are keeping their mouths shut.

Look, we all know Brady was extremely pissed after getting bounced from the playoffs, especially by a guy who 1. he’s beaten within the division for the 6 years prior and 2. only put up 72 yards passing in that game. So when a team signs him a week before he decides to go to Tampa, he’s probably even more livid. So to me, the Tennessee Titans make the most sense. Now, obviously, I’m also the biggest Titans homer, so maybe I’m coming at this thing from too close to the two-toned blue, but I’ve also yet to hear a better explanation with the dots better aligning for another team.

Will we ever know for sure? Probably. Brady will turn this into a quick buck after he retires either by doing some sort of lame documentary again or by writing a tell-all book. But for right now, we won’t. So let’s continue to speculate. And if you find out any more tidbits, DM me on Twitter. I really want to stay hard on this case.

The post Tom Brady Said “I’m Going To F*** You Up” To The Team In Free Agency That Passed On Him, So Which Team Was It? appeared first on Korked Bats.

Rex Burkhead? I legit thought Rex Burkhead has been out of the league for like three or four years now? Maybe I feel that way because, to me, Rex Burkhead is the Toby Gerhart of Danny Woodhead’s. Hell, he’s so old, I call him T-Rex Burkhead! #sickburn Ok, he’s only 30. But in running back years, that’s 82. He might as well be a jogging back at this point, because pretty soon, my man’s gonna be hitting holes using a walker. But that’s enough about Rex and his old balls. This is less about him and more about the Texans. They’ve become your friend who dated one older woman and now they only have an appetite for grandmas. They’re the Paul Finch of the NFL.

It used to be whenever the Texans made a dumb personnel decision, we could just chalk this up as a dumb franchise decision made by that walking chin dimple Bill O’Brien. In fact, this whole old running back addiction all started last year when the Texans traded the best wideout in the sport for a guy who had one good season… in 2016…. in David Johnson. Sure, we had our laughs. It was funny. But now it’s getting serious. BOB’s been gone for months now and they’re still making head-scratching roster moves. There’s no excuse for this anymore. They have a legit problem. Check out their current running back roster:

• David Johnson
• Mark Ingram
• Philip Lindsay
• Rex Burkhead
• Dontrell Hilliard

I know Philip Lindsay and Dontrell Hillard are fairly young, but Philip Lindsay was a hot rookie years ago and Dontrell Hillard’s name alone makes him sound like he’s 63-years-old. But as for the other guys, Mark Ingram is this generation’s Frank Gore, and as noted above, David Johnson was a one-hit-wonder over half a decade ago. I know this because I owned him in fantasy in 2017… the year after his good year. At this rate, who’s next to sign with the Texans? Peyton Hillis? They gonna take a run a Shaun Alexander? Maybe kick the tires on Rashard Mendenhall? How long before the Texans give Ahman Green a call? All I’m saying is the Texans need to have a talking to. As a Titans fan, trust me, I think it’s hilarious, but at some point, they’re going to get some geriatric running back killed by wheeling him out against an AFC South defense.

And look, I’m not coy to the fact that it’s gotta be difficult to be in the same division as Derrick Henry. And we’re not just saying that because this is The #1 Derrick Henry Fan Site On The Internet, but because it’s true. But Texans, repeat after me… anything Bill O’Brien WOULD do, don’t do. WWBOBD? Don’t.

Anyway, let’s laugh at the Texans.

The post It’s Time For An Intervention, The Texans Are Addicted To Signing Old Running Backs appeared first on Korked Bats.

Austin, myself, and Grit are back with Episode 44 and the latest installment of The Junk Drawer.

NFL Free Agency has been absolutely bananas so far but first we had to talk about Drew Brees’ retirement. Let’s just say Drew’s “retirement to spend more time with his kids” didn’t last very long.

Grit and myself have punishments from bets to pay up on. Grit owes us a TikTok from last year’s NLCS, and I owe a punishment for naming Betty Crocker as a woman last week. Yikes.

It’s an exciting week in the sports world. With free agency signing left and right, and, finally, the long-awaited NCAA Tournament. MARCH. MADNESS. We’ve waited an entire year for this “One Shining Moment”. Grit tries to guess all 6 orange teams in the Midwest region of the bracket. He gets painstakingly close.

Our only problem with the tourney this year is that the play-in games don’t start until Thursday???? So now we have to wait until Friday, as opposed to Thursday, for the official beginning of the tournament. I guess that old saying “all good things are worth waiting for” holds true.

LISTEN HERE

RUNDOWN

0:59​ – Nick Markakis Shout Out

2:06​ – Our Glacier Boyz Are Finals(?) Bound

8:18​ – The Good, The Back, & The Ugly – A.D.

10:39​ – Drew Brees Pulled A Jason Witten

19:21​ – A.D.’s Disdain For Cam Newton Is Strong

29:21​ – GRIT TIK TOK AND A.D. BET UPDATE

37:09​ – The Good, The Back, & The Ugly – Grit

45:20​ – Jameis Winston Explains A Play With Boom’s and Bop’s

47:14​ – The Good, The Back, & The Ugly – Austin

47:22​ – True Love Does Exist

1:01:15​ – Sad Austin Hair Update :(

1:08:53​ – Why Are The Play-In Games On Thursday?

1:12:57​ – FRANK FACT

The post The Junk Drawer: NFL Free Agency, March Madness, & When Are Grit & A.D. Paying Their Punishments? appeared first on Korked Bats.