If you’re even remotely into sports and/or mustard, you probably heard about what happened on Saturday night in the Tennessee-Ole Miss game. With just under a minute to go, the game was paused because 100,000+ Tennessee fans started throwing things onto the field. الرهانات الرياضية Ok, not everyone. But at very least one guy with a golf ball. افضل كازينو اون لاين So on The Junk Drawer this week, we decided to rank the Top 11 Things Tennessee Fans Threw On The Field.

Check out the rest of this week’s Junk Drawer here:

Or watch the full podcast on YouTube.

The post The Top 11 Things Tennessee Fans Threw Onto The Field Against Ole Miss appeared first on Korked Bats.

You could be under a highway overpass during a solar eclipse, and still not see as much shade as we got in this AL.com tweet going scored earth on the Gulf Coast beaches of Mississippi.

Oh, so Lane Kiffin takes shots at Nick Saban on the reg? So what? The Magnolia State’s beaches have way more fecal coliform bacteria. So there! Hashtag sick burn.

Honestly, I don’t even know what this means? Fecal coliform bacteria? What is that? Poop? Mississippi’s beaches have more poop than Alabama’s? Ok. I think we all could’ve assumed this. Where’s the news? If you go to the Gulf, you have to expect a little bit of poop in your sand. This isn’t a knock on the beaches down there. They’re great. It’s just they’re great in a “probably have poop in their sand” kinda way.

Also, we should consider the source of this news. In a day and age where Fox News will report things like “Republicans Are Scientifically More Attractive Than Democrats” and MSNBC will deliver headlines like “Studies Show Democrats Are More Successful Humans Than People Who Vote Republican,” naturally we’re going to get a pro-Alabama headline from a website with the domain AL.com. I’d be willing to be if these fecal coliform bacteria tests came back flipped the other way, I doubt this would make even make the AL.com website, which only plays into the depth of rivalries in the south. It just means more, right? Yeah. And in Mississippi, it just means more fecal coliform bacteria.

Mississippi, I don’t know what you’ll be able to pull out, but you need to come back strong against Alabama. Don’t take this lying down. Your state school’s baseball team just won a College World Series title. You guys got a new flag this year. You’ve got chubby Lane Kiffin!

Use it to your advantage and clap back at Alabama who has the nerve to call your beaches poopy. Hell, cross the state line and poop on their beaches! That should even the playing field. And frankly, as an innocent bystander, I can’t wait to see how this plays out.

The post Move Over Iron Bowl, The Biggest Rivalry In The South Is Now The Alabama-Mississippi Fecal Coliform Bacteria Beach Rivalry appeared first on Korked Bats.

If you watched the Outback Bowl the other day, you were treated to not only a solid football game between Ole Miss and Indiana, but also ESPN’s sideline reporter Cole Cubelic going absolutely ballistic on a Bloomin’ Onion from Outback Steakhouse.

Like, my gahhh.

Dude was chowing down like Joey Chestnut after a month-long fast. Mrs. Cubelic, you need to feed your man more than you do. Cole was like WORK CAN WAIT, I NEEDSTA EAT! And eat he did. But hey, I ain’t complaining, because it was hilarious. And I’m sure Outback ain’t complaining. Cole eating that Bloomin’ Onion like it was a goat and he was the T-Rex from Jurassic Park was probably the best advertisement for Outback of all time.

In fact, now I want a Bloomin’ Onion. I’ll talk to you guys later.

The post A Breakdown of Cole Cubelic Eating A Bloomin’ Onion appeared first on Korked Bats.

The following ideas are all real, from the list of over 2,000 submissions, all of which you can see for yourself at this site.

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Let’s go ahead and start here. It’s… well… something. Let me see if I understand this completely. This is a Christian catfish, smoking a cigar, drinking a beer and moonshine, and fishing while protecting a front porch that is invested with mice. Oh, and there’s a banjo.

If Mississippi is looking for something different, this is definitely that. Especially considering none of the other 49 states have political cartoons as state flags.

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Ok, we actually made a very similar design as a joke. But someone actually submitted this for real.

Kudos to that person.

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Is that a Christmas tree? If so, I vote yes. Who doesn’t love Christmas and/or the holiday season? This way, Mississippi will have that spirit flying above their state all year. It’d be like that Disney Channel original movie Halloweentown, but for Christmas!

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This flag looks eerily similar to St. Louis’s city flag and–wait a minute. Was this design submitted by Russia? Dammit. First our elections, now our flag design contests?! Leave us alone, Putin!!

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“I like this one,” said the guy who designed the cover of the Beatles’ White Album

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This looks more like the state flag of a Hallmark store. Only thing it’s missing is a Precious Moments figurine.

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This one was expected.

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Picking up some major IF YOU’RE STILL READING THIS IT’S TOO LATE by Drake vibes here.

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As the second most obese state in America, I actually find this flag design to be one of the most recognizable flags in the union. One look and you’d know immediately it’s Mississippi. Piece of cake.

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Ok, this one is just a PowerPoint slide.

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This one is honoring Mississippi’s state bird, the mosquito.

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Lobster and (low) carbs. I can respect it. Probably one of the healthier flags submitted.

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Alright, who let Jerry Jones submit this?

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If I can be 100% honest for a second, I would respect the hell out of Mississippi if they rolled out a flag that was designed on MS Paint.

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Glad to see Mike Leach was able to get his submission in.

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Ok, I love this one… but with only one stipulation. It has to be made on a paper towel. Pretty sure no other state has a flag made out of paper towel! Not only does it exude state pride, but it would also be able to clean up juice spills. More than the leading competitor too!

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Ok, I don’t think this one’s gonna be picked.

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And that was only 17 of the more than TWO-THOUSAND submissions. I’m sure you can only imagine what the others looked like.

To check out the ideas we had, check here:

The post The Submissions For Mississippi’s New State Flag Are More Insane Than You Could’ve Guessed appeared first on Korked Bats.

It’s a step in the right direction, but the biggest question still remains: what should the new flag look like? It’s a fair question. But don’t worry, we’ve got an answer. We came up with a bunch of definitely real and mature designs that the state of Mississippi should adopt.

So let’s help The Magnolia State out and run through some of these potential new flags…

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Let’s start here. To me, this is the obvious choice for a few reasons. كيفية لعب القمار For one, it embodies the spirit of the Egg Bowl – the state’s greatest sporting event and one of the SEC’s greatest rivalries. You may think Mississippi State fans won’t like an Ole Miss player on their state flag, but remember, State won this game. And in large part because of this celebration. Also, who wouldn’t want a guy peeing on the confederate flag on their state flag? Hell, most guys in the south already have Calvin peeing on things on the back of their pickup trucks. so how would Elijah Moore doing it be any different?

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But let’s talk realistically. Maybe cost is an issue? We need to change the flag, but maybe we can’t alter it too much because of the logistics that go into an overhaul like that (I clearly know nothing about what it takes to change a flag)? If that’s the deal, then I’d assume only minor tweaks to the flag can be made. In which case, let’s just make multiple pissing Elijah Moores. It’s the age old question: would you rather have one giant Elijah Moore pissing on a confederate flag or 13 mini-Elijah Moore’s pissing on a confederate flag?

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Speaking of the greatest sporting event in Mississippi, this year it got so much better by adding two of the biggest names in coaching: Mike Leach and Lane Kiffin.

It reminds me of the movie FACE/OFF (only with a lot less random doves flying in churches?). That movie was not only snubbed for Best Picture, but it also brought together two of the biggest names in Hollywood at the time, Nic Cage (before he was broke) and John Travolta (before he got all weird with Scientology). So why not make the Mississippi flag look like the movie poster from FACE/OFF? Except it has Leach and Kiffin’s face on it.

Plus, when Mike Leach pulled Lane Kiffin’s mask the other day, it was kind of like he was doing that weird face thing from FACE/OFF.

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This one is just because the state of Mississippi looks like Bart Simpson’s face.

Don’t believe me?

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If Brett Favre is from your state, I don’t know why you wouldn’t show off the gunslinger every chance you get? And if you use a picture of Brett Favre, you also have to make sure Crocs are involved.

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This is just a literal egg bowl. It showcases one of the SEC’s greatest rivalry games while simultaneously NOT showcasing the flag of an army that not only lost a war but tried to divide away from America for a primary reason of keeping slaves. So what would you rather have? Eggs or a constant reminder of one of the biggest losses in SEC history? I’m going eggs!

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Why not adopt the flag design from South Carolina? Only instead of a palmetto tree and a crescent moon, you get Mississippi native Lacey Chambert (the girl who played Gretchen Wieners) and a Toaster Strudel.

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Speaking of adopting flag ideas, why not copy Indiana’s homework? Except you should change it up a little so it’s not obvious you copied. Just replace the torch with a bottle of Pine-Sol – which was invented in Mississippi (not to brag).

Maybe even make the flag scented like some sort of scratch-n-sniff sticker? With it flapping in the wind, people all over the southeast will be asking, “What’s that smell?” It’s the fresh lemon-scented Pine-Sol. It would take up to three bottles of Lysol to get that fresh, clean smell.

Choose the power of Pine-Sol. And the smell of clean.

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Ok, we’re not done stealing other state’s flag ideas yet. Now, sure Arizona has one of the most iconic (and one of the best, in my opinion) state flags, but here you’d be making inherently better by replacing the star with a can of Barq’s Root Beer. Why? Because Barq’s is from Mississippi. More people should know that. If Illinois is the Land of Lincoln and North Carolina is First In Flight, why isn’t Mississippi known as the Brewer of Barq’s?

You mean to tell me the south takes more pride in the confederacy then the sweet tasting carbonated syrup that is Barq’s Root Beer? افضل طريقة للربح في الروليت Color me shocked.

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Lance Bass is from Mississippi, which is a perfect excuse to make your flag a lancing bass.

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Just replace the confederate flag part – which is divisive – with a picture of the Mississippi Queen, Shelby, the viral sensation from the Grove from years ago, who brings EVERYONE together… after a few vodka waters.

She would be a bad representation of the state… SIKE! She would be a GREAT representation of the state.

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Ok, one more stolen idea. This time from Colorado, who also has one of the best state flags in America. All Mississippi has to do is slightly tweak it. At first thought, the giant letter C doesn’t make sense for Mississippi. For as long as their state name is, they only have 4 different letters in it, and none of them are C. So just modify it stand for COVER. As in SOFT TOILET SEAT COVER. Which, you guessed it, was invented in Mississippi, by David Harrison of Columbus. He patented the invention that has sold over 1,000,000 annually. Not to brag.

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I saved the best for last.

Both Brett Favre and Jerry Rice are from Mississippi. They both also endorse Copper Fit. It’s 2020, if we have the technology to infuse copper into compression sleeves to prevent injuries and joint pain, then we should have the technology to make a GIF a flag. So if we can, make this entire commercial the flag (if not, the image above will suffice). What better symbol to represent the state of Mississippi than two of the NFL greatest players and spokesman for copper-infused compression garments designed to help stabilize and support muscles, provide support for pain, stiffness, and soreness, as well as aid in recovery and performance by supporting improved circulation and oxygenation? Hell, I wish this image was the American flag! مواقع كازينو

Other countries would look at us and be like, “Whoa! They stacked the deck!”

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Look, Mississippi doesn’t have to take any of these ideas, but let’s be real. Last time they didn’t take flag ideas from a comedy sports blog, their flags were removed some 126 years later. And we don’t want to be right back here trying to come up with new ideas in 2146.

The post The State of Mississippi Is Getting A New Flag, So We Made Some Ideas appeared first on Korked Bats.

Hotty toddy, gosh almighty.

I can’t even get #madonline about this. In fact, part of me respects it. Someone at Ole Miss actually wrote these words:

In those times, it is beneficial to consider revisiting the content of your will, especially if it was designed years ago, and now needs your attention. Just like your home, your estate plan needs regular maintenance to reflect situations and circumstances you’ve faced.

By adding a bequest in your will, you guarantee that the priorities in your life are matched to your legacy. Also by expressing the philanthropic priorities of your life, you can continue investing in the students, faculty, mission and values of the University of Mississippi.

Ok, first, I find it odd that Ole Miss of all places does not believe in the Oxford comma.

Second, Ole Miss is basically saying: “You’re probably going to die from coronavirus, so make sure we get some of your money when you do.” You know, because it’s not like the school got enough of your money during the 4-5 (or if you’re this chick, the 7) years you spent there.

“My favorite thing about Ole Miss is the education that I receive here…. SIKE!” It’s the emails I get after graduating begging for your money during a global pandemic.

Again, I can’t be mad at Ole Miss here. It’s not like you weren’t getting emails from your school before coronavirus, so they’re just doing their best to continue on with life as normal. If anything, this email is the most normal email Ole Miss grads have received in the last month. At least it’s not an email about COVID-19 from some CEO of a company that you bought one thing from like six years ago.

Ole Miss is having quite the rollercoaster ride of a year. First, they lose the Egg Bowl because a player pretended to pee like a dog, then they fired their head coach, then they hired Lane Kiffin, and now this? And speaking of Lane Kiffin, if anything embarassing came out of Oxford during this pandemic, I assumed it would be Kiff being the first person to break the social distancing mandate just to offer a scholarship to a seventh grader with coronavirus.

But again, shooters shoot, and Ole Miss just through up a Marshall Henderson-type prayer with this thing. At least they’re not trying to re-open their school already like Hugh Freeze’s new school.

Look, you can be offended by this, or you can just delete the email and move on with your (extremely boring for right now) life. These days, there’s no shortage of things to get mad at. Only a shortage of ventilators.

The post Ole Miss Shoots Shot, Asks Alumni To Add School To Your Will In Case You Die of COVID-19 appeared first on Korked Bats.

Haters will say it’s photoshopped, so here’s another angle for good measure.

Tiger Woods stans will argue, “Well, let’s see the rest of her game!” But do we even have to? Ever heard the expression “drive for show, putt for dough?” Putting is as important as it gets. And here’s Mary Ann, a bunco enthusiast (I assume), sinking 94-footers like their Werther’s Originals and Metamucil.

Most PGA-ers complain when a green plays fast. Can you think of a faster playing green than the hardwood of a college basketball court? Mary Ann would make Torrey Pines look like a putt-putt course in Panama City.

94 feet! That’s almost a foot for every year she’s been alive. Most grandmas make really good cookies. Mary Ann makes putts like she’s Lee Trevino.

Yeah, Lee Trevino in a brand new car. That’s another thing I’ve yet to mention. MeeMaw got herself a new whip.

I know Augusta National still thinks women have cooties or whatever, but they have to find a way to get this woman into the field for the Masters.

#MaryAnnToTheMasters

The post 84-Year-Old Mary Ann Is A Better Golfer Than Tiger Woods And I Dare You To Try To Argue Otherwise appeared first on Korked Bats.

You’ve got Arkansas bringing in Sam Pittman, Mizzou bringing in Eli Drinkwitz, and Ole Miss bringing in everyone’s favorite bad boy of college football, Lane Monte Kiffin.

Yes, the same Lane Kiffin who was once fired by PowerPoint by Al Davis. The same Lane Kiffin who once tried to kick a 73 yard field goal with Sebastian Janikowski. The same Lane Kiffin who was left on a tarmac after being fired by USC. The same Lane Kiffin who named his son Knox after taking the Tennessee job and then bounced for USC nine months later.

He’s back.

The post VIDEO: A Look At The SEC Newest Coaches appeared first on Korked Bats.

According to multiple reports, while Ole Miss athletic director Keith Carter addressed the team of the decision, multiple players angrily stormed out of the meeting.

“At first, I thought they were storming out to go to the bathroom,” Carter said. “Lord knows this team’s had a problem with urinating at inopportune times lately.

“But I soon realized they were storming out because of our decision to fire Coach Luke. That’s when I knew we made the right decision.”

Carter said he’s hopeful the players who stormed out will now either quit or transfer.

“A head coach is held responsible for the wins-loss record, but let’s be real, Saban couldn’t get bowl eligible with these kids,” said Carter.

Carter called the situation like “killing two birds with one stone.”

“If the players leave with Matt Luke, then great! They were just as bad as he was! I mean, Matt Luke wasn’t the one who gave up over 400 yards at home to Cal. CAL! THE CALIFORNIA GOLDEN BEARS! FROM THE PAC-12!” Carter shouted while throwing a stack of papers into the air.

“The defense this year played like LITERAL land sharks. As in sharks who were washed up onto land and laid around lifelessly,” Carter made sure to add while taking a sip of his hot tea which we’re pretty sure was spiked with obnoxious amounts of bourbon.

When asked who he would get to fill the team’s roster spots if the players actually do quit or transfer, Carter said he’d find someone. “Maybe the Rebellettes? Not like anyone would be able to tell a difference.”

Carter wants the next head coach to have the ability to go undefeated in football to match the school’s undefeated party record.

The post After Head Coach’s Firing, Ole Miss Players Threaten To Transfer, Confirming Administrator’s Decision appeared first on Korked Bats.

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Ole Miss and this security guard remain undefeated.

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

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