We don’t ask for much. Fewer penalties. More fun. Roger Goodell to not be cringey during the Draft.

You brought back touchdown celebrations – after inexplicably taking them away the first time. So now, all we ask is for fun Super Bowl logos again.

I live in Chicago. One of the things people love the most about Chicago is this city’s unique architecture. It’s extraordinary. There aren’t architecture boat tours cruising the Chicago River through rain, snow, or literal tornados because every building looks the same.

We don’t want logos looking like the AON Building. No offense, AON building. We want logos looking like the corncob Wilco towers, the Sears Tower (it’s still Sears), that one building at the corner of Millennium Park that they slid down in Adventures in Babysitting. The variety makes each one special and unique. And fun to look at.

No one wants the same damn logo every year.

You can literally pinpoint the year the NFL stopped having fun.

Now, I will admit, they have added some color the last few years, but the logos are still the exact same. And they suck. Bring back the uniqueness. Bring back the flavor. Super Bowl logos used to be like Fanta. So many different flavors. Now the logos are just water. With maybe a hint of those Mio water enhancer droplets mixed in. I mean, even baseball, the most rigid and least progressive sport, gets the fact that you need uniqueness. Check the World Series logos.

And the All-Star Game logos are even better.

Look, everyone knows how much you love to grab headlines. You could even make it an event every year. In between The Draft and training camp, you can have a Super Bowl Logo unveiling ceremony with 3-hour pre-ceremony coverage on NFL Network. Why? Why not?! Just give the people what they want and bring back unique Super Bowl logos.

If I ever run for president, you best believe I’m running on a platform of three things:

1. The day after the Super Bowl is a national holiday. No work.
2. All movies, despite the genre, should have bloopers during the credits.
3. The NFL must bring back fun Super Bowl logos.

I look forward to receiving your vote.

So, do the right thing, NFL. We all want it. And you know we want it. So let’s not waste any more time.

And also fix your league’s officiating. It sucks too.

(logos via SportsLogos.net)

The post Hey NFL, It’s Time… Bring Back Unique Super Bowl Logos appeared first on Korked Bats.

Big Razz, you’re a hoot.

The post VIDEO: Every Super Bowl Radio Row Interview Ever appeared first on Korked Bats.

Before I get into this, I just have to give credit to Peyton in Minnesota for calling into the Say Anything segment on Kyle Brandt’s Basement to point this fact out. But Carl Cheffers is psychotic. And not just for the number of penalty flags he throws per 60-minute football game, but rather for how he holds up the number 3 on his hand.

Look at this photograph. Every time I do it makes me laugh.

Who in their right mind signals the number three like that? WTF?! Is Carl some sort of frat bro who still giggles at the shocker? Is he an ASU alum and this is nod to the forks up? Who taught him to count like that? Jason Pierre-Paul? He looks like he’s doing ASL for jibberish. Why does the NFL allow this man to call games with these kinds of antics? It isn’t normal. In fact, it’s downright disgusting to say the least.

Luckily for us, he doesn’t go all Principal Richard Vernon’s bull horns when he signals two. He does his two’s like a normal person.

And thank the Lord he doesn’t hit us with an awkward one.

Look, I don’t know if this is enough to get a man banned for life from ever calling a football game ever again (it should), but at very least his performance should, right? I don’t want to see more flags during the game than we will during Rihanna’s halftime. And I know Chiefs fans agree…

Cheffers was the referee of Super Bowl LV, which was his second Super Bowl assignment as a referee. The eight penalties and 95 yards enforced against Kansas City, in the first half, were both NFL records for a Super Bowl. The first half penalties resulted in six first downs for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers which was also an NFL record.

The post Carl Cheffers Shouldn’t Be Calling The Super Bowl Based On How He Hand Signals The Number 3 appeared first on Korked Bats.

Week One of the NFL season is always unpredictable. We see it year after year. That’s why it’s the toughest week to gamble on. We don’t know teams tendencies, roles of new players, impact rookies will have, and more. Now, as Week One is pretty much closed, I’m sitting back and looking at the landscape trying to make future bets on the Super Bowl. What am I seeing? A lot of talent in the AFC and basically none in the NFC.

I can say with confidence that the Super Bowl Champion this season will be from the AFC. That’s hardly a hot take. In that Conference, there’s the Buffalo Bills who are Vegas favorites to win it all, you have the Kansas City Chiefs who got off to a fast start, the LA Chargers who have tons of talent, the Broncos who we will see tonight with Russell Wilson under center, you have the Titans who despite an embarrassing loss to the Giants were still the top seeded team in the AFC last year so deserve a mention. There’s also the sneaky Bengals, Raiders, Browns, Ravens, even Dolphins could end up frisky. The Conference is loaded.

On the other side, in the NFC, Week One was a massive let down. I think we came into the season knowing the AFC was stronger, especially in the AFC West where literally every team could end up being a contender. Could it be the strongest division we have ever seen? It’s very possible. Back to the struggling NFC. We entered the season with a couple of favorites: the Packers could finally do something in the playoffs and with that weak division you have to feel good about their chances to make playoffs even without Davante Adams…or any receive worth mentioning. There’s the Tampa Bay Buccaneers led by Tom Brady in his 23rd season. Let’s be honest, though, even Tom Brady doesn’t seem to believe in this team. That’s why he tried to get to Miami and retire to get out of his contract. Then he comes back and Arians randomly resigns but I’m supposed to believe it has nothing to do with Tom? Something is happening there and I don’t like it. You also have the Rams in the NFC, fresh off a Super Bowl victory. However, did you watch them play on Thursday? Yikes! That offensive line looked terrible, the defense wasn’t intimidating, and Stafford looked like a Lion, again. The 49ers received some pre-season hype, even though Trey Lance isn’t proven. They lost to the Chicago Bears in Week One. Not great. Cowboys just lost Dak for several weeks. Cardinals don’t look good. Saints won’t be able to pull it off, either. Who is going to win this Conference?

If I had to answer that question after the first week of games I’d have to put my money on the Minnesota Vikings. What?! Justin Jefferson got off to a hot start. Kirk Cousins looked confident and in control, and they took down the Packers without really breaking a sweat. The D looked stellar, as well. I think they could end up being dangerous. They have an offense that can put up points and a defense that can make stops and create turnovers. What more can you ask for?

I understand it’s early in the season. You can’t judge a team based on their performance in the first week. We have to let them shake off the dust and figure out their identity. I’m sure some of these teams are going to make a turn around, and probably very quickly. However, I cannot sit here and comfortably say with any sort of confidence in who will end up winning the NFC and losing in the Super Bowl. This does present a good opportunity for bettors. Put some money on like the fifth most favored team. Why not? The odds have to be great and they’re just as likely to win as the most favored team. Right now, the Bucs are favored at +281, but you can get Minnesota at +984. I like that.

We made our predictions ahead of the season, here’s what we came out with.

Is it too late to change my NFC pick?…or is it too early? Who do you have winning the NFC this year?

The post What Terrible Team Will Win The NFC After A Disappointing Week One? appeared first on Korked Bats.

If Quinton Spain is going to talk the talk, he needs to walk the walk. Or at least block the block.

The post A Video Breakdown of Quinton Spain Getting Owned By Aaron Donald appeared first on Korked Bats.

Look, there were a lot of cool things coming out of this Super Bowl. From Matt Stafford and Aaron Donald finally getting theirs after years of being on lousy teams, to making an electric truck seem somewhat cool with a Sopranos themed commercial, to 50 Cent finally working out again with upside-down crunches, to Detroit finally being represented in the Super Bowl, to floating QR code screensaver commercials, the Super Bowl was filled with epic moments. But in our extremely unbiased opinion, we here at The #1 Derrick Henry Fan Site On The Internet believe the single greatest moment was a no-brainer:

Mini Derrick Henry tossing Mini Deion Sanders like a garbage man tosses trash into his truck.

And when I say Mini Derrick, I don’t mean D’Onta Foreman, who clearly became a mini-Derrick this season. I’m talking an actual Mini King. I know it was just mini-CGI’d characters, but I still gave an audible “DAMN!” when I saw it. The digitized version of Derrick did digitized Deion DIRTY! And of everyone in the commercial, I’m pretty sure Mini King was the only one who didn’t get embarrassed. Let’s not ignore the fact that immediately after all these digitized players came crawling out of the TV like that chick from The Ring, the ruckus starts with Mini 22 delivering a pretty aggressive shove of Mini Chase Young. Then he beats Mini Marshawn to the loose football, makes a clean scoop, and then sends Mini Deion into the shadow realm. I know Mini Deion is about the size of a ragdoll, but he didn’t have to toss him like that. Maybe Mini Derrick remembered how Deion didn’t know who Kevin Byard after his first All-Pro season, calling him “a fan.”

Keep in mind, Deion worked as an NFL analyst at this point. The guy didn’t even know who one of the league’s best (based on his All-Pro status) secondary position players was. Great work, Prime. Then again, after what Mini King did to Mini Deion, there’s not a chance he knows who anyone is anymore. Goodell’s been trying to eliminate concussions from the league, when he should be trying to eliminate concussions from his commercials. I bet when the Mini Trainers came over to assist a knocked out Mini Deion and they asked him to spell his name, he replied with “C-T-E.” It’s a good thing that China was there to break his fall, otherwise he would’ve been stiff-armed to China. It was by far, the greatest hit of the night. Narrowly edging out that doofus Pete Davidson getting his clock cleaned.

After this, I wouldn’t be surprised if Mini Deion just turns to mini baseball full time. Or at very least, stick with the commercials starring him, Saban and the duck. Because this might be the most embarrassing thing to happen to a Falcon on Super Bowl since 28-3, and the most embarrassing thing to happen to a Falcon defensive back on Super Bowl weekend since Eugene Robinson. Hell, I haven’t seen a former Raven get rocked that hard by a Derrick stiff-arm since Earl Thomas. And speaking of Ravens, I loved after he finished tossing Mini Deion, Mini Derrick tossed the rock to the second best running back in the league, Mini Lamar Jackson.

So look, you can have your legendary halftime show full of TRL classics. Give me Mini Derrick doing Big Derrick things.

P.S. It should be noted that Jonathan Taylor was nowhere to be found in this commercial. Hm, that’s weird.

The post In Our Completely Unbiased Opinion, Derrick Henry Won Super Bowl Sunday appeared first on Korked Bats.

If you listened to any sports talk radio shows from the Super Bowl, this is what you got.

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The post VIDEO: Every Super Bowl Radio Row Interview Ever appeared first on Korked Bats.

So believe me, it was weird enough seeing AB win a Super Bowl with Tom Brady, but honestly, it’s even weirder seeing AB hang out with Kanye West. But again, it’s been that kind of year life for AB. He’s gone from straight up stripping off his uniform and leaving mid-game to hanging with one of the bigger celebrities who everyone seems to care about what he’s doing and how he’s doing it of our generation. AB has been posting various pictures of him and Kanye together at various events, so clearly the pair have been spending some time together, but AB has revealed that they will apparently be spending even more time together, this time at the Super Bowl.

Just a few weeks ago AB was catching passes from Tom Brady. Now he’s the owner… of 18 Super Bowl suite tickets. AB also appears have found a new job, not bad for a guy who just walked out on his old one.

According to his IG post, AB is now the President of Donda Sports and Kanye’s first task for AB was to grab tickets for The Big Game. Guess you could call it a corporate retreat? Just a casual $2.1 mill. And with a simple Google search, I discovered a shocking revelation.

AB just dropped roughly 67% of his entire salary for the 2021 season on a Super Bowl that he’s not even playing in. (Reminder: AB was just in the Super Bowl a mere 365 days ago.) But as the man told us himself with his debut song, he’s got a whole lotta money. So I guess it doesn’t matter.

Just to recap: AB will be in the Super Bowl, and Tom Brady will not. Did he get the last laugh? People are asking.

Also, memo to Donda Sports: if you need a blogger, HMU. I’m a fun hang, and like AB, I too enjoy partaking big football games in person.

The post Antonio Brown Spends 67% Of Entire 2021 Salary On Super Bowl Tickets That He’s Not Playing In appeared first on Korked Bats.

I’m sure at this point you’ve heard of the TB12 Method, and if you haven’t, you might want to find a new rock to live under. Tom Brady and his TB12 Method is proof that you can play the great game of football well into your 40’s. Hell, at this rate Tom could be playing into his 50’s.

Tom Brady is an actual machine, I’m convinced. The guy just loves winning and he does nothing but help his team win by taking deals like this. Tom has made enough money for 4 lifetimes so of course he doesn’t need the money. What he does need – is more Super Bowls.

This guy with an extra $25,000 to blow seems to think Father Tom Time will have another Super Bowl this time next year.

Plenty of people wonder what the secret to Ole Tommy’s success is but really it’s no secret. The TB12 Method. So I decided to see what all the TB12 Method hype was about.

The results have been incredible thus far, I have already signed up for my first marathon and have dropped 4 pants sizes. It really works! This is me now:

Hard to believe, I know!

The post Average Joe Tries The TB12 Method And You’ll Never Believe The Results! appeared first on Korked Bats.

In what ended up being a dud of a Super Bowl, with the final scoring being a 31-9 blowout, the best part of the game was something they didn’t even show on the TV broadcast… a streaker.

Well, kinda. A streaker with clothes on. So whatever that’s called.

But we took the footage and broke it down for your enjoyment since nothing from the game was really enjoyable – unless you’re a Bucs fan or a joyless Patriots fan. In which case, Sunday was probably great for you with or without a guy in a one-piece bathing suit running around on the field during the game.

Check out our other Breakdown videos here.

The post A Breakdown Of The Super Bowl Streaker appeared first on Korked Bats.