This is an appreciation blog of our good friend Kyle Benjamin Gibson.

If you love Gibby as much as us and/or hate the Astros as much as us, then the video in the tweet above is straight up pornography. Sorry, should’ve slapped a NSFW warning on there. My bad. But damn, did Gibby bring it tonight.

It’s been up and down year for Gibby, for sure. ربح المال من الالعاب No hiding that fact. But apparently he made an adjustment to his approach (typical pitcher talk), and it worked.

Our freckled friend proved he’s still got it. Let this be a warning: don’t let KGib44 get hot, people. لعبة القمار Don’t let him. Because he’ll make you look foolish. Just ask the 2017 World Champs*. He allowed as many runs as we have respect for the Astros’ World Series ring: zero.

Why do we love this ginger so much? Because he’s been a big supporter of all things Korked Bats over the years. To the point where he even signed up for an Instagram account just to do this Chat with us. Watch.

So Kyle Gibson will always be this blog Cy Young. Scratch that. Cy Young will always be this blog’s Kyle Gibson. We’re ride or die with this guy, and last night we rode to the tune of 9 strikeouts over 9 complete innings with ZERO earned runs.

Kyle Gibson, you’re the man.

The post Our Friend Kyle Gibson Pitched A Complete Game Shutout Against Our Enemy The Houston Astros appeared first on Korked Bats.

Unfortunately, the outside was not so lucky. People will tell you it’s on the inside that counts. But not on the internet! So of course the park got dragged online. And rightfully so, because the Rangers just moved out of one of baseball’s most beautiful stadiums…

…(which only opened in 1994!) into one of of baseball’s most industrial (and ugly) looking stadiums…

This is the stadium equivalent of ScarJo divorcing Ryan Reynolds and then dating Sean Penn. It looks much older, grosser, and it’s probably full of disease. Not just COVID, but E-coli – because that’s a cow slaughter if I’ve ever seen one. I’ve seen smoother edges on Minecraft.

Since the stadium got torched, let’s run down some of the best jokes about Globe Life Field.

pic.twitter.com/5uLCuJ1ViD

— past my prime (@five6four) June 24, 2020

The post The Texas Rangers’ New Stadium Is Getting Roasted Online And Here Are The Best Jokes appeared first on Korked Bats.

Yes.

Sammy’s defense?

SOURCE – “I use that bat for batting practice,” Sosa said at the time. “It’s something that I take the blame for. It’s a mistake, I know that. I feel sorry. I just apologize to everybody that are embarrassed.”

I get the excuse, but sure it really works. “Honey, I didn’t cheat on you! I use my side piece for batting practice!” He maybe should’ve tried it for the steroid scandal though. “I only used anabolic steroids for batting practice!”

I actually like Sammy Sosa a lot. Watching him sprint from dugout to right field still gets my juices flowing. And then him doing it while holding a mini-American flag in his first game post-9/11. I nearly fainted with pride. But there’s no denying Sammy has had quite the rollercoaster of a career and/or life.

You can have your 10-part Michael Jordan/Chicago Bulls documentary. Give me a 10-part Sammy Sosa documentary.

Episode 1: His Time On The Southside (White Sox days)

Episode 2: His Move North To Wrigleyville (Chicago Cubs)

Episode 3: The Summer of 1998 (Home Run Chase)*

(*-an entire episode could be spent on his 20 home runs in the month of June alone.)

Episode 4: Getting Caught With A Corked Bat

Episode 5: That Awkward Season With The Orioles / Bookending His Career In Texas

Episode 6: His Retirement And Where The Hell He Went For Like Five Years

Episode 7: Black Sammy

Episode 8: White Sammy

Episode 9: Pink Sammy

Episode 10: Why He Only Takes Weird Photos Now

I’m fascinated with this man. And you can’t tell me you’re not either. Like what does he do in a day. What’s his routine? Other than turning into a bat and sucking people’s blood.

Regardless, 17 years ago today is the day he got busted for his corked bat. Here’s a fun tidbit. A lot of people think this site was started and/or named after this incident. It wasn’t. I wish we had a cool story or reason why this site is named Korked Bats, but we don’t. I can tell you this though. The site started out as corked-bats.blogspot.com, but we hated saying corked hyphen bats, and korked was available, so we made the change. Again, I wish I had a cooler story, but that’s just facts.

All in all, June 3rd, 2003 isn’t just a day where Sammy Sosa’s bat broke. I’m pretty sure it’s a day that broke Sammy Sosa. Because ever since he’s been weird. Then again, what more should you expect from an adult male who goes by Sammy. All I’ll say is to wherever Slammin’ Sammy is today, I hope he’s resting peacefully in his home.

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The post 17 Years Ago Today, Sammy Sosa Got Busted For Corking His Bat, What Happens Next Will Shock You appeared first on Korked Bats.

The other day I asked Texas Rangers starting pitcher Kyle Gibson to join me on Instagram Live for a quick chat. He said he would, but he didn’t have an Instagram account (there’s your first sign this dude is an old MLB veteran – he’s not even on Instagram!). So what does he do? The guy signs up for an Instagram account just to do this interview.

He hasn’t even posted a photo to IG yet, and he’s already participated in an IG Live. Has to be the first time that’s ever happened right? I’m pretty sure Kyle Gibson is the Neil Armstrong of appearing on Instagram Live without posting a photo to his account first. Incredible.

The convo was fun. If you like baseball, suburban back decks, and/or Mel Gibson movies, I suggest you check out the interview. I tried hard to get him to give us a juicy headline like Rays pitcher Blake Snell did the other day when he said he wouldn’t reduce his salary to play because of the risk. I also asked Kyle what he would do if he was on the bump against the Astros and heard the banging of a trashcan. And, of course, I asked him if baseball finally does return on July 4th, if he’ll shed a tear during the national anthem.

Kyle Gibson is one of the coolest dudes in the sport of baseball – which is saying something, so give him a follow on Twitter, Instagram, and just in life.

The post Rangers Pitcher Kyle Gibson Talks Astros Trashcans, MLB’s Return, And If He’ll Cry During First Game Back appeared first on Korked Bats.

Each year, after winning the World Series or League Championship, a team commemorates the extraordinary feat by hanging a banner or pennant for fans to reminisce for years to come. However, why should the World Series Champions or League Champions be the only ones allowed to hang pennants commemorating the ups-and-downs, adversity, endurance, and steroid testing in which they faced throughout the grueling 162-game schedule? This is 2014, where everyone gets a prize, even if they suck. Right, politically correct parents?

Here are some pennants that you should expect from other MLB teams.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

And also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post If Other MLB Teams Got Pennants… appeared first on Korked Bats.

I like how at the end, the Pirates were like, “HEY, WE MISSED OUT ON THIS! BUT LET’S DO ANOTHER TAYLOR SWIFT SONG, YOU GUYS!” And the Dodgers were just like, “Nah, we’re good.”

For reference (and/or an excuse to listen to Taylor Swift while keeping it “sports related”), here is Taylor Swift’s Love Story.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post MLB Teams Join Together To Tweet Taylor Swift Lyrics appeared first on Korked Bats.

If you thought this video was weird, you should see their video for Tuesdays.

• • •

This post was written by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

And also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post Texas Rangers Want You To Know It’s Friday With This Ridiculously Weird Video appeared first on Korked Bats.

It’s that time of year. Time to shoot off the gun, signifying the start of America’s longest marathon, baseball season. Yes, baseball season is long. In fact, the only thing longer than baseball season isthe intro to House of Cards. However, it provides great excitement throughout. Unless you’re a Marlins fan. But why wait until October to figure out how your team will do? We have all of your 2014 MLB Predictions right here.

The American League East provides us with some of the best baseball you will ever see every single year. Now you are probably saying, “But aren’t the Blue Jays in the AL East?” And to that we respond: no one watches Blue Jays games, and we said the AL East provides some of the best baseball you will ever see. So, there.

American League East Standings Prediction

1) Boston Red Sox (97-65) Division Winner

2) New York Yankees (95-67) Wild Card

3) Tampa Bay Rays (88-74)

4) Baltimore Orioles (84-78)

5) Toronto Blue Jays (0-162, eh)

• • •

After winning their 3rd World Series in the last 900 years the Red Sox will rely on Mike Napoli, Dustin Pedroa, David Ortiz, and a dozen nameless bearded men to propel them back to the October Classic. The Sox will also keep Neil Diamond somewhat relevant by blaring out his hit “Sweet Caroline” at every home game for thousands of drunk Bean Towners to sing along with terribly.

• • •

2013 saw the Bronx Bombers have more injuries than wins, which prompted owner Hal Steinbrenner to go out and spend $4.5 billion for players from the 1996 NL All Star team. The Yankees will also try to get Derek Jeter his 6th World Series ring in his final year (as if he needed anything else). The Yankees will need a strong showing from the team trainers, A-Rod’s lawyers, and Dr James Andrews if they want to still have a team come October.

• • •

The 2013 Tampa Bay Rays finished strong and earned a wild card berth due to the great play of what’s his name, that one guy, old dude with the weird tooth, and AL Rookie Of The Year Wil Myers. The Joe Madden-led  Rays will win a lot of games, somehow, but their main 2014 goal should be looking to relocate to a city that has an actual Major League stadium and a fan base.

• • •

Orioles skipper Buck Showalter will hang his hopes on a bunch of young talent that you’ve probably never heard of because they play in Baltimore. The Orioles will try to stay just above .500 in 2014 to preserve Showalter’s job, which will save us all from his return to Baseball Tonight and ensure their young talent doesn’t end up playing for the Yankees next season.

• • •

The 2013 Blue Jays tried to play with the big boys in the off season and got burned terribly, mostly by the acquisition of R.A. Dickey. Dickey, who won the 2012 NL Cy Young Award with the Mets, was traded to the Blue Jays for prospects and turned out to be the baseball equivalent of magic beans. Other player signings, such as Mark Buehrle and Melky Cabrera, further prove that our maple syrup loving friends from the north just want players who might sound familiar to their 500 fans. This season will find the Blue Jays extending their playoff-less streak to 21 years. That’s right, the last Blue Jays pennant can now legally drink beer.

• • •

The American League Central should be filled with surprising baseball during the 2014 season, but it probably won’t be because it still has the Royals, White Sox, and Twins.

American League Central Standings Prediction

1) Cleveland Indians (98-64) Division Winner

2) Detroit Tigers (94-68) Wild Card

3) Kansas City Royals (83-79) Miss Out On The Playoffs, Again

4) Chicago White Sox (82-80)

5) Minnesota Twins (80-82)

• • •

The Cleveland Indians managed to make the playoffs during the 2013 season, their first trip since 2007, largely in part to post-PED Jason Giambi’s stellar .183 average and 9 home runs.  The Tribe will hitch their wagon to starting pitcher Justin Masterson and slugger Nick Swisher in hopes that the 2014 season doesn’t look like another crappy Major League sequel.

• • •

2013 saw the Tigers win the AL Central and then lose in the ALCS, then lose skipper Jim Leyland, then lose slugger Prince Fielder. While the Fielder trade saves the team thousands on craft services, it also eliminates an important bat from their lineup. The 2014 Tigers will rely heavily on Miguel Cabrera, Max Scherzer, and the managerial skills of Brad Ausmus, yes that Brad Ausmus, if they’re going to lose in the playoffs again.

• • •

The 2013 Royals made great strides to achieve mediocrity and keep their playoff-less streak going at 28 years and counting. The boys from Kansas City rode the talents of Billy Butler, Alex Gordon, and James Shields. They hope that 2014 will bring another year of above .500 ball and watching better teams than them in the postseason. At least their hosting of the 2012 All-Star Game was something good to remember from the past 28 years.

• • •

The 2013 Chicago White Sox held the distinction of having more credible talent on their coaching staff than on their active roster, and 2014 won’t be any different for Chicago’s south siders. The huge strike-out prone bat of Adam Dunn and the legit closer prowess of Addison Reed will be huge for the 2014 Sox, unless manager Robin Ventura decides to un-retire and convince hitting coach Harold Baines and newly appointed special advisor Jim Thome to relive their White Sox glory days.

• • •

Only 3 wins kept the 2013 Twins from sharing the AL Central cellar with the White Sox, and that credit goes to the reliable bat of Joe Mauer. To show how bad things were for the Twins during the 2013 season, their team leader in RBIs was Justin Morneau with 74, and he was traded to the Pirates on August 31st. Their leader in wins was Kevin Corria with 9. Not 9 complete games, but 9 wins total. Their leader in AVG, OBP, and hits was Joe Mauer, who only appeared in 113 games. While the  Twins have decided to move Mauer to 1st base for the 2014 season to protect his health, they have no plans to protect their fans’ health from what they plan to field this season.

• • •

There are good teams. There are bad teams. Then there’s 50 feet of crap. And then there’s the AL West. The West is that division that nobody really cares about. It is filled with teams that don’t really have any actual existing fans. The AL West also hasn’t won a World Series since George W. Bush’s 1st administration. You could say that the western division of the American League is the appendix of baseball. It’s there but not necessary.

American League West Standings Prediction

1) Oakland Athletics (97-65) Division Winner

2) Seattle Mariners (94-68)

3) Texas Rangers (90-72)

4) Anaheim Angels (84-78)

5) Houston Astros (LOL)

• • •

The 2013 A’s had a solid ride that led straight to another postseason defeat at the hands of [Team Name Here]. We predict that the 2014 A’s will repeat as the AL West sacrificial postseason lamb partly on their solid core of young pitching arms, steady reliable bats, and the sure fire fun that the movie Moneyball offered us.

• • •

The Mariners may be the only AL West team that will have a sellout this season due to Seahawk fans not having any other venue to be loud at in the off-season. The 2014 version of the Mariners will see a jump in wins due to the signing of perennial MVP candidate Robinson Cano, but will find themselves looking on the outside of the postseason because Cano can’t play all 9 positions at the same time.

• • •

The 2013 Rangers saw their streak of postseason appearances end at 3, which to some teams would be enough to try and make changes to reach the postseason again, but not the Rangers, who let their big name bat Ian Kinsler slip away to Detroit while brining in the jersey busting girth of Prince Fielder. 2014 should see these boys from Arlington watch as other teams have fun while they help Fielder pick bacon bits out of his goatee.

• • •

The Los Angeles Angles of Anaheim of 2013 should have been better than they were, considering their lineup consisted of a who’s who of overpriced and underplayed players. Their lineup is like an episode of The Price Is Right if everyone won everything. There are high hopes for the Angels in 2014 due in large part to Mike Trout, whose stellar bat and fielding remind everyone of a young Josh Hamilton. Not to be mistake for the old Josh Hamilton, who the Angels signed to take up space on the team’s disabled list.

• • •

At first glance we thought the 2013 Astros had put their team in the witness protection program because we couldn’t recognize any of the names, but we soon realized that the 2013 Astros were actually real-life players. The 2014 Astros will continue to trudge through baseball futility, hopeful of the day that MLB will shorten the season to 10 games so they won’t feel bad for wasting everyone’s time.

• • •

Click here to read our National League Preview

• • •

This post was created by Joe. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @JoeShowShow

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post Korked Bats’ MLB Preview: American League appeared first on Korked Bats.

Each year, after winning the World Series or League Championship, a team commemorates the extraordinary feat by hanging a banner or pennant for fans to reminisce for years to come. However, why should the World Series Champions or League Champions be the only ones allowed to hang pennants commemorating the ups-and-downs, adversity, endurance, and steroid testing in which they faced throughout the grueling 162-game schedule? This is 2013, where everyone deserves to get a prize, even if they suck. قواعد لعب البوكر Right, politically correct parents? كيف تربح المال من الالعاب

Here are some pennants that you should expect from other MLB teams.

A more realistic pennant for the Red Sox:

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

And also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post If Other MLB Teams Got Pennants… appeared first on Korked Bats.

St. Louis might be the only city in America that roots for the absolute demise of the Chicago Cubs franchise every season. Clearly, every baseball market wants their own team to win the World Series every year, but if you polled every market, they’d probably say their second choice is the Cubs. Why? Because everyone would love to see the feel-good story of the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series. Everyone except those feel-good story killers in St. Louis.

You see, St. Louis is like the kid at the middle school lunch table who sits at one end of the table with all of his cool friends. You know, the Yankees, the Giants, the Phillies. The exclusive World Series Winning Gang is what they’re known by their peers. At the other end of the table sits the Cubs, a dweeby little kid who wears glasses so thick, it looks like he assembled two magnifying glasses over his eyes. Seriously, even Simon Birch would say this kid is a tiny little dork. You can just tell he isn’t going to make any friends until AT LEAST his sophomore year of college… at ITT Tech. Everyone just feels bad for him. Everyone except the Cardinals. What do they do? They walk up to this dweeby little Cubs kid and start teasing him. They make fun of his ratty old clothes, his zits, and his elastic waist band jeans. They rip on him for his Harry Caray glasses, his Dexter’s Labrotory digital wrist watch, and his inability to properly pronounce his R’s.

They mock him saying, “Are you going to win a World Series this year? Are mommy and daddy going to console you and say there’s always next year?” All the while, the rest of the World Series Winning Gang watches in disbelief. Whispering to each other, “Dude, this is so brutal! The Cubs’ parents just got a divorce!” But they do not do anything, because the Cardinals are “one of them.” They’re the Regina George of the bunch. Plus, they have enough neck tattoos to make Yadier Molina cringe. You don’t mess with someone in middle school who has neck tattoos. You only let them run their course. Cardinals continues with the bullying by pouring Cubs’ chocolate milk all over his head, like the he was a contestant on Nickelodeon’s Double Dare and the milk was slime. Even as Royals watches on, he thinks, “Man, I don’t even get it that bad.”

The bell rings. The kids go to their next class.

But the teasing doesn’t stop there.

Cardinals shoots spit balls at the back of Cubs’ head, repeats anything he says in a deeper and dopier sounding voice, and slaps KICK ME signs on his back.

The bell rings. The kids leave school to go home.

But the teasing doesn’t stop there.

In this day and age, cyber bullying is all the rage. Cardinals runs home and immediately logs onto AOL Instant Messenger (yeah, they still use AIM in St. Louis, which isn’t too surprising when you consider how many people still wear jorts there). Cardinals waits for Cubs to log on. The second he does, Cardinals bombards him with messages on AIM, berating him for always sucking.

But I think you get my point. The Cardinals, one of the most storied franchises in the history of baseball, relentlessly mock the Chicago Cubs for being terrible. It’s like if Brad Pitt just consistently burned his less-successful, less-attractive brother, Doug Pitt.

But why do they do this? Because they’re mean-spirited and rotten people? Well, as long as you’re not a Cubs fan, then no. It’s actually quite the opposite. The people of St. Louis are very friendly, kind people. Almost too friendly. (Seriously, it gets a little creepy sometimes.) Midwestern Hospitality ranks right under Southern Hospitality in the rankings of Hospitalities. As you may have guessed, Middle Eastern Hospitality, University of Texas Hospitality and New York Subway Train Hospitality round out the bottom of the rankings.

Cardinals fans are super nice people. But they couldn’t give a rat’s tail (edited for nice Midwesterners) about your feel-good story. They want their Cardinals to win at all costs.

Allow me to explain.

2013: Pittsburgh Pirates

This year, the St. Louis Cardinals defeated the Pittsburgh Pirates in the NLDS after the Pirates ended their 21-year postseason drought. Think about that. At the exact moment Sid Bream slid into home in 1992, your “Sid Bream” could’ve slid into home with your lady friend (if you catch my drift), thus creating a child nine months later. Fast forward to today, and you would be drinking with your son at the Pirates’ first postseason game since your Sid Bream forgot to wear a hat.

The Pirates hadn’t even had a winning season since 1992, so clearly, when they made it to the postseason, it warmed everyone’s hearts. Even the Reds thought it was a cool story and let them win to advance to the NLDS.

But the Cardinals decided to do more damage to the city of Pittsburgh than Bane. And they did.

2012: Atlanta Braves

2012 was a memorable year for the Atlanta Braves. It was the final season for their beloved third baseman, Chipper Jones. After 19 years, all with Atlanta, Chipper decided to call it quits. The entire 2012 season was dedicated to Chipper and his “farewell tour.” Atlanta wanted nothing more than to send him out with a World Series victory.

However, St. Louis wanted nothing more than to absolutely ravage the Braves and their hopes and all happiness everywhere in the world.

On any other year, the Atlanta Braves would’ve made the first round of the playoffs outright and would’ve had a 5-game series to test their fate. Not in 2012. This year was the first year of the MLB’s new second Wild Card team format, where two Wild Card teams would face off in a winner-takes-all, best of 1 game series.

The Braves jumped out to an early lead, but the Cardinals answered back quickly. Yet the real story came in the bottom of the 8th inning, with the Braves trailing 6-3, Andrelton Simmons hit one of the deepest infield flies in the history of baseball. Seriously, this “infield fly” was hit steps away from the warning track. Ok, not seriously. I’m clearly exaggerating. It was deeper than that.

The call arguably diminished any hope for a Braves late game rally, and another feel-good story was murdered, with the Cardinal-red blood on the hands of St. Louis.

.

Also in 2012: Washington Nationals

The Washington Nationals, who used to be the Montreal Expos, have never come close to a World Series title. Well, unless you count the strike-shortned season of 1994. At the time the strike became official, the Montreal Expos had the best record in the Major Leagues. They never were able to match a season of success like that again… Until 2012. A name change, a new stadium, and a rookie frat bro outfielder later, the Washington Naxpos were back in business.

Until running into the St. Louis DREAM CRUSHERS!

After shutting down their ace pitcher, Stephen Strasburg, due to the dumbest decision EVER! an innings-limit, the Washington Nationals forced a Game 5 at their home park. The park was loud and only got louder when the Nationals jumped out to a 6-0 lead. Everyone in Washington D.C. could sense an NLCS birth was in their grasp. Even the government, because back then, it wasn’t shut down.

Just then, the Cardinals huddled up and asked each other, “Wait, is this Washington Nationals team a feel-good story?” They unanimously agreed before deciding to shatter any hope the Nationals had of advancing.

The Cardinals nearly evened the score at 6-5 before the 7th inning stretch. The Nationals even tacked on an insurance run in the bottom of the 7th to make it 7-5. But then the Cardinals stuck the proverbial knife in backs of the Nationals with a 4-run 9th inning.

The Nationals never recovered and finished 10 games back in the NL East this season, missing the playoffs completely. So basically, in a nutshell, the Cardinals are responsible for the government shutdown.

And yet again in 2012: New York Mets

Outside of appearances on Seinfeld, the Mets never do anything right. Except for this one day in 2012, when Mets ace pitcher Johan Santana pitched a no-hitter against the St. Louis Cardinals.

Well, clearly the Cardinals didn’t kill this feel-good story that night. They only waited to kill it the next morning after leading their local paper’s sports section with an asterisk:

A blown call kept Johan Santana’s no-hitter alive. So while New York was partying, St. Louis was the one calling the cops to bust the party up for being too loud.

But this wasn’t the first time the St. Louis Post-Dispatch used an asterisk.

2011: Texas Rangers

Let’s rewind to 2011. Game 6 of the World Series. The Texas Rangers are playing in their scond-ever World Series. The Cardinals are playing in their 768th. Rangers Manager Ron Washington, who just opened up about his regretful cocaine use a year earlier, had his team one game away from the World Series. The Cardinals, down to their last strike, would not go quietly into the night. A David Freese triple would tie the game up, sending the game into extra innings.

In the 10th inning, Josh Hamilton steps to the plate.

Josh was not having the best of years. Statistically, he was fine. But off the field, he was not. Even Alexander from Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day would say Josh had it rough in 2011. All joking aside, Josh, who once abused every drink and drug available, has always been open about his rehab process, and fortunately was able to battle back into the big leagues after quitting the game altogether. So even with his dark past, the summer of 2011 proved to be darker. During a game, Josh tossed a ball up to a fan in the stands. The fan, a firefighter father who just so happened to be standing next to his young son, reached over the railing for the ball, lost his balance, and fell to his death. A horrific event that really effected Josh and the entire Texas Rangers organization.

In a tied potential series-clinching Game 6, Josh Hamilton blasts a 2-run, momentum killing home run at Busch Stadium. This is the way the MLB season was supposed to end. This was the perfect story. The perfect feel-good story. Right?

Wrong. This feel-good story went the way of fashionable haircuts at Blues games, gone and lost. All thanks to the Cardinals and their bottom of the 10th inning rally and Game 7 victory.

2006: Detroit Tigers

Now, follow me back to 2006. The Cardinals are playing the Detroit Tigers in the World Series. There wasn’t really a feel-good story here, but a Cardinals victory led to a feel-bad story for Detroit, perpetually sending the city to bankruptcy and a life of prosperity and gloom.

That’s right. We can thank the Cardinals for the horrible state of the city of Detroit.

2003: Chicago Cubs

In 2003, the Cardinals weren’t even in the postseason. Yet, they still managed to destroy a feel-good story. One involving the Chicago Cubs. To make a long story short, Bartman was a Cardinals fan.

2000: Tennessee Titans

Why stop there? Let’s go back to 1999-2000. Now, we all know the Cardinals sucked (read: juiced) in the 1990s, so they had a hard time killing feel-good stories. But their buddies down the street, the St. Louis Rams, didn’t. The Cardinals orchestrated the Rams to kill the feel-good story that was the Tennessee Titans.

In the 2000 NFL Playoffs, the Titans did the unthinkable. After multiple .500 or worse seasons, a franchise move, and multiple home cities (Houston, Memphis, Nashville) the Titans finally had their own stadium and a new identity. The team made it to the playoffs and won their Wild Card Game from what has been deemed the Music City Miracle. They went on to defeat to division rivals, the Colts and Jaguars, to win the AFC Championship. In their first official year with a new name, in their brand new home, the Titans were one win away from winning the Super Bowl. Trailing significantly at halftime, the Titans rallied back and conducted one last drive in the final seconds. But then, on the final play from scrimmage, Mike Jones, who I’m sure is a Cardinals fan, stopped Kevin Dyson one yard short of the end zone. Killing any hopes of Nashville becoming a championship-winning sports town.

But in hopes to spike their own economy, the Cardinals choked this feel-good story to death, causing Nashvillians to drink their sorrows away with Anheuser-Busch products.

They success comes at a cost. In St. Louis, they say success comes at a cost of others. If your team is writing their own feel good story and you have St. Louis on the schedule. Just go ahead and put the pen down. Especially you, Cubs.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

And also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post St. Louis Cardinals Are Feel-Good Story Killers appeared first on Korked Bats.