You can go just about anywhere on the World Wide Web to receive fantasy football advice for who you should start every week. ESPN, Yahoo, Better Homes and Gardens, literally anywhere! However, there is only one place on the World Wide Web where you can go to receive fantasy football advice of who you SHOULD NOT start every week. And that place is KorkedBats.com. You’re welcome.

Week 14

Look, your fantasy league should be in your playoffs right now. And if you’re in them, congrats! You probably didn’t follow (or didn’t need to follow) our advice this season. Respect. But if you’re not in your playoffs, then why are you still clicking on links giving out fantasy football advice? I think you have a serious problem. In fact, it might be time to get help. Use this fantasy football offseason as a time of betterment. Use it to grow. Use it to become normal again. I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this, but all of your friends have been talking about you behind your back. About how obsessed you are with fantasy football and how it’s really weirding them out. You need to take a break. But thanks for still checking out this post!

This week, you should not start nobody! So I guess that means start everybody? Don’t not start everybody. Wait. If you don’t start nobody, that means you start everybody, right? Then do that. Just fit as many guys as possible into your fantasy roster as possible. See if you can double up in certain positions. Are there any conjoined twins in the NFL? Maybe throw them into your FLEX. Just start everyone. It’s the playoffs. Why not? Can’t answer that, can you? Sure, it’s too dumb of a question to answer, but you still can’t answer it. So just go ahead and do it.

The post Who NOT To Start In Fantasy Football – Week 14 appeared first on Korked Bats.

You can go just about anywhere on the World Wide Web to receive fantasy football advice for who you should start every week. ESPN, Yahoo, Better Homes and Gardens, literally anywhere! However, there is only one place on the World Wide Web where you can go to receive fantasy football advice of who you SHOULD NOT start every week. And that place is KorkedBats.com. You’re welcome.

Week 13

Man, can you believe we’re already to Week 13? Seems like just Wednesday we were wrapping up Week 12. Again, I have no idea how your fantasy football team is doing and I don’t want to assume, but if you’re clicking on a blog called Who NOT To Start, you’re probably in the basement of your league’s standings. Nothing wrong with that. Unless of course you have a weird bet with your league and have to go get a tattoo or volunteer at nursing home. Side note: why isn’t that latter punishment used more? I can’t think of anything I’d want to do less than wipe dribble off old people’s mouths as I spoon feed them soup. And yet, that punishment would be very nice volunteer work. More leagues should have changing old people’s diapers as their league punishment. Anyway, let’s get to who we should NOT start.

This week you should NOT start anyone on the San Francisco 49ers. Why? Because they’re no longer the San Francisco 49ers this year. They’re the Crashing On My Buddy’s Couch In Arizona 49ers right now. And who knows? That could change too. Have you ever crashed at a buddy’s house for an extended amount of time? You know like maybe during a move or after a break-up? It sucks. It’s not fun. You have to keep your suitcase in the corner of the room or maybe in a closet. Your buddy probably has one small blanket that doesn’t cover your toes, and if it does, then it only goes halfway up your chest. It’s awkward, and you end up spending most of the night cold and shifting to try and comfortable on the couch. Spoiler: you never get comfortable on the couch. Not to mention, he gets up before you everyday, so you wake up to him shuffling around in the attached kitchen.

That’s what the 49ers are dealing with since the county they play in put the “strict” in restriction. Because of the incredibly contagious virus that has plagued the planet this year (have you heard about it yet?), you are no longer allowed to play contact sports (breathe a sigh of relief, frisbee enthusiasts) in Santa Clara County where Levi’s Stadium is located. So naturally, the Niners had to find a new home, and the Cardinals apparently opened up theirs. Is it awkward? I’m sure. Two division rivals living together. Or maybe it’s more a time share thing. If that’s the case, I hope the Niners got a free HBO subscription, a jetski or something else sweet when they signed up. Otherwise, why would you get lured into a time share?

Anyway, don’t start a 49er this week. They’re probably all sore from the couch crashing.

Check out last week’s Who NOT To Start…

The post Who NOT To Start In Fantasy Football – Week 13 appeared first on Korked Bats.

You can go just about anywhere on the World Wide Web to receive fantasy football advice for who you should start every week. ESPN, Yahoo, Better Homes and Gardens, literally anywhere! However, there is only one place on the World Wide Web where you can go to receive fantasy football advice of who you SHOULD NOT start every week. And that place is KorkedBats.com. You’re welcome.

Week 12

Well, we’re just about 3/4ths of the way through the season. Hopefully many of you are still alive. Not just in your fantasy leagues, but in general. The Sunday after Thanksgiving is always a vital day. Not only are you probably still food coma’d, but depending on your family situation, you may or may not have jumped out a second-story window during a political debate. The good news is, the holidays are half-over. You’ve got a few weeks to recover before Christmas (or Hanukkah – shout out Judaism!), so rest up. And let’s win some fantasy football games in the meantime, ok?

This one might be obvious, but this week, you should NOT start any Denver Broncos quarterback. And while this may seem obvious this week, considering every single one of them is in quarantine, this advice is actually relevant for any week of the NFL season. And really any week since Peyton Manning retired.

The Broncos, who are GM’d by one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time, have been somewhat cursed at the quarterback position. Paxton Lynch, Brock Osweiler, Trevor Siemian, Case Keenum, Joe Flacco, (maybe) Drew Lock (too early to call), Jeff Driskel, Brandon Allen, and don’t forget Brett Rypien. And hell, let’s go ahead and throw Kendall Hinton to that list too.

You know Kendall Hinton, right? He’s the Broncos practice squad wide receiver who was called up yesterday to start under center this week. I’m sure that will go well. I mean, it can’t be any worse then when Joe Flacco was a Bronco, amirite?!

And sure, the Broncos are playing a team who is essentially in the same boat as their only choices at quarterback are Jameis Winston and a Mormon Tim Tebow. So here’s some bonus advice: don’t start a Saints quarterback either.

So look, if you like winning fantasy football, steer clear of Broncos quarterbacks… not just this week, but every week.

Check out last week’s Who NOT To Start…

The post Who NOT To Start In Fantasy Football – Week 12 appeared first on Korked Bats.

You can go just about anywhere on the World Wide Web to receive fantasy football advice for who you should start every week. ESPN, Yahoo, Better Homes and Gardens, literally anywhere! However, there is only one place on the World Wide Web where you can go to receive fantasy football advice of who you SHOULD NOT start every week. And that place is KorkedBats.com. You’re welcome.

Week 11

We’re back with more information you probably don’t need if your fantasy team is performing well, but probably do need if your fantasy team sucks. Heed this advice. We’re not just doing this for our own sake. We’re doing this for you. It’s the most charitable thing we do here at Korked Bats. We could’ve volunteered to serve Thanksgiving dinner at a shelter, but we opted to give crappy fantasy advice on the internet instead. العاب ربح You’re welcome. Now utilize this info. There are starving people who will kill for this kind of info. ماهي لعبة الروليت

This week we highly suggest you do not start anyone trying to tackle Derrick Henry. The Tennessee Titans are playing the Baltimore Ravens this week, and as The #1 Derrick Henry Fan Site On The Internet, we feel the need to remind you of what happened the last time Derrick Henry took the field in Baltimore. It led to one of their players to get double-tapped in the back.

Which led to a downward spiral that not only got him caught being intimate with his brother, but also led to him failing to make an NFL roster this year. لعبة بلاك جاك تحميل

I know there aren’t many fantasy leagues who allow you to play individual defensive players, so maybe just don’t start the entire Ravens defense today. I’m just saying. The city of Baltimore is going to roped off as a murder scene – more than it already is – when Derrick Henry gets done today.

The post Who NOT To Start In Fantasy Football – Week 11 appeared first on Korked Bats.

You can go just about anywhere on the World Wide Web to receive fantasy football advice for who you should start every week. ESPN, Yahoo, Better Homes and Gardens, literally anywhere! However, there is only one place on the World Wide Web where you can go to receive fantasy football advice of who you SHOULD NOT start every week. And that place is KorkedBats.com. You’re welcome.

Week 10

We took a week off last week. Partly because every fantasy team (and fantasy guru) needs a BYE week, but also partly because I got COVID. And it sucked. And it knocked me out hard. But look, those are just excuses. We have a fantasy league for you to win and or finish 4th or lower in – because again, let’s be real, if you’re getting your fantasy football advice from a comedic sports blog, more so a weekly blog called Who NOT To Start, then you’re probably not doing great in your fantasy league. But enough chit-chat, let’s get to it.

This week you should NOT start literally any golfer. I know, I know. It’s very tempting, especially with The Masters on today. But I can almost assure you your fantasy football league does not account for golfers. No matter how good they are. Plus, I’ve never played fantasy golf, but I imagine it’s like regular golf where the lowest score wins. And speaking from experience, I can assure you the lowest score doesn’t win in fantasy football.

So bench your Tiger’s, bench your Justin Thomas’s, bench your Brooks Koepka’s, bench that one golfer who’s caddy looks like the caddy from Happy Gilmore.

If you don’t want to heed this advice, and you’re deadset on starting a golfer on your fantasy football team, then start either Bryson DeChambeau or Tiger. They’ll be sure to get you high scores.

Check last week’s WNTS advice here.

The post Who NOT To Start In Fantasy Football – Week 10 appeared first on Korked Bats.

You can go just about anywhere on the World Wide Web to receive fantasy football advice for who you should start every week. ESPN, Yahoo, Better Homes and Gardens, literally anywhere! However, there is only one place on the World Wide Web where you can go to receive fantasy football advice of who you SHOULD NOT start every week. And that place is KorkedBats.com. You’re welcome.

Week 8

We’re at a pivotal point in the fantasy football season. Either your team sucks or you’re still kinda in it. That’s it. Those are the only two options. Because let’s be real, if your team was amazing, you wouldn’t have clicked on this link. If your team was in first place, you wouldn’t be turning to a random comedic sports blog for fantasy football advice. Especially a blog entitled Who NOT To Start. So for those of you who suck or are still kinda in it, pay attention…

This week, you should not start Antonio Brown’s barber. Now as you know, the human TMZ headline Antonio Brown is back in the league which may make you tempted to start either him or his barber on your fantasy team. And look, I get it. The temptation is there because of all the many great hairstyles Antonio Brown has had in the past.

All pretty good hair styles, including the Lego man look. But with the good, comes the bad. And the bad, is atrocious. It’s like if you start Kirk Cousins, you’re going to get the touchdown passes, but you have to take the interceptions with it. Well, if you start Antonio Brown’s barber, you know you have to take the blonde mustache as well.

Sure he styles AB’s hair, but you also have to assume he’s the one who dyes the mustache. And that is something, that I can only assume, accounts for negative fantasy points. And anyone who expose our society to something so awful deserves to benched. Forever.

Blonde mustaches don’t even look good on blonde people, so it’s comprehendible how bad it looks on AB.

Check last week’s WNTS advice here.

The post Who NOT To Start In Fantasy Football – Week 8 appeared first on Korked Bats.

You can go just about anywhere on the World Wide Web to receive fantasy football advice for who you should start every week. ESPN, Yahoo, Better Homes and Gardens, literally anywhere! However, there is only one place on the World Wide Web where you can go to receive fantasy football advice of who you SHOULD NOT start every week. And that place is KorkedBats.com. You’re welcome.

Week 7

By this point of the season, you probably have a clearer picture of whether or not your fantasy team is making the playoffs or not. And let’s be real, if you haven’t been heeding our advice each week, they you probably aren’t going to the playoffs. You think we just write this column every week just for the fun of it? Hell no. We write it to convey this wealth of knowledge on to you. Do you think anyone these days can pay for a domain name, website hosting, and run their own blog? Well, maybe. But no everyone does. So that makes us experts by default. So take this advice.

This week, you should NOT start Mark Robert Ellis. Now, I know many of you probably already have him starting on your fantasy roster, especially considering you’ve seen him in just about every football movie ever made. He was the quarterbacks coach in Any Given Sunday, a referee in Varsity Blues and Radio, the head coach of San Diego in The Replacements, he was also a football coach in The Shaggy Dog, and who can forget his memorable role as ‘stretcher guy’ in The Longest Yard? He was also in a bunch of baseball movies like Summer Catch, Hardball, and The Rookie. So he probably started on your fantasy baseball team too. But we’re here to tell you that just because Mark Robert Ellis is in every football movie does NOT mean he will help your fantasy football team. Because most leagues, to our knowledge, do not offer points per cameo. If we’re wrong, then by all means, start him in your FLEX.

Just because he can make your football movie better, does not mean he can make your fantasy team better. So just bench him and maybe start Ronald Jones or something instead.

The post Who NOT To Start In Fantasy Football – Week 7 appeared first on Korked Bats.

You can go just about anywhere on the World Wide Web to receive fantasy football advice for who you should start every week. ESPN, Yahoo, Better Homes and Gardens, literally anywhere! However, there is only one place on the World Wide Web where you can go to receive fantasy football advice of who you SHOULD NOT start every week. And that place is KorkedBats.com. You’re welcome.

Week 6

Many fantasy football advice columns this morning will probably tell you to start Jonathan Taylor this week. The Indianapolis Colts running back has had 32 touches in Weeks 3 and 4, which is nine more than Nyheim Hines (23) and 12 more than Jordan Wilkins (20). However, as the title of this blog suggests, this is a blog advising you on who NOT to start.

And this week, we are going to one-up the Jonathan Taylor claim and highly suggest you do NOT start Jonathan Taylor Thomas, the lovable child actor from hit TV shows and movies such as Home Improvement, Man Of The House, I’ll Be Home For Christmas, and from countless Teen Beat full-page spreads.

Where is Jonathan Taylor Thomas today? Who the hell knows. Which is why we suggest not starting him. More people knew where Vince Young was after he chucked his shoulder pads in the stands and went missing for a few days than they know where J.T.T. is today. So maybe don’t put him on your starting roster this week.

I know that may be hard, because just look at the kid. He was totes adorbs back then.

He made teenage kids WANT to wear overalls.

But today? Well, this may not be official, but here is an artist’s rendering of what Jonathan Taylor Thomas looks like today.

Yeesh. Not great. So feel free to start Jonathan Taylor, but keep Jonathan Taylor Thomas away from your starting lineup.

Check last week’s WNTS advice here.

The post Who NOT To Start In Fantasy Football – Week 6 appeared first on Korked Bats.

You can go just about anywhere on the World Wide Web to receive fantasy football advice for who you should start every week. ESPN, Yahoo, Better Homes and Gardens, literally anywhere! However, there is only one place on the World Wide Web where you can go to receive fantasy football advice of who you SHOULD NOT start every week. And that place is KorkedBats.com. You’re welcome.

Week 5

If this blog was called Who To Start, it would be like every other fantasy football advice website on the internet, but also, we would probably encourage you to start either COVID-19, NFL schedulers, or any Tennessee Titans player, especially if you’re in a PPR league (points per rona). But this is a Who NOT To Start Blog. So let’s get into it.

This week, you should NOT start MVS. Now you’re probably thinking, “you mean Marquez Valdez-Scantling, wide receiver for the Green Bay Packers?” And while that is a good guess because he’s coming off a game where he only caught four of eight targets for 45 yards, the answer is no.

I’m referring to Mark “Vin Diesel” Sinclair. Not only should you not start this guy because he’s not on an NFL roster, but you should also not start this guy because of that new song he released with Kygo.

It’s so bad, I think it might be good? But I’m not sure. What I am sure of is he should be nowhere near your fantasy football lineup this week. Bench him. Trust me.

Check last week’s WNTS advice here.

The post Who NOT To Start In Fantasy Football – Week 5 appeared first on Korked Bats.

You can go just about anywhere on the World Wide Web to receive fantasy football advice for who you should start every week. ESPN, Yahoo, Better Homes and Gardens, literally anywhere! However, there is only one place on the World Wide Web where you can go to receive fantasy football advice of who you SHOULD NOT start every week. And that place is KorkedBats.com. You’re welcome.

Week 4

Here we are, with another week full of coronavirus NFL football. At points this week, it may have felt like we would never get here. But we have, so let’s put our heads down and continue on before any other bad news this week hits. With that said, let’s talk about who you should NOT start on your fantasy football team this week.

This week you should NOT start Governor Chris Christie. Now I know photos of him just exude athletic prowess, but I assure you, you’re mistaken. Governor Christie is not exactly a two-sport athlete. He’s not even a one-sport athlete. He’s no Deion Sanders. More of a Colonel Sanders. But that’s not even the main reason behind our suggestion not to start him.

Like Cam Newton, half of the Tennessee Titans roster, and the president of our country, Governor Christie tested positive for the rona this week, which per NFL protocols would sideline him for the week. But on top of that, he’s not even on an NFL roster. So it wouldn’t be the best decision to start him on your fantasy team. Even in your FLEX position.

Also, we don’t do this very often, but here’s a bonus ‘NOT To Start’ tip for you. Maybe steer clear of Chiefs practice squad quarterback and former XFL great Jordan Ta’amu, who played the role of Cam Newton this week in practice.

Hope this helps. Wear a mask.

Check last week’s WNTS advice here.

The post Who NOT To Start In Fantasy Football – Week 4 appeared first on Korked Bats.