If you’ve clicked on this blog, I’ve already got you further than I expected. For whatever reason, the XFL hasn’t jumped out to solid ratings like it did in its last two iterations. But I’m here to tell you, it should. Because what the XFL is doing now is what the NFL will (and should) be doing in a few years.

Korked Bats hyping the XFL isn’t anything new. We were big on the XFL 2.0 just three years ago (shout-out to that engaged couple, hope their relationship lasted longer than the league). Hell, personally I’ve been in on the league since XFL 1.0 (shout-out Tommy Maddox). I might be the only person you know who played XFL Fantasy. I was certainly not the He in He Hate Me, because I Loved Him and everything about the XFL. It also helped that first iteration of the league launched at the height of my Attitude Era love for the WWE.

And look, my love for the XFL wasn’t just rubbed off adoration from my passion for watching Mankind, D-Generation X, and Sable (hubba, hubba). Sure it may have started there, but by actually watching the sport, I noticed they did so many things different from the boring and safe NFL. And many of the things they introduced in their first broadcasts are now mainstays in NFL broadcasts today.

The XFL gave us:

• the first ever skycam
• cameramen walking on the field for the first time
• in-game interviews
• football in both Los Angeles and Vegas

And now they’re continuing their innovation with things that would be unheard of in NFL broadcasts… at least for now. Like in-game interviews with players and coaches, mic’d up players AND coordinators, scorebugs that provide betting lines, and most importantly, full transparency into their replay booth.

Titans fans sure would appreciate this after the non-fumble fumble by Josh Dobbs that cost them a division title. No way they reviewed such a pivotal play in such short amount of time. PEOPLE DON’T FORGET, ROGER! But I digress.

Plus, I don’t know if you know this, but the X in XFL stands for X-treme. Which is exactly what this league is. I mean, AJ McCarron and Ben DiNucci squaring off in a Week 2 Thursday Night matchup? NOTHING SCREAMS X-TREME QUITE LIKE THE NOOCH! A game in which, I watched. And let me tell you, it was fun as hell. I’ve never done cocaine, but I no longer need to after last night. It was like snorting a bump while watching a Jet Li movie and listening to The Chemical Brothers. The most fun I’ve had watching a Thursday Night football game since the Titans and Jaguars rocked Color Rush Unis wearing baby blue and baby poop.

Why do I keep referencing the Titans and Jaguars in this XFL blog? Well, I think that kinda answers itself. But the XFL game I watched last night was hella fun, and with the XFL’s scoring system – going for your choice of 1, 2, OR THREE (!) after touchdowns – makes fewer games out of reach in the closing minutes. Just ask the St. Louis Battlehawks (KaKaw!). They trailed 15-3 with 90 seconds left in Week 1. And they won that game. Without Patrick Mahomes, either. Imagine the rush you felt watching that Bills-Chiefs Divisional Round game from last year, and just mix in AJ McCarron. Oh hell yeah. I can already feel your veins pulsating. And in last night’s AJ McCarron special, there were like 3 lead changes in the final 7 minutes too. CHOP IT UP ONTO A MIRROR!

And look, I know… The XFL, in its first week, did not do well in the ratings department. Leading many to dawg on it and not give it a chance. Popular opinion still plays in people’s TV choices. But trust me, the XFL is worth the watch. When football went away after the Super Bowl, we all got sad. Our football high was gone. And here the XFL is offering us not just a needle, but a rubberband to tie our arm with. And you wanna turn them down? Why? One… Is this or is this not the XFL? Yes, it is. Two… Do you or do you not currently have a pulse? Yes, you do. Let’s watch some XFL.

The post The XFL Is Actually Fun, You Guys appeared first on Korked Bats.

This past weekend was the first weekend without football until August.

SIKE!

There was Fan Controlled Football.

What the hell is that? Well, I’m not exactly sure. But it looked and felt like football. I tried to break down not only what this league is but also some of the plays that went down in this opening weekend. Including cameos from Johnny Manziel, Marshawn Lynch, and kinda Tony Romo.

Will this league make it? I hope so. And not just because I’m a sucker for a new football league. (We miss you so much, XFL!) But also just because it will give us some football to watch until football comes back.

Will I watch? Probably not live. But I’ll catch the highlights on YouTube or Twitter or something. But that’s only because I’m a millennial and that’s how I consume content.

The post A Breakdown of Fan Controlled Football appeared first on Korked Bats.

I went on the radio in Nashville yesterday (as I do every Monday – not to brag), to share a few takes, one of which this week was about the 3 things I hope The Rock does with his recent purchase of the XFL. If you know Korked Bats, you know this is a big XFL blog. We love it. I even had the opportunity to go to a game BEFORE it folded for a second time – again, not to brag. I even got to witness a couple get engaged at the game. (Side note: there’s not a chance that engagement is still on. Not just because of the global pandemic, but because they got engaged at a freaking XFL game!) Anyways, the three things I’m gonna need The Rock to change with this XFL reboot are…

1. bring back names on the jerseys
2. give us new names of the current teams
3. make fighting legal

To hear my reasons for each, check out the video above. The end of my hit also includes a quick take on the St. Louis Cardinals going to a casino during a global pandemic like a bunch of morons. Check it out.

P.S. Thanks to the 3HL boys and 104.5 The Zone for having me on. Always a fun time on that station.

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The post 3 Things The Rock Needs To Change With His XFL Reboot appeared first on Korked Bats.

We got more junk this week, and it’s a lot of fun. Here are some of the top moments:

(1:19) – Dwayne Johnson purchased the XFL, and surprisingly for not that much.

(33:52) – Pretty sure the NFL has securely solved the COVID prevention problem.

(37:00) – Baseball has not.

(1:05:23) – This week’s FRANK FACT is about how much money Jeff Bezos has.

(1:22:20) – Let’s put things that grind our gears on to The List…

Listen on Apple Podcasts here

EP12: How To Break Up With Your Fantasy Football League | RUNDOWN:

1:19 – Dwayne Johnson Buys The XFL

20:40 – Odell Beckham Jr. Doesn’t Want An NFL Season

33:52 – The Denver Broncos Have Solved COVID

37:00 – Jeter Threw The Marlins Franchise Under The Bus

44:51 – The Cardinals Caught COVID From A Casino

57:11 – Yoenis Cespedes Opts Out of 2020 Season

1:05:23 – FRANK FACT

1:16:13 – COFFEE BREAK

1:19:44 – Bowdoin College Football Update

1:22:20 – THE LIST: Coronavirus

1:26:48 – THE LIST: People Who Use Turn Signals In Parking Lots/Garages

1:28:50 – THE LIST: Facebook Giveaways

The post The Junk Drawer: The Rock Buys The XFL, Cardinals Went To A Casino, And Jeff Bezos Is Rich appeared first on Korked Bats.

SOURCE – As the bankrupt XFL looks for a buyer, the buyer could be its founder.

Via Daniel Kaplan of TheAthletic.com, XFL creditors “seem to believe” McMahon is positioning to buy the league out of bankruptcy. Separately, XFL president Jeffrey Pollack has contacted stadiums in Seattle and St. Louis about reinstating the league’s lease agreements.

Actually, it’s probably more like this…

You hear that? It’s a pulse. Grab the paddles. Turn on the defibrillator. We’re brining this bad boy back to life. If you don’t know how to read between the lines and/or read at all, this is basically hinting at the fact that XFL might not be dead afterall.

If that’s McMahon’s plan, and if it succeeds, he’d have to rebuild the league from the ground up, re-hiring coaches and players and others necessary to running the league. Anyone who previously worked for the league and was stiffed in any way may not be inclined to return (most notably, Oliver Luck won’t be back as the Commissioner), but if folks want to work in football and unless they’ve landed in the NFL, it’s not as if they have many alternatives.

You thought Vince McMahon was done trying to make the XFL work? Clearly you don’t know Vince McMahon. This is a guy who literally showed a nervous Rob Gronkowski how to do a stage dive firsthand in rehearsals for Wrestlemania 36. Vince McMahon is 74-years-old.

Plus, you really think a league that re-spawned 20 years after it’s first go around was really dead for good? This is less shocking than the killer in a slasher movie always getting one last burst of life after being killed. As long as it’s owner is stage diving, the XFL will still be kicking.

This isn’t your grandpa’s spring professional football league startup. This is the XFL and THE X IS FOR XTREME! And what’s more Xtreme than faking your own death? Another thing Vince McMahon has done before.

This news is incredible, and a total WWE move. If it’s scripted, I don’t care. All I care about is that the XFL coming back in some way, shape or form. If you’ve been reading Korked Bats for a while, you know this is a HUGE XFL house.

Not to mention this league gave us one of the more awkward moments of 2020…

Let it be known that this league didn’t fail because it was unsuccessful. This league failed because a global pandemic outbreak halfway into it’s first season. The XFL was very successful and even thrived in two of the eight markets, Seattle and St. Louis. Seattle, of course, already having a pro football team. It thrived because it was entertaining, it was creative, and it knew exactly what it was. And it had talent. Obviously, two of the eight quarterbacks in the league got picked up by NFL teams, and a bunch of others used to be on NFL teams.

In fact, I went to a St. Louis Battlehawks–Seattle Dragons game this year. Yup, that’s right. I will one day tell my grandkids that I was one of the lucky few who went to an XFL game in 2020. But kidding aside, the atmosphere felt like a playoff game. A playoff game with only the lower bowl sold because of league rules. It was electric.

The XFL wasn’t the NFL. And that’s ok. In fact, it’s kind of what made it awesome. So please bring it back. Hell, bring it back right now. What’s more Xtreme than playing full-contact football in the middle of a global pandemic?

The post In The Most Vince McMahon Move Possible… THE XFL AIN’T DEAD YET! appeared first on Korked Bats.

Wow. An XFL stadium proposal? When Vince McMahon promised x-treme football, he wasn’t kidding. This wasn’t just a stadium proposal. This wasn’t just an XFL stadium proposal. This was an XFL stadium proposal after the jumbotron shell game.

The St. Louis Battlehawks are known for many firsts. They’re the first team to run the awkwardly lined-up kickoffs back for a touchdown.

They’re the first to try and recreate the Bills Mafia tailgates before their own games. And they’re the first to have an in-game proposal. *sigh

You can break down this beautiful and equally tragic moment down into four moments…

The guy gets to finally implement the engagement he had been planning for weeks. And no, that’s not a typo, because there’s not a chance this dude thought up this plan for longer than that. In fact, he was probably watching the opening week of the XFL with his bros and thought aloud, “You know, I think I’m gonna ask my girl (let’s call her Amber) to be my wife at the Battlehawks game in a few weeks.” To which the other bro’s said, “DO IT, DUDE!” as they cheers’d their Natty Lights.

The girl, Amber, nuzzles her face into his chest to hide the sheer terror look in her face. “I hope this doesn’t make it onto the TV broadcast,” she thinks to herself.

While those may seem to be tears of joy, they’re actually just legitimate tears, because she just got proposed to at a freaking XFL game. Now she has to think of a lie about how she got engaged to tell for the rest of her life, because there is no humanly possible way she can make “in between the third and fourth quarters on the jumbotron at the Battlehawks-Dragons game” sound romantic. Hell, this wasn’t even the FIRST Battlehawks home game. It was the second.

But hey, at least they got to hold up this punny sign playing off of the Battlehawks’ official team hashtag: #ClearedToEngage. Look, I have an unhealthy obsession with puns and yet this still makes me cringe.

Why?

It’s not that a majority of women don’t like stadium proposals. It’s that they DESPISE them. I thought this was supposed to be universally known for all men, kind of like how you never pee in a urinal directly next to another man unless you absolutely have to.

Women dream of two things since the moment they slide out of their mama’s womb: 1. their wedding day, and 2. how they get proposed to. I can assure you of the 4.5 billion women (rough estimate) on planet earth right now, not a single one of them dreamt of being asked to marry the love of their life at a Seattle Dragons-St. Louis Battlehawks XFL game.

I mean, could you even imagine?

One day after 1st grade, Samantha, Bridgette, and Dana are having a tea party (or whatever young girls do) in their room when the topic of getting engaged comes up. Samantha says she hopes to get engaged in a hot air balloon made of flowers, Bridgette says she hopes to get engaged on a cruise ship made of flowers, and Dana says she hopes to get engaged at a Battlehawks-Dragons game. “What even is that?” the other girls ask. “It’s the XFL, an extreme football league that will start in 2000, last only one season, end, then be revived twenty years later.” The other girls will then choose to go home and ask their parents to never set up a playdate with Dana ever again.

Let’s take this hypothetical even further.

How in the hell will these two explain this to their children one day? Like I’d rather have the birds and the bee’s talk with my kids than try to explain what the XFL was and how mommy and daddy got engaged at one of their games.

In the power rankings of places women want to get engaged, it goes:

1. in front of The Eiffel Tower

2. top of the Empire State Building (thank Sleepless in Seattle for this one)

3. the Grand Canyon

4. on a secluded island in the Caribbean

5. literally anywhere else

…and now, here are the bottom five:

996. a Wal-Mart parking lot

997. in the movie theater after seeing Requiem For A Dream

998. over FaceTime while you’re at Coachella and she’s in the hospital having her gall bladder removed

999. your ex’s house

1,000. an XFL game, right after the jumbotron shell game

So if you’re a D.C. Defenders or Tampa Bay Vipers fan in a steady relationship that’s ready to take it to the next level, maybe leave that ringbox at home and opt for the hot air balloon or cruise ship made of flowers.

The post We Had Our First XFL Stadium Engagement And Congrats To The Soon-To-Be Broken Up Couple! appeared first on Korked Bats.

The XFL was good you guys. Now look, I’ll be the first to admit that the F in the XFL still needs some work, but a brand new league with no pre-season, I’m willing to give them a few weeks before they catch their stride. With that said, the X and L were very impressive, which I will get to a little later.

This XFL reboot features eight teams mostly from cities that already have NFL franchises. Bold strategy, I guess? Those teams are:

Dallas Renegades — Correct me if I’m wrong, but I feel like there’s already an MLS team with this same name. I think they play in Columbus… the Columbus Dallas Renegades.

Houston Roughnecks — I’m sure in about 20 years this team name will be deemed racist somehow, and we’ll have another Washington Redskins situation on our hands

Los Angeles Wildcats — That’s a really creative name… I wonder how they came up with that? Not cats… but WILDcats? Interesting.

New York Guardians — They can help sign any consent forms for XFL teams who are under the age of 18.

Tampa Bay Vipers — Oliver Stone think this one up? This legitimately sounds like a team name from Any Given Sunday.

Seattle Dragons — This team literally just shares a logo with UAB.

D.C. Defenders — Somebody watched a little too much Olympus Has Fallen before coming up with this team name.

St. Louis Battlehawks — Who’s one of the most hated teams in St. Louis? The Chicago Blackhawks? Ok. Let’s name it that, but slightly different… How about Battlehawks? Sure!

While I am excited about this new XFL, we must first remember where the XFL originally came from.

Do you guys remember the original XFL? It was essentially what you got if you put mediocre amateur football into a blender with anabolic steroids, a heaping scoop of creatine, and a pinch of cocaine.

The O.G. XFL was He Hate Me, the Orlando Rage, no fair catches, Tommy Maddox, the Memphis Maniax, new camera angles, the black and red football, no extra points, the Las Vegas Outlaws, and oh yeah, Jeff freaking Brohm.

You might remember the XFL as a joke of a league that lasted all of one season. I remember the XFL as an innovative titan that took the NFL years to catch up with. And while I usually write with a lot of sarcasm on this website, there is none intended in that previous sentence. I’m 100% serious.

The XFL was the first to ever bring us:

• the first ever skycam
• cameramen walking on the field for the first time
• in-game interviews
• football in both Los Angeles and Vegas

The NFL adopted many of these innovative things the XFL pulled off, and I think we will see the same thing this time around as well. More on that in a bit.

I like to consider myself a little bit of an XFL expert, or rather an XFL Xpert. Why? Because in the one year of the original XFL’s existence (sorry, Xistence), I played XFL Fantasy Football. You’re probably thinking, they had XFL fantasy back then? And the answer is yes. And I know it’s not cool to talk about your fantasy team, but Tommy Maddox was my quarterback. Did I win my league? No, my buddy Frank did. But it was probably the most extreme fantasy I’ve ever played.

If you don’t remember the first go-around with the XFL, allow me to refresh your memory. This was a football league where Vince McMahon was the Roger Goodell. Last names on jerseys were replaced with whatever you wanted – most of which sounded like b-list rappers: X-Rated, Hit Squad, E-Rupt, Big Daddy. Oh, and the coin toss traded in currency for concunssions. It was a melee that dislocated one guy’s shoulder in the first week of the season. Allow Jesse “The Body” Ventura to explain.

If that didn’t instantly grow hair on your chest, then check your pulse, because you’ve probably flatlined. Black coffee, self oil changes, and the rarest steak you can find think the first XFL was manly.

However, as we saw with the #MeToo movement, too much manly is not a good thing. Thus making it not the greatest business model. And after one season the XFL folded. Maybe it was too extreme? Maybe it was because the end of some games got cut off because they had to get to their regularly scheduled episode of Saturday Night Live. Or maybe it’s just because it wasn’t planned out very well.

But that’s the thing about this reboot. Normally, the reboot is never as good as the original. Trust me, I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. But this reboot is incredible.

It’s more viable, it’s more polished, and most importantly, it’s more self-aware. The XFL isn’t selling itself as a more extreme NFL, but rather an alternative to NFL when you can’t watch the NFL.

To me, the XFL is a self-aware lab rat willing to test things out that we will eventually see in the NFL. Take for example the kickoffs…

It’s ridiculous. It’s weird. It’s confusing. And it just might work. I firmly believe you will see the NFL alter their kickoffs to at least be a modified version of this. Why? It’s safer. And the only thing the NFL loves more than money and “randomly” drug testing athletes with records is that word “safer.”

I also enjoyed some of the new rules the XFL implemented. For example, the double forward pass as long as the first pass is caught behind the line of scrimmage. I watched a lot of XFL this weekend and didn’t see this happen, but just the idea that the rule is there makes me feel glad. Although, we did see some pretty cool plays.

That’s former Ohio State quarterback Cardale Jones. He didn’t go to Ohio State to play school, and he didn’t come to the XFL to play bad.

I also thoroughly enjoy the 10-minute halftimes.

Why spend time waiting for football when you could be watching football? I’m pretty sure Confucius originally asked that. I also oddly like the scoring system. Because a 17-point game with less than two minutes is suddenly still a game, since a team can opt to go for 1, 2, or 3 points after a touchdown. Two 9-point touchdowns and you’re back in it.

The XFL also showed us a number of other things this weekend that I think you will more than likely see in the NFL very soon. The biggest of all: access.

We had cameras and mic’s in referee huddles, in replay review rooms, in locker rooms during halftime, and on sidelines. In fact, at times, it was too much access.

The hardest hit of the weekend didn’t come on the field, but rather in the control room on that dump button.

The stars of this weekend weren’t the washed up head coaches or the no-name players from Southern Louisiana Tech A&M. The stars of this weekend were the sideline reporters. Whenever a play was made or a screw-up happened, these sideline reporters had their mics in the faces of players.

“You just threw a costly interception that lost your team the game, walk us through that.”

“Your fumble ended your team’s chance to win and cost your team the $100,000 bonus. What will you say to your teammates?”

“Your wife was seen smooching the beer man in the stands. Will you file for divorce?”

Despite this league carrying the weight of the NFL shield, it still was cool to get a peek behind the curtain of a professional football team. Hearing what went on in the headsets, listening in to halftime conversations, and getting to see teams shotgun Bud Light Seltzer after wins.

Wouldn’t have expected anything other than the team from St. Louis to slam Anheuser-Busch products after their win.

Another other thing the XFL did that I think will be hitting the NFL very soon: the spread and over/under included on the ESPN telecast. unfortunately, FOX didn’t have this… yet. I wouldn’t be surprised if they added it to their graphics package before the end of the season. I should note that I’m not a big gambler. And by saying, “I’m not a big gambler” is my trying-to-stay-cool way of saying, “I’ve never gambled on sports in my life.” However, I’m very intrigued in the industry, and I loved knowing the spread and over/under of the game I was watching to let me know how gamblers felt while watching the game.

SIDE NOTE: In the inaugural game between the D.C. Defenders and the Seattle Dragons, the spread was D.C. -9.5 and the over/under was 51.5. D.C. won by 11 and the point total was 50. HOW THE HELL DID VEGAS NAIL BOTH OF THOSE NUMBERS WITHOUT HAVING EITHER OF THESE TEAMS FULL OF MOSTLY NO-NAME PLAYERS PLAYING A SINGLE GAME IN THE HISTORY OF ANYTHING?!?!

All in all, the XFL impressed me. I was worried this was just going to be another AAF situation, but one weekend in, it just feels bigger. It has the support of the major networks, the stadiums are fuller, and all the players are friends, apparently.

The XFL makes me happy, because like many of you, I was bummed the Monday after the Super Bowl knowing we wouldn’t have football until August. But after one weekend of this extreme football league, I expect to tune back in again next week. And the week after that. And the week after that. And every week after that until this ten-week season and two-week playoff is complete. And I’m sure mine and all wives are thrilled.

If you haven’t given the XFL a chance, I strongly urge you to do so. Because after a long six-day hiatus following the Super Bowl, I can gladly say that FOOTBALL IS BACK!

The post I Like The XFL And You Should Too appeared first on Korked Bats.

Not to be the bearer of bad news, but there is a good chance we could lose both the NFL and the NBA in the next year.  Both players’ unions are at odds with owners about how the leagues should be run into the future.  Both sides are threatening a “strike” or “lockout” of sorts.  Basically, this means there will be far less entertaining things on television.  So instead of coming up with compromises the unions should make, or an appeal to the owners who want a few more million dollars to go with their billions, I’ve decided we need to start seriously considering plan B.

What happens if professional football and basketball are gone for good?  What will the worldwide leader in sports cover?  Will baseball again become America’s sport (fat chance)?  Below is a comprehensive list that executives at ESPN should consider when deciding how to fill the gaping hole the NFL and NBA will leave:

1. Bring back the XFL. I know this sounds stupid.  Heck, it didn’t even last for a second season initially.  But think of all the talent available!  This won’t be like Keanu suiting up in The Replacements. There will be much better acting. This is LeBron’s chance to finally be the tight end Cleveland dreamt of.  Can you imagine John Wall in the backfield?  For this to be successful, we would need some serious changes from the first time around.  Instead of Vince McMahon running the league, we would need to appoint a new commissioner.  I nominate Jim Halpert from the Office.  If anyone has watched the Office over the years, you would recognize Jim is always striving for a level-playing field (think Dunderball).  He is willing to make sacrifices for everyone’s entertainment.  This quality makes him an excellent candidate for commissioner of the new XFL.
2. Place ex-NFL and ex-NBA players onto the PGA Tour for comedy’s sake. Can you imagine Terrell Owens playing golf?  On second thought, maybe this is a great idea.  Let’s get Jets CB Antonio Cromartie a PGA Tour card so he can take care of all the “distractions” that have been bothering Tiger Woods.  In no time at all we’ll have a new record for most Major Tournament victories and a Guinness World Record for most offspring by a single human being.  The Tour’s new slogan could be “Taking Care of Business.”
3. Take Slam Ball mainstream. I think everyone from age 18-28 knows why this would be a perfect idea.  Heck, kids ages 4-10 think this is a perfect idea too. We’ll have an array of ex-NFL and ex-NBA stars with nowhere to go… but up!  Get it?  Let’s throw some trampolines down at Madison Square Garden and see what happens. Who doesn’t love trampolines? I’m sure there will be tons of sponsors lining up at the opportunity to advertise at the Sprite Slam Ball Slam Dunk Competition.  The potential number of dunking superstars increases exponentially with the trampolines!  Can you imagine Rajon Rondo’s athleticism combined with an improved 48” on his vertical leap?  That is must-see-TV.
4. More World Series of Poker (just kidding).
5. Less World Series of Poker (not kidding).
6. Force ex-NFL and ex-NBA players into completely obscure sports. I’d like to see Kobe Bryant as a jockey, Peyton Manning as a hockey goalie, Dwight Howard in fencing, Larry Fitzgerald as a curler, and Kevin Garnett and Tim Tebow pairing up for a couples figure skating routine (ala Michaels and McElroy in Blades of Glory).  Heck, Rex Ryan could be a physical trainer for any of these sports (that way he gets to work around lots of feet).
7. Make the Olympics and every-other year event. Why do we have to wait four years for the summer and winter Olympics?  Our whole country gets excited about athletes who haven’t been around long enough to annoy us (or haven’t discovered Twitter yet).  This is a win for everyone.  More cities can host it.  These athletes can compete in twice as many games as they would’ve in the past.   Individual career records would be shattered.  I personally would love to see the Dream Team destroy Pau Gasol’s heritage every other year.

So clearly, ESPN has nothing to fear with the impending lockouts.  They’ll continue to be The Worldwide Leader, we’ll just have to deal with less trade rumors, retirement talks, and contract negotiations.  If you put it that way, this sounds like a much happier sports world to live in.

The post The Worldwide Leader in Lockouts appeared first on Korked Bats.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Today is National Signing Day.

I don’t really have much to say about this, but it at least needs to be noted. After all, Korked Bats is where pretty much everyone goes to get their up to the minute breaking news in the sports world, right? Well, for all you Alabama, Florida, Ohio State, Texas, LSU, etc. fans, I hope you enjoy your monopoly over 4 and 5 star players. As for me, I’ll be slowly slipping into a state of depression as I realize top recruits don’t want to play football at Kentucky. What? Is that 1951 National Championship that was awarded years after it actually happened not enough to tip the scales for you? No? Crap.

Welp, it’s pretty clear where Alabama stands in the “is cheerleading a sport” argument.

Recently the University of Alabama cheerleading squad pulled a monumental upset in taking down 18 time national champion Kentucky for their first title since 1984. In their first practice following the victory, head coach David McDowell informed the team they would not be receiving championship rings from the university.

“We definitely expected rings,” said Josh Olson, a squad member. “Kentucky has won 18 times and they have 18 rings to show for them, that the school gave them.”

What’s even worse? The squad members decided to purchase rings on their own but were told they may not use the Alabama logo in the design because it is trademarked. Ouch.

What’s even worse than that? Alabama STILL has yet to send out any news released acknowledging the national championship.

What’s even worse than all that? This isn’t even the first time I’ve written about cheerleading. Sorry.

These guys have a lot in common.

Not only are they world class athletes who have won at the highest level time and time again, but they also enjoy womanizing at the highest degree! I have no idea when or where this picture is from, but may god have mercy on whoever they bought Jager Bombs for that night. I can’t imagine a more creepy image for decent looking women than the one above. It’s straight out of a horror film. Can’t you just see them walking up to a female, tapping her on the shoulder, and when she turns around there they are, silently smiling.

Happy Anniversary XFL!

Tomorrow the 3rd of February, 2011 marks the 10th anniversary of the only opening day in XFL history. I have a vague memory of the league, but I’m pretty sure I was a pretty big fan although the idea of bigger hits never really materialized. As embarrassing as it may sound, Austin and I actually were in a fantasy XFL league. And even more embarrassing, I won. I had Tommy Maddox.

The Groundhog didn’t see his shadow.

Spring will come early! Spring will come early! Spring will come early!

Good, I hate coldness. And that’s a big groundhog, I think.

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The post Let Me Be Frank With You… appeared first on Korked Bats.

With all the buzz in the sports world revolving around last week’s NFL draft and the upcoming NBA draft in June, I felt it extremely relevant to take a stroll down memory lane to the turn of the century and remember one of the greatest one season professional leagues this earth has ever seen, the XFL.

I, unlike the rest of the planet apparently, thoroughly enjoyed the one season WWF owner Vince McMahon graced us with. From the coin toss turned race/wrestling match, to “He Hate Me”, to the emergence of future Pittsburg Steeler Tommy Maddox, to the fact that a kicker won the MVP of the Super Bowl (which they called the Million Dollar Game), the XFL had it all.

Since the XFL only lasted one season, and I definitely played Fantasy XFL, and definitely won, I consider myself somewhat the “Mel Kiper Jr.” of the XFL. If only the league was still around I might have a job right now.

Anyway, I thought it’d be fun to create a mock XFL draft. (And by “I thought” I mean Aaron, a loyal reader, suggested the idea.) I liked the idea so much I grew out, thickened, colored, and gelled my hair. I then sculpted a picturesque widow’s peak, stole one of Mel’s suits, and broke into the ESPN set to get into the mood. Here’s proof:

Before we get started, let’s take a look at the the first two rounds of the one and only XFL draft in 2000. Try not to laugh. (I bet you didn’t know Scott Milanovich was first pick caliber.)

Round one

Round two

Wow, talk about a star studded class. Don’t try and tell me you’ve heard of any of those guys. If you do, I’ll call you the 15th pick of the XFL draft.

So without further ado, I present to you Frank Ford’s 2010 Mock XFL Draft – Round 1:

1. Barry Bonds

An easy choice for the top spot of this year’s draft, Barry Bonds epitomizes the character the XFL desires. As a man who is willing to do anything to put on muscle (illegal or not), Barry will thrive under the “make up for a lack of talent by getting really strong” culture the XFL is all about. Besides, can someone answer me this: What on earth has this man been doing the past few years? He kind of got busted for steroids (something the XFL not only allows, but endorses the use of) and then COMPLETELY got forgotten about. The funny thing is, he still calls himself a free agent. Well, free agent no longer Barry. There will always be a spot for you in the XFL. (As long as they don’t go bankrupt after a year again).

2. Ted Bundy

Nevermind the fact he’s been dead long enough for his corpse to legally be able to purchase alcohol (he’s been dead for 21 years), Ted Bundy has all the makings of being a star in this league. As an experienced serial killer with murder total estimates ranging from 26 to 100, Ted will bring a killer mentality to any team lucky enough to snag him. Other career highlights include escaping from county jail not once, but twice, an accomplishment almost unheard of these days. If the Birmingham Bolts take Bundy with the second pick, not only will their street cred get a nice boost, but so will their star power. There have been three movies and two feature films produced about Bundy and his crimes.

3. Tonya Harding

Talk about a winner’s mentality. Tonya Harding will do ANYTHING it takes pull out a victory (except in her current career of professional women’s boxing where she sports a 3-3 record). The Memphis Maniax would be crazy to pass up Harding who’s baseball bat to the knees incident solidified her as scary freak show I will always be terrified of.

4. Tiger Woods

Let’s face it, Tiger. If you performance in last week’s Quail Hollow Championship is any indicator, the whole “golf phase” of your life is just about through. You just aren’t yourself anymore on the golf course. Something seems to be distracting you and it’s a mystery what that something could be. Fret not, Tiger. With your reputation of being a hard-hitter, a right bicep like the one I’m seeing in that picture, and a name like “Tiger”, you will do great in the XFL. Just don’t bring Elin along. She doesn’t quite understand yet that you do what you want.

5. LeGarrette Blount

Here’s hoping LeGarrette’s current stint with the Tennessee Titans is short lived because he has, without question, what it takes to become the face of the league next season. As made evident by his killer right hook just minutes after the final whistle last season, its obvious to me and the rest of the world he ain’t backing down from anyone. I expect to see many more punches like this in the future. Just don’t punch Ted Bundy.

6. Hillbilly Jim

As a WWF hero in the mid-to-late 1980s, Hillbilly Jim possesses the upper body of a combined seven Greek Gods (including Zeus). Jim will be the most feared middle linebacker next season for the mere fact he doesn’t wear pads. In fact, he doesn’t even wear his team’s uniform. He just stands in the middle of the field smiling exactly as he is in the picture above and waits for his next victim.

7. This Guy

I don’t exactly know this guy’s name or anything about him, but I’d be willing to bet the farm he can throw the pigskin a quarter mile. He also is bound to have a decent stiff arm. Hitmen, I say give him a shot. He couldn’t be any worse than your past first round pick, Charles Puleri from New Mexico State.

8. Chad Ochocinco

You can throw that sign away Mr. Ochocinco. Luckily Roger Goodell is not allowed anywhere near an XFL front office, practice, game or player. It’s true. I can show you the actual restraining order. Go ahead, do an Irish Jig after a touchdown. Change your name multiple times in a season forcing jersey manufacturers to lose money. Tweet durning games. Tweet during plays. Do what you wish. They need viewers in the worst way imaginable. This league was made for you, Chad. You can even say “child please” to your coach if he tries to tell you what to do.

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